


More strength than I have

by AussieOutlander



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Australia, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Modern Era, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:26:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 62,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25877395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AussieOutlander/pseuds/AussieOutlander
Summary: Jamie Fraser is a patient service assistant (PSA) at the Royal Children's Hospital in Parkville, Melbourne. He’s recently left his beloved family behind in Scotland, and moved to Australia seeking adventure. Jamie is living with his Uncle Dougal, a surgeon at the hospital, and is acclimatising to Melbourne when he meets Dr Claire Beauchamp, another recent arrival to the country.They share an instant connection, an undeniable chemistry.But with so many challenges coming their way, do they have the strength they need to build a new life, in a new country, together?
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser
Comments: 427
Kudos: 349





	1. Slow down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first attempt at writing a fan fic. The first chapter is only short but I have many ideas coming for the rest of the story. I hope you like it, Leave a comment if you do. xo

“Slow down Mr Fraser! Please try and remember this is a hospital.” cried the Nursing unit Manager, her plea barely audible above the squelching of the wheelchair on the shiny linoleum floor.  
If James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser had a pound for each time he’d been told to slow down, he’d be a very rich man.

Jamie, as he preferred to be known, was always in a hurry. He wanted everything life could offer a lad his age; adventure, travel, fun, and he wanted it yesterday.  
It was this headfirst rush into life that had almost been his downfall.

Just over eighteen months before, Jamie had been injured while rock climbing with his brother-in-law and best friend, Ian. It was something they had done many times before without incident.  
Clear and bright, with little wind, it was a perfect day for climbing.

“Try to keep up old man!” taunted Jamie being competitive as always.

Accepting the challenge, Ian sped up the rugged mountain, quickly catching and passing a very unimpressed Jamie.  
Now only slightly above him, Ian suddenly let out an enormous fart; the wind carried the eggy odour directly into Jamie’s face.

Both roared with laughter, causing Jamie to lose his footing. Unable to regain his grip on the sharp rocks, he slipped straight down the side of the mountain; coming to a temporary halt on a ledge with blood streaming from his face and hands. He tried to call out, but the pain would allow no sound to escape his bloodied lips. He lay, deathly still and silent.

_Ian, for the love of God, help me!_

Scrambling down to his aide; Ian desperately reached out his hand as the rocks collapsed, hurtling Jamie towards the earth.  
Flesh tore from his back; the pain was so intense that he passed out before his lifeless body hit the ground.

~~~~

“Da! Da! He’s blinking, he’s moving!”

These were the first sounds Jamie heard as his eyes slowly opened in the hospital the next day. Blurred vision only allowed a glimpse of his sister Jenny and father, Brian, before exhaustion forced them closed again.

“Accche, Christ!” Jamie wailed violently.

An involuntary movement in sleep sent pain racing through his body. The sudden jolt upright caused fresh blood to leak from his bandaged back and vomit spewed from his lips; Brian and Jenny had been sitting nearby and rushed to his side.

“Shhh Mo Chridhe, shhh, try not tae move Jamie. We’re here with ye,” whispered Jenny.

“Yer in the hospital Jamie, everything will be OK son,” wept Brian, his voice wretched with despair.

Jenny grabbed a towel and clean gown from a waiting nurse and gently cleaned the vomit from her brother. With tears pouring from her eyes, she changed his gown, drenched in blood and sweat.  
Brian stood solemnly, brushing Jamie’s curls from his forehead, his heart breaking at the sight of his son in so much pain.

Over the subsequent week, Jamie slipped in and out of consciousness. Severe trauma to his head and back required a steady stream of interventions to keep him stable. His family put a rotation system in place to ensure he was never alone in those first agonising days.

He also required several surgeries to repair the damage to his mangled back; followed by weeks of intense physiotherapy and rehab to regain strength and mobility.

The long, lonely nights in the hospital provided Jamie with ample time to realise just how lucky he had been to survive the accident. His initial anger and frustration eased as his pain did, and he realised his desire for adventure had not been dulled, unlike his love of rock climbing.

It was during his final days in rehab that Jamie first began tossing around the idea of travel. Not yet ready to settle back into farm life, he had several locations abroad on his shortlist, when his uncle Dougal suggested joining him in Australia.  
Dougal was a Neurosurgeon in Melbourne and secured Jamie a job in his hospital. Completing the relevant training while recouping, he was off to Melbourne as soon as he was strong enough.

Jamie spent his first few weeks in Australia settling into his work and his new home. Living with his Uncle had been quite a change from his home in Scotland, Lallybroch.

He'd been happy to discover a pub just down the round from his new house. He'd spent many nights there and made a few new friends; popularity with the local lasses, who lapped up the handsome Scots accent, was an unexpected but most welcome surprise.

Working at the hospital proved to be more rewarding than he had expected, especially meeting the kids. As heartbreaking as it could be to see the wee bairns so sick, being able to bring some light and laughter to their days filled him with a sense of pride; his own lonely, painful nights in the hospital were fading into his memory.  
Little did he know, another life-changing event was just around the corner.

Engrossed in deep conversation about Marvel movies, Jamie and a young patient named Willie were arguing the finer points of Thor vs Ironman, when someone came racing around the corner and collided into the wheelchair.

"Oh God! I'm so sorry, are you both OK?" They cried.

Jamie's Scottish temper instantly bubbled to the surface, and after quickly checking on Willie, he readied himself to scald them for their carelessness.  
About to launch into his tirade, he instead found himself at a complete loss for words. Before him, stood the single most gorgeous woman he had ever seen.

Chocolate brown curls perfectly framed her delicate face; she was tall and slim and had the most beautiful whiskey coloured eyes.  
Jamie felt a blush rise to his cheeks and ears as he realised he was staring.  
Seemingly unable to speak, he only nodded in response.

“Today's my first day. I’m completely lost. Could you tell me where the radiology department is?”

"Aye," was the only response Jamie could muster.

Noticing his escort's sudden inability to speak in full sentences, Willie giggled and answered for him.

“We’re on our way there too. You can walk with us if you like?”

“Well, thank you, young man," she said, politely shaking his hand. "My name is Claire, Dr Claire, very pleased to meet you."

"Claire," sighed Jamie.

_Oh god, did I say that out loud?_

Loud giggles from the patient and the shocked expression written on the pretty Doctor's face told him that he had indeed said it aloud.  
Nervously gripping the handles of the wheelchair, he resumed walking towards radiology, with Claire in tow.

_Say something ye eejit!_

“Jamie’s my name, Jamie Fraser; from Scotland. I’m from Scotland!”

Willie’s giggles again echoed loudly in the corridor, but this time Dr Claire giggled a little too.

“Sorry bout that, ye gave me a bit of a wee fright ye ken,” he said, trying hopelessly to regain his composure.

“Oh really? I would have thought a tall young lad like yourself wouldn’t be frightened by a wee lassie like me!” She teased in a terrible Scottish accent.

All three laughed as they walked, eventually reaching their destination. Willie was greeted warmly at the door by a nurse and wheeled away.

“Bye Dr Claire. Jamie, will you pick me up later?” Willie asked as he waived.

“Aye, I promise. See ye soon.”

They waved as Willie was wheeled away, down the long corridor.

“He seems very fond of you, have you worked with him for long?” asked Claire.

“No, not really. The young lad’s just taken a liking tae me. He’s been here for a few days having a video EEG done, so I’ve tried tae get tae know him a bit. I’ve only been working here a few months myself. What ward will ye be working in?” He asked.

“Neurology; our email's down and apparently as the newest Doctor, it’s my task to pick up some reports. A bit of a joke I think, to see if I can find my way.”

Smiling politely, they held each other’s eye for a few moments.  
Hypnotised by those whiskey coloured eyes, Jamie felt an overwhelming sense of familiarity with the stranger before him. Little did he know she was experiencing the same feeling. Claire sweetly thanked him again for his help. It was only then that Jamie noticed her English accent.

_A Sassenach_

“From England are ye? I’m from Scotland,” he said matter of factly.

“Yes, you did mention that; see you around Jamie Fraser from Scotland.”

A surge of adrenaline pumped through his veins when he heard his name leave her soft lips. As he turned to leave, he caught a glimpse of her reflection in the sliding door. His heart skipped a beat to see she was watching him as she walked away.

_Aye I hope so Sassenach._


	2. Sassenach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My patient, he was only eight, Jamie, and I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t do anything to save him.” 
> 
> Jamie dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her. 
> 
> “It’s alright Sassenach, dinna fash, shhh, it’s alright. I’m here wi ye,” he whispered.   
> Jamie felt a sense of guilt in the pleasure he found in holding her, in how he wanted to be everything she needed at that moment. Suddenly becoming conscious of the intimacy of their interaction, Claire withdrew.
> 
> “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean too,” she sobbed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Here is the chapter 2. Thanks again to my amazing Betas for their help, and thank you for your wonderful comments from chapter 1.  
> Just a quick warning for some, there is mention of Epilepsy and SUDEP ( sudden unexplained death in person with Epilepsy) this chapter.  
> Thank you, hope you like it. xxoo

[ ](https://ibb.co/C1bm0kf)

Sassenach

“Get a grip man.” Jamie said to himself as he strode alongside his Uncle at the end of their day.

“Hey, what was that?” grumbled Dougal; he was tired and cranky from his 12-hour shift and in little mood for guessing games.

“Oh nothin, just talking tae myself,” Jamie replied.

“Did ye manage tae get a look at the new nurse in neurology? Claire, I think her name is,” said Dougal. “What a body, I’ll be keeping a close eye on her work.” He winked while making a squeezing gesture with his hands.

“I’ll thank ye not tae speak of her like that, and besides, she’s a Dr, not a nurse, ye old pervert,” barked Jamie.

“Oh aye, ye did see her then. Got a good look I suspect ye did!” He roared with laughter.

Jamie reminded himself that he would soon have an Australian license and be a step closer to moving out of his uncle's home. 

He loved him and was grateful for the roof over his head, and his job, but he was tired of relying so heavily on Dougal and longed for his independence and privacy.

Before leaving Scotland, he had supplied Jenny with boxes of his old thing for her to sell on eBay and she sent the proceeds to him once it was all sold. He had been working hard and had saved enough for a small car, and would soon have enough to get his own place.

After a silent drive home in the hectic Melbourne traffic and a quick feed, Jamie decided to walk to the pub for a whisky. There was no shortage of whisky at his Uncle’s house to be sure, but he was tired of his uncle's ribbing about the new doctor and her 'fine body of work.'

It had been a pleasant surprise to Jamie to discover just how many Scots there were living in Melbourne. Jamie was called over by his friend and fellow Scotsman Rupert, as soon as he entered the pub. 

He’d met Rupert on his first night out, and the two became instant friends. The pair bonded over their homesickness, the excitement they had for their new home and their shared family name, Mackenzie; though as far as they could gather they were unrelated. Plus Rupert enjoyed the attention from the ladies that his new friend always seemed to attract.

The lads ordered their whiskeys and sat by the bar, chatting about football, or soccer as the locals called it, when Jamie heard a familiar voice beside him.

“Two white wines please,”

Jamie looked to his right and saw Claire standing next to him. Both a little surprised to see each other, they exchanged greetings and fell into an awkward silence. Highly amused by their awkwardness towards each other, Rupert leaned into Jamie. “Are you going to introduce me then?” 

“Right, sorry. Rupert Mackenzie, this is Dr Claire...oh, I don’t know your last name,” Jamie said.

“Beauchamp, Claire Beauchamp,” she said

She reached across Jamie to shake Rupert's outstretched hand. As she moved her arm back towards the waiting drinks, she knocked one of the wine glasses right onto Jamie’s lap.

"Ach, shite!" he squealed. 

“Oh god! I’m so sorry!” Claire exclaimed.

Before she could fully consider her actions, Claire grabbed a stack of napkins from behind the bar, bent down and attempted to pat dry his crotch. Jamie, who was quite justifiably shocked by this gesture, jumped up out of his seat and knocked Claire to the ground.

Rupert roared with laughter as both Claire and Jamie struggled to recover their composure. 

Jamie reached down and effortlessly pulled Claire to her feet. Even through her embarrassment, she couldn't help but notice his strength and the ease in which he picked her up, or the size of his hands!

"What in God's name is going on here then?" Quizzed a voice from behind them. 

“Geillis! This is my friend Geillis,” Claire stammered, still mortified by her ridiculous crotch drying attempt, and happy for the attention to shift to her boisterous friend.

"Jamie and Rupert," she continued, simply pointing to each as she said their names.

“Always a pleasure tae meet some fellow Scots,” said Geills in her thick accent. 

“Why don’t ye come sit at our table and relax a bit? We can talk about home while you dry off,” she smirked, winking at Jamie.

They moved to their table and sat in silence for a moment or two before Geillis, picking up on the sexual tension between her friend and the hunky Scot, decided to amuse herself.

“So Jamie, Claire tells me ye work at the hospital, too. What a coincidence bumping into ye here then. Oh my, ye didn’t follow Claire here, did ye lad?” she said with a faux look of shock and concern. Claire gave her a sharp elbow to her friend under the table.

“Why no, I live just down the way and Rupert lives just over the street. That's how we met ye see, here at the pub; it’s our local ye ken.”

“Oh, I ken,” smized Geillis. She moved on to interrogating poor Rupert about his sex life, and it suddenly dawned on Jamie; Geillis knew he worked at the hospital, and that he was a Scot. 

_Claire told her about me!_

Already completely smitten, this revelation only added fuel to the fire and hope that she felt the same attraction he did. 

At several points during the evening, they would catch each other in look, and Jamie was sure Claire flirtatiously twisted her dark brown curls around her fingers whenever she spoke to him. 

The night was a blur of whiskey, wine and laughter. Before they realised, it was midnight, and with all four having to work the next day, they regrettably decided to call it a night. 

By that point, Geillis had given up on Claire or Jamie making the first move and decided it was up to her to get things moving. She arranged another catch up for Friday night when all four would be free and have no work the next day.

As they exchanged farewells outside, Geiliis, in her self-appointed role of cupid, nonchalantly shoved Claire in the back, causing her to lurch headfirst toward Jamie. Claire put her hands out to stop herself from falling and landed roughly on his broad chest. 

She lingered; she knew she should move, but he just smelt so good, a perfect combination of sweat, soap and whisky. She could feel his heart rate increase, his warm breath against her cheek and his firm, muscular body beneath her hands.

She slowly lifted her gaze, and found him, wantingly locked onto her. He had the most amazing crystal blue eyes, so deep she felt she would drown in them.

She wanted him. She lent in to kiss his impossibly perfect lips, before suddenly catching herself and drawing away. She looked to the ground in a desperate attempt to disguise her desire.

Jamie remained still; biting his lip, both unable and unwilling to take his eyes off her. 

_Why did ye stop Sassenach?_

Rupert and Geillis stood and watched, mouths agape in disbelief at what they had witnessed. With little movement from the lustful duo, Rupert gave Jamie a solid whack on the back.

"Alright, time to go, lover boy," he teased. He grabbed Jamie by the arm and dragged him away. 

"Night Ladies!" he said with a hearty chuckle.

"Good Lord man, what the feck was that?" he quizzed as they walked away.

"I dinna ken," replied Jamie. "But I ken I'm in trouble."

~~~~~

Claire rolled over in bed and slowly opened her eyes. Her first thought was Jamie Fraser; his adorable mop of hair, and that large, muscular chest that she’d landed on last night. 

Never before had felt such an immediate and intense attraction. She’d always felt confident in her sexuality, but Jamie brought out something in her that was new, and she desperately wanted to see him again.

She stretched her long slender legs and reached up to grab her phone.“Jesus H Christ, 8.30!” 

_Late on your second day, great impression, Beauchamp._

After a quick shower, Claire grabbed her bag and a banana and rushed out the door. Her phone rang as soon as her foot hit the footpath. 

“Hi Geillis, I’m late for work, I'll call you back later," she said as she rushed down the street.

“Aye, and hi tae ye too,” Geillis replied, completely ignoring her friend's obvious urgency to end the call. “I just wanted tae check how ye were feeling this morning? Still swooning?” she teased.

“Goodbye Geillis,“ Claire laughed; she knew her friend would not be offended by the sudden disconnection.

Geillis was Claire’s rock, and she had been since they met in University. She'd guided Claire through some of her darkest days, including her divorce from Frank Randall 2 years ago. 

They had married when she was just nineteen. An orphan and only child, Claire was raised by her Uncle Lamb, an archeologist. Her childhood was spent travelling the globe with him, never really knowing a true home.

The resentment in their marriage built quickly, as Claire forged a career and a life that didn't revolve around him. 

When Claire refused to give him the children he so desired, when she dared to ask for more time before starting a family, he left her.

She was devastated to have a failed marriage at just 25, but as the days and weeks passed, Claire came to see just how toxic the relationship had become and chose to thrive in her newfound freedom. 

Moving to Australia was a new beginning, and the blossoming relationship with Jamie, the complete opposite of Frank, was exactly what she needed. 

Claire arrived at her ward and managed to slip into the nurses station without drawing any attention to herself. She’d made it just in time for handover. While reading some patient’s notes, she felt a presence right beside her. She looked up to find a large, balding, bearded man extremely close to her face.

“Doctor Beauchamp is it?” he asked with a thick Scottish accent.

“Yes, that’s right, can I help you with something?”

"Aye, ye can lass. I’m Doctor Mackenzie, the neurosurgeon. I’ll be taking a look at young Elias with ye today.”

“Pleased to meet you, Doctor,” replied Claire.

They shook hands as professionals do when meeting, but Dougal was not thinking like a professional and rubbed his thumb gently against her palm, Claire quickly pulled her hand away.

_EWWWW_

“Right, let’s go and see him now then,” she said and took off down the hall; not telling him to fuck off was now her primary objective.

The two doctors entered the patient's room to find the young boy sitting in bed, strapped to an EEG machine, his mum wearily reading him a story.

“Good morning, how is our favourite patient feeling today?“ Claire asked in her cheeriest voice.

“Ok,” replied Elias.

“He's a very tired boy, Doctor. He had quite a few seizures last night, so we didn’t get a lot of sleep,” said his mum.

"Well, that's what we are here for. This is Doctor Mackenzie, he will be performing your surgery tomorrow," said Claire. She motioned toward Doctor Mackenzie who sat next to Elias on the bed. 

“Hello, young man. Sorry tae hear ye had a bad night's sleep. How are ye feeling now? Apart from tired.”

Claire was pleasantly surprised by the gentle and friendly manner that he addressed the young boy with.

“Bored,” replied Elias.

“Aye, well apart from bored. Are ye feeling alright lad? No headache or bellyache? Any seizures this morning?”

“No Doctor,” he replied through a yawn.

The two doctors went over a few things with both mother and son, then left the room. 

Claire wondered if she had been too quick to judge Dr Mackenzie. 

He had been very caring with their patient Elias. Maybe she had misread the handshake. The thought had barely left her mind, when the doctor approached and stood so close, he almost pushed her against the wall. 

“Thank ye, Dr Beauchamp, I look forward to working closely with ye.”

He turned to walk away but not before deliberately knocking the charts out of Claire’s hands. She bent over to pick them up and could see him watching her from the corner of her eye.

“What a creep!” grimaced Claire

“Meet Dr Titsfirst did we?” said a young nurse named Mary, who had the broadest Australian accent Claire had heard to date.

“Dr what?” Asked Claire confused.

“Dr Mackenzie," she explained, "There’s a bunch of us that call him Dr Titsfirst; cause he talks to your tits first, then he looks you in the face. He doesn’t do it to everyone mind you, just the young ones; thinks he can intimidate us meek and obedient little nurses. I reckon you’re the first Doctor he's tried it with though.“

“Really?” scoffed Claire, “Well, he’ll soon find he picked the wrong Doctor to start with, I’m not the meek and obedient type.

~~~~~

  
  


It would be almost three days before Jamie would see her again. He found himself looking for her everywhere he went, hoping for even just a glance of Claire.

_My Claire_

He knew they’d just met, but he was overwhelmed by his attraction to her, and felt ill at the thought of not seeing her soon. 

In between patients, Jamie walked up to the Neurology ward, hoping he might run into her. He spotted Mary and struck up a conversation, during which he casually asked about Dr Claire’s whereabouts. 

“She’s very nice, isn’t she? And very pretty,” she smirked.

After some more playful teasing, she revealed that Claire had been at a training program for the neuro residents but assured him she would be back later that day. Jamie tried to cover his relief at that news and thanked her for the help.

After lunch, he popped back into the neuro ward to see Willie, and perhaps also to see if Claire had returned. The ward was oddly quiet, no staff at the nurses station or in the staffroom, and there was still no sight of Claire.

He walked into Willie's room and found the young lad alone and in tears. Jamie rushed to his side, filled with concern. 

“Willie, what's the matter lad, are ye sick?"

Willie turned and looked at Jamie, with an expression that tore at his heart.

“I heard the nurses talking about him, about the boy, Elias. He died Jamie, he has epilepsy like me, and he died!”

He began to cry hysterically and collapsed into a heap onto his pillow. Jamie sat next to him and handed him the well-loved teddy bear that sat at the foot of his bed.

“Dinna fash lad, it’s ok, it’s ok. Shh,” he said, as he patted Willie gently on his back.

At that moment, Willie's mother walked in. She smiled at Jamie, and they swapped positions on the bed. Willie melted into his mum’s embrace. Jamie could feel the tears welling in his own eyes. Not wanting to upset the lad more with his own tears, he gave him a quick pat on the shoulder and promised he would be back tomorrow to see him before he went home.

Jamie left the room and slumped into a chair beside the nurse’s station, his memories of childhood grief swirling in his mind. He had lost his brother, also named Willie when he was a lad, and his Ma had passed away not long after. Jamie believed she died of a broken heart and it hurt right to his very core to think of them right now. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. 

As he stood, he caught a glimpse of a mop of brown curls half-hidden behind the staffroom door.

It was Claire, sitting on the floor crying.

“Claire, are ye ok lass?” he asked softly, moving closer by her side. She slowly lifted her head to reveal red swollen eyes, filled with tears, and a look of anguish on her face.

“My patient, he was only eight, Jamie, and I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t do anything to save him.” Jamie dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her. 

“It’s alright Sassenach, dinna fash, shhh, it’s alright. I’m here wi ye,” he whispered. 

Jamie felt a sense of guilt in the pleasure he found in holding her, in how he wanted to be everything she needed at that moment. Suddenly becoming conscious of the intimacy of their interaction, Claire withdrew.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean too,” she sobbed. 

“Dinna be fashed with me Sassenach. I just want to help ye.”

“Thank you, Jamie, you’re very kind. It’s the first time I’ve lost a paediatric patient, you see. I feel so helpless." Tears flooded her cheeks, and she again sought Jamie’s arms without a second thought.

Both sat peacefully in each other’s arms; Jamie whispered Gaelic musings into her ear. He was completely lost in his desire to comfort her when their embrace was suddenly interrupted by Dougal Mackenzie.

“Well, what have we got here then?”

The two jumped apart. Clare ran out of the room, leaving Jamie equally embarrassed and annoyed for the disturbance to their embrace.

“I was just comforting the poor lass, Uncle. She lost a patient ya ken.”

“Aye, Young Elias, sudden unexplained death in epilepsy; there was nothing we could do for the lad. He was supposed to have surgery a few days ago, but he was tae unstable. Dinna fash about the lass; she’ll be alright.” He patted his nephew on the back and walked away with his head down. 

Jamie was torn on whether to search for Claire or to leave her be. In the end his decision was made for him, when he was called by his manager to assist another patient. 

His Claire would have to wait.

~~~~~~~

Claire sat alone, in the busy food court trying to force herself to eat something.

She’d been at a seminar in the city that morning and had only just returned to the hospital when she received news of Elias. She hadn’t eaten all day and was feeling light-headed and nauseous. It was not a pleasant combination, and she wasn’t sure if eating would cure her or make her feel worse.

She sat quietly, keeping her head down so no one would notice her swollen eyes. The sadness she felt was compounded by a sense of guilt that she couldn’t do anything to save Elias.

She eventually forced herself to eat, and once she started, found herself quite hungry. She was contemplating buying more to eat when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“You look like shite,” said Geillis. Claire tried to smile, but tears flowed instead. “Come now, let's get ye home, I’ve already spoken tae yer team, and they’re happy tae cover the rest of yer shift.”

Yet again, Geillis was there when Claire needed her. She supported the exhausted Doctor up out of her chair, and they walked outside to the fresh air, arms linked. 

It was early in Spring, and the Melbourne nights could still be quite chilly. 

Geillis wrapped her arm around her shivering friend, and just as they reached the road, they heard someone shout their names. They turned to find Jamie’s friend Rupert.

He greeted the pair warmly, and noticing Claire’s appearance, made his exit quickly, but not before reminding them of their planned catch up at the pub the next night. 

The girls crossed the street and made their way to Claire's flat.

Geillis opened the door and ushered Claire inside. She popped her on the couch and made her way to the kitchen. 

"Nothing a cup of tea can't fix," she called out from the kitchen.

By the time she returned to the couch with the hot tea and their new Aussie snack of choice, TimTams, Claire was sound asleep.

Claire woke the next morning barely able to remember arriving home. She looked at her clock, it was already ten. She dragged herself out of bed and hopped into the shower, letting the steaming hot water run over her slender frame. 

With every drop, the tension melted from her body. She felt grateful to have the next few days off after the first week she wouldn’t forget.

After changing into some fresh clothes, she made herself some tea and toast, then slumped onto the couch. Two things consumed her mind, young Elias and oddly, the word Sassenach. 

_Sassenach? What does it mean?_

She grabbed her phone and googled; SASSENACH: Scottish word for English person or foreigner, sometimes a lowland Scot.

“Well, he got the English part right,” she mumbled to herself, slightly disappointed that it wasn’t a term of endearment. Her mind continued to ponder about Jamie and she couldn’t help but wonder if he felt the same level of attraction.

She took her dishes to the kitchen and decided to go for a run to clear her head. 

There were many beautiful paths and parks nearby, and Claire had taken up jogging since her arrival. She grabbed her phone and headphones and headed out the door. Running with her head down, looking at her phone, she turned the corner and bumped straight into Jamie.

“Aye, Sassenach, we’ve got to stop meeting like this; people will talk” he grinned.Claire whipped her headphones out and returned the smile.

_God, he's sexy_

“How are you doing today?" he asked, his face changing from one of happiness to concern.

“I’m ok, thank you. Sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have...”

“It’s ok, Claire, honestly. I’m glad I could be there for you. My uncle told me what happened with Elias. I’m truly sorry.”

“Your uncle?” Claire asked with a confused expression.

“Aye, Uncle Dougal. Well, you’d know him as Dr Dougal Mackenzie; he’s a surgeon at the hospital.”

“Dr Mackenzie is your Uncle?’” Claire shot back.

“Oh aye, made quite the impression on ye, has he Sassenach?“ said Jamie with a raised brow.

“Why do you keep calling me that? Sassenach. I know it means an English person but...”

“I dinda mean to offend ye, Claire,” he interrupted, “I mean it with affection,” he saidlooking down at his feet, a little embarrassed.

Claire recognised the innocence in his reply and returned instead to the topic of his Uncle Dougal. After a thorough interrogation about their connection, Claire came to peace with the fact that he and his uncle seemed to be two very different people.

“Will ye be joining us at the pub tonight, then?” he asked hopefully.

“I’m not sure, Jamie. I don’t know if I feel up to it. I don’t think I’d make very good company.”

“Well, I’d love to see ye there. I mean I hope to see ye there. Be good for ye to get out, have some fun,” he said.

Leaning in closer, he took Claire’s hand and squeezed it gently. She felt it instantly, an overwhelming attraction. She had never felt anything like it with another man. 

“I won’t bite; I promise,” he teased

_What if I want you too?_

"Well, maybe you're right. It would do me good to get out," she smiled.

Jamie released her hand, flashed a big smile and continued on his way, leaving Claire feeling a little disappointed with his departure.

~~~~~~~~

Jamie changed his clothes three times before leaving the house. He wanted to look perfect, not too casual but not too dressy. He eventually settled on jeans, a white tee and a brown leather jacket. 

It was a lovely mild evening as he walked the short distance to the pub. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves, walked through the door and saw her immediately, standing beside Geillis and Rupert. 

She was glowing. She wore a sexy black dress that accentuated her gorgeous long legs, and her flowing curls were pulled to the side in a clip. Jamie strode towards them and was greeted by Rupert with a loud wolf whistle.

“Guid evening, how’s everyone doing tonight?” he said while shooting some serious side-eye to Rupert.

“Aye, good, thanks. You look rather dashing this evening Jamie. Don’t you agree Claire?” said Geillis cheekily. 

“Yes, very dashing. Should we find a table?” she said quickly, trying to change the subject. They found a table by the window and ordered a round of drinks.

Jamie was pleasantly surprised to find Claire was fond of whisky, even more so by the speed at which she could drink it, downing her first two, one after the other. This didn’t go unnoticed by Rupert either, who gave Jamie a quick wink of approval when she downed her third. 

Their mutual infatuation continued to grow as they shared stories of home, her childhood travelling the globe with her Uncle Lamb and his beloved Lallybroch. 

The table quickly filled with their empty glasses and the room with their laughter. 

Jamie couldn't take his eyes off her, the way her curls wrapped around her face and twisted down her elegant neck. Her lips were so soft and inviting. He was desperate to kiss her.

Around midnight, Gellis and Rupert engaged in a deep and seemingly secret conversation, leaving Jamie and Claire alone for the first time that night. 

“So, are you planning tae stay in Australia long then Claire?” he asked inquisitively.

"Well, my residency is for three years so I know I'll be here for that long at least. Though to be honest, I don't have anyone, or anything left in England to draw me back. What about you, what are your plans?”

“Ach, I’m not sure either. I'd be home tomorrow if my family had anything tae do with it, but I want tae have an adventure before I go back tae the farm. I love Lallybroch, with all my heart, but I just don't know if that’s the life I want, yet, anyway; maybe if I had a wife tae take home with me, it’d be different.” 

Jamie reached across the table and softly took Claire’s hand, subconsciously caressing her palm with his. “Claire, would ye go out with me again, just you and...” 

“Jamie! Oh wow, is that you?”

A very tall, very blonde and very French woman squealed and ran towards their table. She threw her arms around Jamie's neck and planted several kisses on his cheek. 

_Oh Shite_

“Jamie, it is you. It's so good to see you! I've missed you, my sexy Scot!” 

“Hey, Annaliese, good tae see you too,” he said, trying desperately to remove himself from the excited lass’s grip. 

He glanced up at Claire, who was sitting with arms crossed, looking very unimpressed by the new addition to the table. Annalise continued to pepper Jamie with kisses. He stood and swiftly ushered her towards the bar.

~~~~~~

Claire leaned over and grabbed Rupert by the scruff of his shirt.

"And precisely who is that? There's been no mention of a girlfriend during the evening,” she snapped.

“Dinna fash Claire, she’s not his girlfriend. They've spent a few drunken nights together tae be sure, but girlfriend nae, not his type,” he replied. Geillis nearly choked on her drink. 

“Beautiful, leggy, French blondes aren’t his type? Well there's a first for mankind,” she laughed. Claire gave Gellis a look she knew all too well and it stopped her laughter instantly.

Meanwhile, Jamie, who had managed to free himself from Annalise, made his way back to the table.

“Sorry about that, just an old friend.”

“Oh yes, she's very friendly, and not too old by the look of her,” Claire grumbled. The night's whisky consumption was well and truly affecting her ability to disguise her jealousy. 

“I need to go to the toilet!" she declared loudly. 

She pushed her chair out from the table and wobbled off in the opposite direction to the bathrooms. 

~~~~~~

Rupert and Geillis looked at each other, nodded and jumped from the table. This was their opportunity to put their secret plan into action.

“Good luck Romeo!” They mocked in chorus, and scurried off in hysterics. Jamie was left to sit alone, tapping two fingers on the table nervously. He was not sure if he was happy with this development but had little time to ponder it before Claire returned. She just caught sight of them as they slipped out the door.

“Where did those two run off to?” she asked and cast a suspicious eye over Jamie.

“I dinna ken, they just started laughing and ran out." 

He took her hand into his, leant in face to face, and whispered, "I suppose that means it's just you and me Sassenach." 

"Don't forget your little blonde friend,” she snapped. She pulled her hand away, narrowed her eyes and searched the bar for Annaliese. 

“No, she won't be joining us. She's just a friend Claire, I swear. We had a few dates but we just didn't click, not like us,” he said softly.

_Smooth Fraser_

Feeling rather pleased with this answer, Claire suggested another whisky.

“Nae, I reckon we've had enough for one night. Can I walk ye home Sassenach?” 

“Are you implying that I'm intoxicated?” she slurred. 

“Well, I'd be impressed if ye weren’t. Most people would be under the table with that amount of whisky,” he smiled. 

Ever the gallant gentleman, Jamie stood, moved behind Claire and pulled out her chair. The pair stepped outside, and when the fresh night air hit Claire's lungs, it caused her to wobble on her feet.

“Maybe I am a little bit tipsy,” she laughed. 

Jamie slipped his hand around her waist and found it was a perfect fit in the small off her back. They made the short walk to Claire's flat and reached her building without speaking; it was not an uncomfortable silence, quite the opposite. It felt like the most natural thing in the world.

They stopped at the door and turned to face each other. “Can I see ye again tomorrow?” he asked hopefully.

“Yes please, that would be lovely. Would you like to come in for a drink?”

Jamie had never wanted anything more in his life but surprised himself when no slipped from his lips. “I want to Claire, I do, but I think we've had a wee bit too much tae drink, I don't want anything tae happen that you may regret.”

Claire stepped closer to Jamie, placed her hand on his cheast and whispered. “I won’t regret anything, Jamie.” 

She was so close to him now. Her body almost pressed against him. He could smell her sweet floral perfume, and her hair had broken free from its clip and fell loose over her beautiful face.

_God she’s amazing._

She slowly started to move her hips, ever so slightly, almost dancing against him. He could sense her urgency building, as she swayed back and forth. 

He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into a deep, lingering kiss. The bristles of his beard scratched against her soft cheeks as she gripped his head firmly as if to keep him from escaping.

His tongue danced over her lips and forced them apart, finding hers waiting, they massaged against each other.

Claire licked, then nipped his bottom lip and giggled sexily when the sharp sting caused him to jump.

She began to rub her body against him, pushing him closer towards her door. “Come in. I want you, Jamie,” she whispered, still pressed against him.

_Go in ye numpty_

She reached into her bag and fished around for her keys. Jamie had never wanted anyone more in his life, but he wanted their first time together, his first time with anyone, to be perfect and not clouded by the fog of whisky. 

“I can't believe I'm going to say this but, I really shouldn't. I want to, God I really want to, but ..."

She cut off his answer by dragging him back onto her lips. “Stay with me Jamie, please,” she begged as she kissed his neck and twisted her hands around his soft ginger curls.

“I promise soon Claire just, not tonight.” he said breathlessly. 

She achingly withdrew her lips from his neck and facing him, walked back to her door. “Ok Jamie as long as you’re sure,” she said, pouting. 

She resumed her search for her keys without taking her eyes off him. Keys found she opened the door. 

“Last chance,” she whispered. 

She slowly stepped into the doorway, turned to face him and slipped her dress off her shoulder. 

“Goodnight Claire Beauchamp,” he said, biting his lip to stop himself from following her.

“Goodnight Jamie Fraser,” she purred as she seductively freed her other shoulder from her dress and slowly closed the door behind her. 

_Ye bloody eejit_


	3. First date.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost as if she could hear his thoughts, she looked up at him and smiled that smile which made him weak at the knees. Whatever this was, love, lust, infatuation, he knew she was the one for him, and he would do anything to see that smile.  
> After they'd finished eating, the same thought was uppermost in both their minds.
> 
> "Will ye come home with me, Sassenach?" he said, taking her hand.

Claire arrived at Geillis’s house the next morning feeling a little worse for wear. Regret over her overindulgence in whisky had mixed with feelings of relief that Jamie was gentlemanly enough not to take advantage of her drunken state, and disappointment that nothing had happened between them.

Geillis startled her when she flung open the front door, just as she was about to knock. Claire’s surprise increased tenfold, to see Rupert standing behind her in a somewhat unkempt state. He bid farewell to Geillis, and brushed past Claire- giving her an awkward nod as he passed. 

“Jesus H Christ, what the hell happened Geillis?” Claire laughed.

“Come now, don't get yer knickers in a twist, Claire. Just a bit of innocent fun. Not my finest moment, I'll grant ye, but a girl cannae spend every night alone, can she?” 

“He's not your usual type,” smirked Claire. 

“Aye, but I’ve always had an eye for the hairy gents, ya ken that Claire. Now if ye have finished judging me, tell me what happened with Jamie?”

“Nothing happened,” Claire said coyly. “A little kiss, and then he left.”

“Ye liar!” screamed Gellis. She pulled Claire into the house, determined to get all the juicy gossip. 

~~~~ 

Jamie returned from his daily run, had a quick shower and was enjoying his breakfast when his phone buzzed. He picked it up and was greeted to a picture of Rupert with Geillis draped around his neck, her tongue in his ear. 

[Rupert 10:01] How was yer night lad? Hope it went as well as mine! 

Jamie dropped his phone on the table and rubbed his eyes, not sure if he was amused or disturbed by what he had just seen. He finished his breakfast and put the dishes in the sink. He stood staring out the window, and wondered what Claire was doing right now.

_Did she have a good night?_

Visions of her flashed through his mind; her face, her lips, her body, the way she moved as she dropped that dress off her shoulder. When he closed his eyes, he could hear the wee moan she'd made as they kissed. 

Just the thought of it drove him mad. _Christ, she’ll be the death of me._

He had to see her again, to hear that moan again and he didn't care if he appeared too eager. He grabbed his phone, then realised they didn't exchange numbers. 

_Rookie mistake, Fraser._

Remembering Rupert’s message, he shot him a text back.

[Jamie 10:11] Hey, do ye have Geillis’s number? I forgot to get Claire’s last night. Can ye ask her for me?

[Rupert 10:15] Maybe, but how do I ken that the lass wanted to give ye her number?

[Jamie 10.15] Stop being a dick. Can ye ask Geillis PLEASE!

[Jamie 10.24] Answer me damn it!!!!!!

[Rupert 10.31] Geillis is gone 😟

[Jamie 10.31] For fucks sake, do ye have her number or no?

After a few frustratingly slow texts back and forth, his phone rang. Unknown number flashed on the screen, and he stopped breathing.

“Hello,” he answered, trying to sound as calm as possible.

“Hi Jamie, it's me, Claire. I was with Geillis when she got Rupert's message. Are you stalking me?” she asked without the slightest hint of humour in her voice.

Jamie's heart nearly jumped out of his mouth. “What? No, I just, I dinna get yer number and I was wanting to see ye. I’m sorry Claire, I thought we, I dinna mean...” he stammered.

“Jamie, I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” She was laughing hysterically and Jamie could hear Geillis laughing along with her in the background.

“Christ Claire, ye scared the life outta me! I nearly dropped dead on the spot,” he sighed, rubbing his hand through his hair. 

“I couldn't help myself, you sounded so serious when you answered.” She choked a laugh. “Are you ok now? Has your pulse lowered a bit or do you need to see Doctor Claire?” She was laughing so hard, Jamie could only just make out what she was saying.

_I love her laugh_

“Aye, yer a witty one aren’t ye, just ye wait, I’ll get ye back,” he chuckled. They continued teasing each other for a few minutes before Claire's voice suddenly changed tone.

“Did you have a good time last night?” she asked.

“Aye, I had a great night Claire; it was great, really great.”

_God, how many times did I say great?_

“Would you like to have lunch with me today? There’s a great cafe on my street, #45, meet me in an hour?” she asked hopefully.

“Sounds amazing. See ye then Sassenach,” he replied while fist pumping. 

“Bye Jamie.”

_A dhia_

The way she said his name nearly floored him. 

A sense of contentment warmed him from within. To find someone he could be so attracted to, so drawn to, but still be able to joke and laugh and talk to the way they could, gave him almost more happiness than he could take. Possibly also more than his nerves could take, he was drenched in sweat. 

Deciding he needed another shower, he stood washing his body and as had happened so many times since they’d met, his mind wandered off to thoughts of her. He closed his eyes and could see her smiling and laughing. Her laugh was amazing, sexy, cute and kind of evil all at the same time.

A car horn tooting outside snapped him back to reality and a slight panic set in when he realised he’d been in the shower daydreaming for thirty minutes. Quickly dressing and almost running, he was still the first to arrive at the cafe.

He sat by the window and ordered a coffee; his fingers tapped rhythmically on his thigh and his foot twitched nervously. Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long before he saw Claire crossing the street in front of the cafe. 

She looked amazing as always, wearing a summery yellow dress as bright as the sunshine itself. She breezed into the cafe and smiled when she saw him. He stood to greet her and she leant in and kissed him on the lips sweetly.

“Good morning, Jamie.” 

“Good Morning, Sassenach.” A giant smile swept across his face.

_Mo Cridhe_

A waitress brought over the menu and they selected their meals.Claire chose smashed avocado on toast, a local delicacy she’d discovered and enjoyed, while Jamie went for the traditional fried eggs and bacon, beans and extra toast. 

“Hungry are we?” she teased.

“Aye, I’m a growing lad, Sassenach, and I’m starving after my run. I missed ye this morning; it wasn’t the same without ye knocking me over,” he said with a wink. 

“Maybe we could start running together in the mornings, if you're not afraid of me beating you.”

“I’ll hold ye to that Sassenach,'' he said, beaming at the idea of being with her every day.

When their meals arrived, Jamie went straight for the tomato sauce, his tongue poked out a little as he squeezed the bottle.

“Would you like some eggs with that sauce?” Claire laughed, bemused by the size of his meal and the amount he had heaped onto his eggs. 

“Only way to eat it Sassenach,” he said smiling, as he stabbed an egg with his fork and waved it in Claire’s direction. “Want some?” 

“I’ll be fine with my avocado, thank you,” she laughed. 

They ate slowly, savouring each other as much as the meals before them. It felt as though they were the only two people in the cafe. 

Jamie loved watching her eat, her little quirks and mannerisms fascinated him. How could he find her so sexy, yet adorably dorky at the same time. With every movement, gesture and laugh, he could feel himself falling deeper and deeper into...

_Love, ye love her._

An internal argument raged in his mind. 

_Love? Surely not, they’d just met. It canna be love, can it?_

Almost as if she could hear his thoughts, she looked up at him and smiled that smile which made him weak at the knees. Whatever this was, love, lust, infatuation, he knew she was the one for him, and he would do anything to see that smile.

After they'd finished eating, the same thought was uppermost in both their minds.

"Will ye come home with me, Sassenach?" he said, taking her hand.

"Yes, of course," she replied.

Walking home, as close to each other physically possible, their hands constantly bumped and brushed against each other until Jamie took her hand and held it tightly. He never wanted to let it go.

They were a little over halfway home when Jamie remembered Dougal was likely to be at home, he wasn't ready for him to be aware of the relationship yet. Claire was in complete agreement, so they made a detour to her flat. Claire gave him a quick tour of the place, then headed to the kitchen to make some coffee. 

Jamie stood in the doorway watching her. How was it possible for her to be so sexy, just by standing there making coffee?

_I have to touch her_

He couldn't help himself; with one determined stride he was behind her. He swept her hair from her shoulder and let his warm lips trace the lines of her neck and shoulder. His hands swamped her magnificent breasts, then slowly slipped down to find her hips and lovely ass.

Claire dropped the cup she was holding and turned to kiss him, her hands running through his ginger curls. Their lips remained locked as they fumbled their way to the couch. Claire hastily discarded his jacket and kicked her shoes across the room as their hands frantically roamed each other's bodies.

“Oh, god, touch me, Jamie,” she begged breathlessly.

Jamie responded by pulling her back to his mouth and returning his hands to her ass. He squeezed in rhythm to her grinding on top of him, the leather couch squealing beneath them as they moved as one, completely lost in each other.

He felt her hands drop to his waist as she searched frantically for his belt buckle between her legs. Finally, she freed him of the belt and it cracked loudly, as it dropped against the polished wooden floor.

The noise jolted Jamie back to reality, and he stopped. A thousand thoughts attacked him at once. He jumped out from beneath her, leaving her confused and panting on the couch.

“Claire I, um, I have to go,” he stammered, hiding his eyes from hers.

“Wha..? Why? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, God no!” he cried and ran back to her side. He kissed her, before pulling away again. “I’m sae sorry. It's just, oh god, this is sae embarrassing,” he grimaced, rubbing his head in frustration.

“What is it, Jamie? Please, just tell me. Whatever it is, I can take it.” 

He stood silently, not knowing how to say it.

_Just spit it out man_

He gripped the sides of his neck and squeezed so tight, he feared he would pass out. “Weel, the thing is, I’m a virgin.” 

Claire's jaw dropped to the floor. “What?” she cried. She couldn’t help it, a wry smile and little giggle popped out.

Laughter was too much for Jamie’s ego to take. He grabbed his jacket and stormed out with Claire chasing after him in tears.

~~~

It was Monday and Jamie Fraser was thoroughly ashamed of himself. He had abandoned Claire Saturday afternoon and ignored her dozens of calls and texts since. He knew he had acted like a child. The shame burned right to the pit of his stomach, so much so, he had even called in sick to work that morning, unable to face her. 

She shouldn’t have laughed at him, but he should have been big enough to stay and talk things through. Stupid, stubborn pride, may have cost him the best thing that had ever happened to him.

The fact was that the whole virginity thing wasn’t the only reason he had put the brakes on. The main reason hadn’t come to him straight away. He’d been in the shower that night, berating himself for his immaturity, when it hit him. Annalise! 

Jamie had decided to wait for marriage early in his teenage years. He held his Catholic faith close to his heart and it had shaped many of his life choices. But after his accident, his long-held belief in abstaining seemed less relevant.

He wanted to live his life to the fullest, to experience more than his little part of Scotland could offer him. It drove him to seek new experiences in Australia and sex was most definitely one of those experiences. 

He came close to sleeping with Annalise. Their attraction was purely physical and after a few too many drinks on their second date, they headed back to her place. 

Things escalated quickly once inside, and he was preparing to take her on her kitchen bench, when her hands ran up under his shirt and stopped. He would never forget how her body froze as her hands glided over the scarred tissue- the pity and repulsion on her face as she lifted his shirt and peered around his back, or the embarrassment he felt as she slid from underneath him. 

He knew the scarring was bad, but he didn’t expect it to be such a sickening sight to a woman. 

Even while he knew what he had with Claire was special and nothing like the meaningless fling with Annalise, the mere prospect of Claire rejecting him in such a brutal manner was unbearable. 

But it was all irrelevant now. He was convinced of it. He lay in bed, unable to motivate himself to do anything. He had been there since Saturday night. Dougal had checked on him a few times but Jamie was able to fob him off by telling him he had the stomach flu. 

Around midday, he heard Dougal leave for the hospital. He rolled over and buried his face into his pillow and there he stayed, lying in silence, wallowing in self-pity for hours, until his own body odour forced him out of bed and into the shower.

He’d just stepped out when he heard a loud banging on the front door. He quickly wrapped a towel around his waist and threw on a t-shirt. 

Bang! Bang! Bang! Whoever it was, they were not waiting patiently. 

“Aye, I'm comin’, hold yer horses!” he yelled, as he crossed the living room and opened the door. Immediately, a belt came flying at his face which he just managed to duck before it hit him.

“What the bloody hell do you think you're playing at, James Fraser!” screamed Claire, as she pushed past him into the room. “What kind of a thing is that to do to a person, just run out on them like that? Do you honestly think I care that you're a virgin? Do you really think that little of me? And what, now you ignore me? You call in sick from work to avoid me?” Her face was red with fury, her fists clenched so tightly her knuckles were pure white.

“I’m sorry Sassenach, I ken I should have called ye back. I was just sae ashamed and embarrassed. I dinna ken what tae say,” he replied, his heart pounding so hard he feared he would collapse on the spot.

“Don’t call me that you bloody bastard! You have no right to talk to me like that while you treat me this way!”

“Please, forgive me Claire, please. Look, let's just sit and talk aye? And I promise I will tell ye why I reacted the way I did. Please?” he begged.

He slowly moved towards her, conscious of her still clenched fists and not all to sure she wouldn’t punch him right in the face. Ever so lightly, he eased his arms around hers, and held her tightly to him, until he felt the rage slowly release from her body. He sat her on the couch and took a slow, deep breath.

“Claire, I’m sae sorry.As I said, I was so embarrassed to tell ye I was a virgin. Then ye laughed at me, and I just...I couldna take it,” he started.

“I had always planned tae wait till I was married ye ken; t’was something I wanted for me and my wife. I wanted tae give her my whole self, my body and soul.” He took another deep breath in a bid to control his shaking voice. 

“Then a year or so ago, I had an accident when I was rock climbing with Ian. Remember I told ye about Ian? Jenny’s husband?” Claire slowly nodded her head in remembrance.

“Anyway, my back was torn tae shreds, Claire. I was in the hospital for months. I had sae many surgeries and skin grafts, and it left my back, weel disfigured, I guess ye could say.” He shook his head as the painful memories flashed through his mind. “T’was a long and painful recovery, but when I was healed and strong, I came to Australia. That's when I met Annalise.”

Up until that point, Claire had listened intently and hardly moved a muscle. But the moment that name left his lips, she jumped up and ran to the door.

“I knew it! I knew you had feelings for her, I saw the way you were looking at each other at the bar!” she screamed. Jamie ran and grabbed her by the shoulders.

“I dinna care about Annalise, I only care about ye. Please lass, just let me finish.”

Clare took a few deep breaths to steady herself. “Ok, I will listen, but you have to tell me everything Jamie, and let it only be the truth. It has to always be the truth between us from now on. You promise me that, or I’ll leave and not come back.”

“I promise,” he said. “Only the truth.”

They started the conversation as far apart as the couch would allow. Jamie slowly recounted his accident and recovery, his decision to come to Australia and finally his encounter with Annalise. 

Claire’s demeanour changed dramatically throughout. Each revelation drew her closer to Jamie’s side, and by the time the final words left his lips, she was sitting right beside him, holding his hand. 

“I should have spoken tae ye about this on Saturday Claire, I’m truly sorry,” he raised his hand to her face, cradled her cheek and softly kissed her. 

“It’s ok, Jamie, I understand. I’m sorry I reacted the way I did, I’m so sorry I laughed,” she replied, as she nuzzled her face into his hand.

He lifted her face to his, and looked deep into her bonny eyes. His breathing heavied to have her so close again. 

“Claire, I ken we havena known each other for long, but since we’ve met, I've spent my days thinking about ye, and my nights dreaming of ye. When I touch ye, I feel like every last breath has been taken from my lungs.” He kissed her again and his hands dove into her thick curls, their faces now cheek to cheek, he whispered into her ear. 

“I want ye, Claire, I want ye so much I can scarcely breathe,” He sharply pulled her head back and begged, “Will ye have me?” 

“Yes, Jamie. Yes, I will have you.”

The angst and despair of the last few days twisted into a passion neither could have anticipated. Jamie lifted her from the couch and carried her towards his bedroom, kicking open his door with his foot. He dropped her to her feet and let his hands roam her glorious body. She moved to take off his shirt, but feeling a slight flinch of apprehension, she stopped and slipped off her dress instead. She stood before him in her panties almost naked, baring herself to him. 

“God, Claire, ye’re the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” He let his eyes linger on her every curve, every inch of her, trying to imprint her in his memory, not wanting to forget a single detail of this beauty in front of him.

"Have you ever seen a naked woman before?" Claire asked.

"Aye, but not one so close." His face broke into a broad grin. "And not one that's mine.”

Without a word, she pushed him onto the bed and tugged the towel from his waist. His eyes stayed on her, as she perused his long, lean, muscular body.

“I knew those hands weren’t going to be the only _big_ thing I liked about you,” she teased. He wanted to laugh, but her touch left him speechless. He threw his head back and bit his lip as she cupped him in her hand and began massaging his heavy balls. Her fingers slowly spread the full length of his cock and firmly worked it back and forth.

“Christ Claire,” he cried, writhing in pleasure.

He could feel himself tipping towards the point of no return and he didn’t want to finish so soon. He grabbed her by the hips and flipped her onto her back. Holding her arms above her head, he kissed her face, neck, breasts and stomach. He had to taste her. Sensing his intended destination, Claire’s legs splayed open and a desperate cry left her lips.

“Oh god, yes, Jamie please.” 

Jamie bent down and kissed her center through her underwear. Ever so slowly he pulled them down, marveling the soft lines of her beautiful long legs.

He then drove his mouth into her slick, wet folds. His tongue explored her until he found the spot that made her body convulse with pleasure.

_Christ, she tastes so good_

Her hands twisted into his thick curls, pulling then pushing his head deeper inside her. He squeezed her soft beautiful breasts, her nipples rock hard as she moaned in ecstasy.

Feeling her body tensing, Jamie knew he had brought her to the edge and it drove him into a frenzy. He slid two fingers inside her and was ecstatic at the deep throaty grunt it drew. She released her hand from his curls and slammed it onto the bed head. Arching her back, she pushed her hips forward and reached climax crying out his name.

“Jamie, are ye there lad?” yelled Dougal.

“Ifrinn!” cried Jamie. He jumped up, leaving the still breathless Claire shaking, immobile on the bed. “Aye, hang on,” he yelled.

Smiling with pride to see the state he had left her, he covered her with a blanket and tenderly kissed the palm of her hand. He pulled on some pants and slid through the half-open door. 

Dougal was searching for something in the kitchen and seeing Jamie’s dishevelled appearance, he gave him a wicked smile. 

“Ye got a lass in there with ye lad? That’s my boy! I won’t keep ye, just had tae come home for some paperwork and wanted tae check if ye'd left yer room. I see ye havena, but at least ye’re not alone in there now.” He smirked and elbowed Jamie in the ribs. “I’ll leave ye tae it then.” He collected his things from the table and left. 

Glad to see the back of him, Jamie grabbed some water and went back to his room, only to find Claire dressed and sitting on the edge of his bed. 

“Ye’re not leaving are ye Sassenach?” he asked, with a disappointment that couldn’t be disguised. 

“I don’t want to, but I really should get back to the hospital. I was only supposed to be gone a little while. Didn’t quite expect all this,” she smiled as she stood and pointed to the mess they had made of his room.

Jamie quickly picked her and threw her back onto his bed. “No, I’m takin’ ye prisoner; ye’re not going anywhere!” he said, his voice muffled by the positioning of his head firmly in between her breasts.

“I want to stay Jamie, trust me,” she said, laughing and touching his hair. “But it’s only my second week, I can’t just disappear.” Lifting his head with one finger under his chin, she seductively whispered. “You know, I finish at eight. Why don’t you and that heavenly tongue of yours come to my place about ten?“ 

He attempted to make another argument for her to stay, but it was stifled with a kiss. She pushed him from on top of her, gave him a good hard slap on the bum and was out the door before he could protest any further. 

~~~

It was almost a quarter past nine and Claire was still not ready to leave the hospital. She had several emergencies that afternoon and her paperwork had piled up, plus her work rate was not what normally was. 

Her body was still buzzing from her afternoon romp with Jamie and as hard as she tried to concentrate, images of his taut bum kept bursting into her mind. 

She grabbed her phone and sent Jamie a text.

[Claire 21:15] Hi Jamie, I’m still at work, will be a while longer, Can I see you tomorrow instead?

[Jamie 21:17] Ye sick of me already? lol. Och, nae problem lass. Send me a message when ye’re ready tomorrow and I'll come over. 

She put her phone back in her pocket and began her paperwork when it buzzed again.

[Jamie 21:18] What are ye wearing Sassenach?

[Claire 21:18] Haha, the very same thing you took me out of this afternoon. Now leave me alone, I’m very busy and important.

Claire chuckled to herself as she looked at her work.

“What's sae funny?” asked a familiar deep voice right in her ear.

“Dr Mackenzie, just finishing off some paperwork. Did you need something?” she replied, without looking at him and completely ignoring his question.

“Please, call me Dougal,” he said, still far too close for Claire's comfort. She slid her chair away from him but he didn't take the hint and followed 

“Just wondering how ye’re settling in? I ken it's been a difficult start for ye, wha’ wi’ losing the young lad and all.” Even while seemingly trying to be kind to Claire, she couldn’t help but notice his eyes settle on her breasts, or tits, as Mary called them, before looking at her face. 

_Haha, Dr Titsfirst_

“Thank you for your concern, but I’m fine. It's always hard to lose a patient, especially one so young, but I am doing okay, thanks again.”

“Just as long as ye know, I’m here if ye should need me, for anything lass.” He shifted his hand towards Claire's, but she was too quick for him this time. She grabbed her papers, hopped up from her chair, and walked away.

“Yes, thank you, Dr Mackenzie,” she shot back.

Finally home around midnight, the temptation to call Jamie was strong, but her need for sleep was stronger, and she fell asleep on the couch with her phone in her hand.

The buzz of her phone woke her the next morning, still propped up on the couch and a pool drool spilling from her mouth. _Glad Jamie missed see that sight._

[Jamie 08:39] Morning Sassenach, hope ye dinna get home too late. 

[Jamie 08:39] Willna be able tae come over till tonight.

[Jamie 08:40] Been called into work. Finish at 6. Should I pop in then?

[Jamie 08:40] Enjoy yer Sunday.]

Claires lip instantly dropped to a moody pout, as she felt a pang of disappointment. 

[Claire 08:43] Morning. I’m on-call from tonight so we may have to try later in the week. 

[Claire 08:43] Sorry, call me later?

As it happened, Claire and Jamie barely saw each other in the following three weeks. A quick lunch or dinner, and a sneaky kiss or two in an empty hallway were all that they could manage. 

Claire decided it may be a good thing. They were moving very fast and, much as she wanted to be with him, this would be her first relationship since Frank. The wise thing to do would be to take it slow. Plus, it was also kind of fun. Finding enough privacy for a quick dalliance amid the busy hospital was exciting.

Her final day on-call had finally arrived, and Claire was happy to have the next five days off. She was looking forward to a lot of sleep and hopefully, a lot of Jamie. Almost ready to leave, Claire and Mary were sorting out some meds charts in the medication room, when Jamie popped his head in. 

“Afternoon lass,” he smiled.

“G’day Jamie, how ya going? hHad a good day?” asked Mary. 

“Aye, bonnie,” he answered, though looking only at Claire, who stood silently smiling. 

“Did you need something?” Mary asked, pretending to be unsure of why Jamie was still standing in the doorway. 

“Oh, right, ahh, I just needed a quick word wi’ Dr Beauchamp, but ye two finish what ye doing, I can wait.”

Claire completed the checks on night's meds changes, while Jamie stood listening in admiration of her knowledge. Once they'd gone through everything, Mary said goodnight and left, with a huge smile on her face as she passed in between them. 

Jamie scanned the hallway behind him for anyone else, and with the coast clear, he walked in and closed the door behind him. “Ye know Sassenach, when ye talk all yer fancy medical jargon, I must confess, it makes me want tae do indecent things to ye,” he said, moving closer.

“Oh really, like what?” she giggled. 

“Well, I’d start by walkin’ up behind ye...” He grabbed her forcefully by the waist and turned her around,with her back pressing on his growing arousal.“Then, I’ll bend ye over the bench, and push me cock up against ye.” In one rough thrust, he drove her body towards the wall, sending pill jars and patient charts crashing to the floor. His hips drove hard against her as his hand ran up the inside of her quivering thigh. 

Claire arched her back, pushing her ample ass onto his growing erection, forcing both to expel a breathless sigh. 

“Ye are mine, mo chridhe, and I yours,” his words were muffled by her hair as his tongue traced a path from her cheek to neck, while his hand shifted from frantically stroking through her pants, to desperately searching out the zipper. Her growing moans of pleasure only steeled his determination to free her from them immediately. 

Muted voices in the hallway suddenly brought the far from discreet location back into focus. Still, neither could bear the moment to end.

_Please, Please, PLEASE go away_

Jamie continued to pound against her and gave her a quick slap on her ass; she gasped at the sharp sting and gripped the bench so tightly she feared she would rip it from the wall. When his hand finally found it’s way inside her pants and slid underneath her panties, she felt she would come right then and there. Her volume increased, as did the voices outside. Jamie quickly slipped his other hand from her breast to her mouth, in a bid to suppress her moans.

The voices were now right outside the door. It was Mary; she had returned with another nurse, Lizzie. Fortunately, Mary suspected what may be happening behind the closed door, and was delaying entry as long as she could and rattling the door handle a few times in warning.

_No! Damn it_

Jamie whipped Claire around and laid one last, furious kiss. They let out a frustrated groan—and laughing—rushed to make themselves look decent, while improvising a conversation regarding a non-existent patient that Jamie needed to attend. Claire calmly opened the door, and they continued to discuss the 'patient' as the two nurses entered. 

“I'll get on that right away Doctor,” said Jamie. He walked past the two smirking nurses, holding a chart over his crotch to try and hide his still bulging erection. Lizzie grabbed some papers and followed him out, leaving Claire and Mary behind.

“So, you and Jamie hey?” She giggled as she shook Claire's arm excitedly. “God, I don’t blame you, he's so gorgeous. Half the women in here have the hots for him. I guess the address I found for you the other day was right then?” she smirked. 

“Yes, it was, thank you, Mary,” Claire said matter of factly, still fixing the buttons on her shirt while trying to project some kind of professionalism. 

“Are you sure no one can tell you accessed Jamie's HR records? No one saw you getting his address?” she asked with concern.

“Don’t worry Doc, no one saw me, don’t sweat. Your little secrets are safe with me.” She winked and tapped her nose at Claire, grabbed the meds trolley and walked out. 

The mere fact that Mary had brought up the address situation again made Claire feel uneasy. 

In the days following Jamie's sudden disappearance from her flat, Claire had become increasingly distressed at not hearing from him. With her calls and texts unanswered, she turned to Mary to see if she knew his address. She promised Claire she would find it and within the hour she had. 

Claire had no idea that Mary would access his HR records to obtain it. She was well aware that this was a breach of privacy regulations and it wasn’t the start to her career she was after. All she could do now was hope that Mary would keep the secret between the two of them, and besides all that, she was too exhausted to worry about it now. 

With her day done, she left the hospital and had just arrived home when she received a text from Jamie.

[Jamie 20:35] Hey Sassenach, finished work yet?

[Claire 20:36] YES! Wanna come over? Gimme 30 mins.

[Jamie 20:36] YES! Make it 10.

Claire giggled as she crossed her lounge and jumped into the shower. As had become routine in the last few weeks, as soon as the steaming hot water caressed her body, her mind wandered to Jamie. An instant ache swelled in her core on recalling him driving her into the bench from behind.

She tried to focus on washing her hair, but she could feel the sensation of his erection bulging against her ass. As her hand began to drift down to her wet center, she was startled back to reality by a knock at the door.

_God, he really meant ten minutes_

She jumped out, threw her satin robe on and ran to the door. Jamie was waiting with a bunch of roses and the biggest smile she had ever seen. The smile quickly changed to a smolder when he saw her attire. 

“Sassenach, ye look amazing,” he swooned, he dropped the roses on the floor and wrapped his arms around her waist. A fierce and decidedly unvirginal kiss followed, but it didn’t last long. A blob of shampoo dripped from Claires still soaking wet hair, into Jamie's eye, causing him to break the kiss and make the most adorable pouty face Claire had ever seen. 

“Aww, has widdle Jamie got soapy woapy in his eye,” Claire teased, rubbing her eyes with her fists. She grabbed him a towel and wiped his eyes.

“Is that shampoo or sulphuric acid Sassenach,” he joked, still squinting.

“Oh, poor baby. Just let me finish in the shower and I’ll make it all better for you.” she teased.

She got back in the shower, while Jamie sat on the bed, still rubbing his eyes. The bathroom door stood ajar, so even with his eyes squinted, Jamie could see her silhouette through the gap. 

Claire had her eyes shut rinsing her hair, but as soon as they were open, she spotted him watching her. She pushed open the shower door and gave him the come hither finger. He was there in a flash. His pants hit the floor, then the socks, which just left him in his shirt. Claire could see the hesitation in his eyes, but he pushed through the anxiety and slowly removed his shirt. 

He was so breathtaking standing there naked that she let out an audible sigh as she watched him move towards her. Every muscle on his body was perfectly formed. His collarbone, his biceps, his pecs, his stomach, everything was perfection. He was truly the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. He stepped into the shower and they stood face to face. Their eyes roamed every inch of each other's bodies. She could see him shaking, he was clearly nervous, but not nervous enough to stop him from being fully erect by the time his body touched hers.

She grabbed her loofah, covered it in bodywash and lathered it all over the front of his toned body. “Can I wash your back Jamie?” she asked softly. “It's ok, you can trust me.” 

He took a deep breath and simply nodded in response. A single tear ran down his left eye as Claire slowly moved behind him. She kissed him on the shoulder, then gently ran her fingers, then lips, over his mangled back. The damage was truly horrific, much worse than she could ever have imagined. Claire was shocked and emotional, thinking of the absolute agony he must have gone through, but she was determined not to let him see it or feel it. 

She continued her walk around his body, kissing and caressing each and every scarred line. By the time she faced him again, he still had a tear in his eye, but he was smiling.

“Yer lips are magic, Mo Chridhe. I could feel the dead flesh coming back tae life with every kiss. Ye’ve healed me Claire, no’ just my back, but my soul too.” 

Claire pulled him into a kiss, then draped herself over his body. They stood silently, holding each other under the steaming hot water, wanting to stay this way forever. 

Stepping from the shower, they lovingly dried each other's slick wet bodies. Claire pulled Jamie to her bed and there they lay, Jamie spooning her from behind until they fell into a blissful sleep. 

~~~

Jamie woke the next morning, happier than he had felt for, well, forever. He was laying in bed, next to the most beautiful woman in the world. Even as she slept, she was perfect. He lay on his side, his head resting on his hand. She made the most adorable wee grunting sounds in her sleep, not really snores; he couldn't describe them, but they were adorable for sure, a noise he hoped to wake up to for the rest of his life.

She rolled over and opened her eyes, a little startled to find him watching her, but she quickly beamed “Good morning.” He quickly grabbed her and rolled her onto his stomach.

“Good morning Sassenach,” he said as he kissed her neck, then lips. 

“Where did you learn to kiss like that?” she asked breathlessly.

“I said I was a virgin, no’ a monk,” he replied with a wry smile, “Now Sassenach, let's get ye dressed.”

“I was not expecting that,” she laughed while watching his perfect bum slip into his jeans.

He leaned over her and planted a kiss so passionate, Claire thought he would be out of those jeans in two seconds. “As much as I’d love tae stay here all day and devour ye, we have to go. We have an appointment.” he said, slapping her on the thigh.

“An appointment, what, where?” she quizzed. 

“‘Tis a surprise, c’mon up ye get. We’ve enough time fer a quick bite. The uber will be here in twenty minutes,” he replied. 

They hurried to get ready and were just finishing some breakfast when the Uber pulled up. Jamie had given Caire little hints of their destination; he only told her she had to wear jeans and boots. They jumped in the car and headed out of the city. After a 45 minute drive, they made it to the winding roads of the Dandenongs, a beautiful low mountain range just outside of Melbourne. 

“Looks a bit like home up here, hey Sassenach,” Jamie said, slapping her thigh. “I came up here with Rupert when I met him. He worked up here when he first arrived, ye ken.”

They turned off the main road and wound down a long gravely drive, at the end of which was a beautiful farmhouse with white post and rail fences. Horses and foals ran in the paddocks and there were even some wallabies in the distance. 

“It's beautiful Jamie, but what are we doing here?” asked Claire curiously.

“Ye been horse riding before Sassenach?” he smiled 

“What? Really, well yes, but not for years. Are we really going riding? That's brilliant!” Her eyes were bright with anticipation.

Jamie was wrapt to see her so excited; he loved horses and missed working with them terribly. A young woman named Jess met them by the car. Jamie arranged for the Uber driver to return in three hours and they set off to the stables. They were decked out in riding gear and taken to meet their noble steeds, Sleepy and Travis. Jess could see that Jamie was an experienced rider and was happy to leave them to their own devices.

After checking everything was ready, Jamie proceeded to help Claire up on her ride, made sure she was safe, then jumped on his own. Claire was impressed, and a little turned on to see Jamie effortlessly mount his stead and kick it on. 

As they rode, he told her how he had always wanted to work with horses and shared stories of the fun they had back home riding as kids. He loved to talk about Lallybroch with Claire, and he hoped one day she would love it as he did. 

They came through a little clearing and found themselves by a pristine lake. As they got closer to the water, Claire could see a picnic blanket and basket waiting for them. Jamie had arranged the whole thing. He swung his leg forward off the horse and lifted Claire from hers; the surprise on her face was everything he’d hoped.

They sat down and enjoyed their lunch, all of Claire's favorites—bagels, cheese, avocados, strawberries, grapes, and of course, TimTams. 

“Thank you, Jamie, for this. I’ve never had anyone do anything like this for me before. It's so special and romantic. I just, you've really blown me away,” she swooned.

“Aye, t’was nothing, ye deserve it,” he said modestly, rubbing his neck “I really need tae thank ye Sassenach, for last night. It felt sae good to be touched like that, on my back, with no judgement, or embarrassment. I feel, I dunno, lighter, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.” 

“So, you don't mind me seeing your back? Because I’ve got to say, you look pretty damn good without a shirt on,” she laughed. 

“I don’t,” he replied seriously. “Ye seem to have a knack for letting me know ye feel sorry for it without making me feel pitiful about it. It means sae much to me.” 

_You mean so much to me._

He squeezed her hand and kissed her. His heart was so full and happy, he feared it might burst. 

~~~ 

They arrived home from their date exhausted, partly from the riding, and partly from getting very hot and heavy in the back of the car on the way home. Jamie had a short shift at the hospital that night, so she asked him to come over afterwards. The Uber dropped her off and continued to his home. 

She was just putting the key in the door when her phone buzzed.

[Jamie 15:50] Today was amazing. Ye are amazing.

_God he’s adorable_

Smiling from ear to ear, she was just about to text him back when her phone rang. It wasn't Jamie, but an international number.

“Hello, Doctor Beauchamp speaking,” she answered.

“Hello darling, don’t you mean Dr Randall?”

_Fuck! Frank!_

“How the hell did you get this number Frank?” Claire yelled so loud, a passersby jumped.

“Still haven’t refined your manners I see. How are you Claire?” he asked smugly. 

Every fibre in her being told her to hang up, but she resisted the urge; she needed answers.

“What do you want Frank? I haven’t heard from you since the divorce ,and I had hoped to keep it that way. I'll ask again, how did you get my number?” she demanded.

“Well, It’s a funny story really. My lawyer found your number for me. You see, the thing is, my former lawyer got in a bit of legal trouble himself, turns out he wasn’t actually qualified to practice. Anyway...”

“For god’s sake Frank, get to the bloody point!” she interjected.

“Well, darling, the thing is, you really are still Dr Randall. The divorce isn’t legal. We are still married!” 

_Fuck..._


	4. Pineapple & Gin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Frank 15:01] Claire call me!
> 
> [Frank 15:45] Claire, I know you are angry
> 
> [Frank 16:11] For god’s sake, I’m your husband. Do not ignore me
> 
> Jamie's heart dropped,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI All, Thanks for your support of my baby and all the lovely comments. You all know it's first fic and it's so much harder than I thought it would be, so my hats off to all those fic writers out there. I am really enjoying the process and hope to have a new chapter fortnightly. Thanks to my amazing Betas for all your support.   
> I am proud of this chapter and I hope you like it.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Claire stuttered. She knew exactly what he said, but her brain couldn’t process the words it had heard. 

“Isn’t it wonderful darling? I have given it a lot of thought, and I’ve decided to take you back. I really think this is a sign, don’t you?”

“Pfffftttt, HELL NO!” she screamed. She threw her phone so hard it smashed to pieces on the ground. 

“OH FUCK!” She picked up the pieces that lay at her feet and walked the few remaining steps to her door with tears of anger and frustration pouring down her face. She walked in, collapsed on the couch and lay sobbing for what seemed like hours, until she heard knocking on her door. 

_Jamie!_

Her heart leapt into her mouth as she realised, _I never told him about Frank!_

In all the time they had been together, all the long conversations they’d shared about their lives, she had never even mentioned Frank's name to Jamie, not a word, nothing about the marriage or divorce. It wasn’t deliberate. She was just always so consumed with him whenever they were together that bastard Frank had never even entered her mind. _My god, what do I say?_

“Coming!” she yelled. A thousand thoughts whirled through her mind as she made her way to the door. She quickly checked herself in the mirror, pathetically attempted to force a smile then opened the door. “Oh, it’s just you,” she said to Geillis in relief. 

“Well, that’s a bloody lovely greeting, nice tae see ye too!” she chuckled. Her laughter stopped abruptly when she saw Claire's face stained with tears. “What’s wrong Claire?” she asked, hugging her tightly. 

“I’ve ruined everything G.” 

Claire attempted to tell Geillis what happened, but her anguished, heavy sobs made it hard to decipher the words spilling from her mouth. She sat drenching her friend’s shoulder with tears until she again remembered Jamie would soon be on his way over. 

“Can I use your phone, please? Mine’s broken.” She pointed to the shattered remnants on the coffee table and held out her hand, desperately wanting to stop Jamie before he arrived on her doorstep. 

Geillis handed over her phone and sifted through the scraps of Claire’s, shaking her head. “What the hell did ye do tae ye poor phone?” Claire didn't respond, she was too preoccupied with beating herself up for the lie she was about to tell and trying to text, barely able to read what she was writing through her tears.

[Claire 18:30] Hey Jamie, it’s Claire. My phone is broken so I am using Geillis’s. 

[Claire 18:30] She's having issues at home so she’s going to stay here tonight. So sorry. See you tomorrow? I will call you as soon as I get a new phone, Sorry again. 

[Jamie 18:31] That sux. Talk to ye tomorrow. Hope Geillis is ok.

Claire dropped the phone and buried her face into her hands. 

“Claire, please, relax and tell me what's happened. Did someone hurt ye lass?” Geillis asked. 

Claire took a deep, shaky breath and revealed everything, from the sickening call from Frank and their non existent divorce to her feelings for Jamie and her fear that she may have ruined their relationship.

“Fucking Frank,” said Geillis. “That bastard sure seems to know the worst possible time to show up, doesn’t he?” Claire laughed a little and leaned into her friend. 

“You know what else I did?” Claire said, biting her nails. “I laughed at Jamie when he told me he was a virgin.”

“JAMIE’S A VIRGIN?” Geillies squealed. “Ye dinna tell me that! How could he be a virgin? He’s so...” 

“I KNOW!” Claire screamed and slapped Geillis’s arm for added impact. “He’s so hot! And my god, the way he kisses me, ugh, it’s unbelievable! So when he told me, I was just so shocked this little laugh slipped out.” 

She needed Geillis to tell her what to do, to tell her everything would be ok. She waited for her advice; but for possibly the first time in their long friendship, Geillis said nothing. Jamie's seemingly unbelievable virginity revelation seemed to have left her speechless.

“What do I do now?” Claire asked, almost trying to force something out of her. “I have to tell Jamie about Frank, but what do I say when he asks me why I never told him? I have no answers, I have no excuses at all.” She stood and paced the room, wringing her hands as the anxiety continued to build.

“And after I went on this whole damn rant with him about honesty, ‘ _We always have to be honest with each other Jamie_ ’, ‘ _Only the truth between us Jamie,’”_ she said, mocking her own words. “And all the while, I’m the one who’s bloody married!” She felt sick as she thought of her sanctimonious speech and collapsed in a heap onto the couch.

“Well, tae be fair, ye havena actually lied. Ye just dinna tell him...yet. There’s a difference ye ken,” Geillis said, finally offering an opinion.

“I don’t know G. I mean technically, yes, but morally, no. I completely lost it with him over Annalise and I had absolutely no right to. We had just met, but I couldn’t stand the thought of him with someone other than me. I’m such a hypocrite! I couldn’t blame him for being upset with me, for hating me even.”

A desperate gasp of fear escaped her lungs at the mere thought. 

“I really think ye are being too hard on yerself Claire. Ye made a mistake, that's all. Believe it or not, ye’re only human; ye can’t be perfect _all_ the time.”

“But I still should have told him _.” Why didn’t I tell him?_

“He’s so amazing G, and I'm so happy whenever I’m with him. It’s almost like my brain deliberately blocked any memories of my life with Frank so I could stay in this perfect Jamie bubble.”

She threw her body face-first into the couch and sobbed. Claire could feel Geillis gently rubbing on her back soothingly, trying to calm her down, but the pain she was feeling only grew, every touch caused her to sob harder. Geillis seemed to realise her attempt to comfort was just making things worse, so she simply lay down next to her, draped her arm across her back, and cried in sympathy.

Deciding enough was enough, Geillis unexpectedly jumped off the couch and clapped loudly, scaring the very fragile Claire half to death. 

“Rrrright, what ye need right now is our little friend Mr Gin over here,” she said, as she walked to the counter and grabbed a bottle. “Come on, up ye get. I refuse tae let ye lay here and cry over something ye don’t even know will happen.” She poured two very generous glasses of gin and handed one to Claire. 

“What we need is a plan tae deal with Frank, and another for Jamie. I recommend we start with the Jamie plan, as I’m guessing he has a much bigger cock.” 

Despite her tears, Claire couldn't help but burst out laughing. “You really are disgusting you know,” she said as she squeezed her arm tightly.

“Aye, but ye love me anyway.” Geillis slugged her first glass and poured another straight away. “Sláinte.”

~~~

Sunshine bursting through the gaps in her blind woke Claire the next morning. Geillis was lying beside her and between them, an empty bottle of gin and one of wine. With her head pounding, she dragged herself out of bed and made some coffee. 

She woke Geillis up by waving the hot drink under her nose. In one swift movement, Geillis opened her eyes and swiped the cup from Claire’s hand. 

“Why are ye such a bad influence on me Beauchamp?” she grumbled. 

“Ah, that’s Randall, remember?” Claire replied drolly. Geillis chuckled heartily, happy to see her sense of humor had returned. 

“Alright!” Geillis said, stamping her foot and splashing coffee everywhere. “We’ve gotta get our shite together and get this mess sorted.” She grabbed Claire by the arm and dragged her to the bathroom.

“First things first, ye need a shower. Ye look like shite and ye feckin stink like a winery,” she said as she motioned to the empty bottles. “Secondly, we need to get ye a new phone.” 

“Aye, aye Captain,” saluted Claire. She surrendered herself over to Geillis and was subsequently nagged and dragged around the house, all the while feeling thankful that she had her best friend with her when she needed someone most

Getting themselves ready as well as two slight women who had consumed full bottles of gin and wine possibly could, they hit the shops for a phone. Claire was the salesman's dream, taking the first and most expensive phone she was offered, lacking any motivation to try and make a deal or stick to any kind of budget.

New phone in hand, her first call was to Jamie. It went straight to voicemail and she left a short message to call or text her back when he was free. A wave of nausea swept over her and she recognised it immediately as guilt. She was relieved that he didn’t answer, how pathetic and weak of her. She wanted to talk to him and reveal everything about Frank, but she was terrified at the same time. The shame of her cowardice burned deep into the pit of her stomach. _He deserves so much better than this_. 

There was no way she could deal with anymore of this without a serious caffeine hit so they made their way to a nearby cafe and ordered some coffee and a giant chocolate muffin for Geillis.

“Ye should call the solicitor first Claire; it will give some ammunition tae fire back with if Frank decides to play any of his fucked up games wit ye,” Geillis suggested.

Taking her advice, Claire looked over the list of solicitors she found on google while Geillis happily munched away on a muffin. She offered some to Claire but she waved it off, fearing it may make her feel even more nauseous.

The first call Claire made was to a local lawyer named Ned Gowan. He was calm, kind and almost fatherly in his manner. He assured Claire that he could work through the divorce process from here in Melbourne and the whole thing could be finalised without her having to return to the UK. She liked and trusted him instantly and felt she didn’t need to speak to anyone else. He agreed to take her case on and deal with it as soon as he could.

A slight sense of relief allowed her to take what felt like her first full breath that morning and after sculling her coffee in one go, she worked up enough courage to call Frank.

“Hello darling, I’ve been waiting for your call,” he answered. 

Claire shuddered hearing him calling her darling again and wasn’t in the mood to deal with any of his nonsense.“Frank, don’t speak, just let me say this. I have hired a lawyer and he will handle the divorce from here. Don’t contact me again. I've definitely moved on and you should too.”

“Fuck you Frank!” Geillis yelled at the top of her lungs, hoping he heard her before Claire bluntly ended the call. While Frank may not have heard her, the rest of the patrons and staff in the cafe certainly did. Claire mouthed an exaggerated ‘ _sorry’_ to a nearby staring waitress and tried hopelessly to cover her laugh. 

Just knowing that the wheels were in motion, that she would soon be free of Frank -- _again--_ gave her some peace of mind. And besides, she was still far more concerned with Jamie’s reaction to her news than the divorce itself. 

After a second coffee, they slowly walked back to the flat, finding the warm spring breeze a refreshing remedy for their tired, hungover bodies. Once Geillis was convinced that Claire would be ok alone, she left her at her door, and went home to have a nap. 

Claire walked inside and sighed when she saw the state of her house; it was an absolute mess. She begrudgingly grabbed a garbage bag from the kitchen and was about to start cleaning up when she got a message from Jamie. 

[Jamie 12:58] Got yer phone back I see? I will be home by 4. Dougal’s away. Come over when ye can. Door will be open. Can't wait to see ye, Sassenach.xo

Even with all the stresses whirling in her mind, her heart swelled at the adorableness of this giant 6’3 man, adding ‘xo’ at the end of his text. She had to make sure everything would be ok with Jamie. _I can’t lose him_

She had 3 hours till he would be home. She walked into her bedroom, garbage bag in hand, and caught her reflection in the mirror. Like Geillis had said earlier, she looked like shit. Dark circles framed her swollen red eyes, and she was as white as a ghost. Determined not to let Jamie see her like that, she dropped the bag and set her alarm. Snuggling under her fluffy doona, she yawned twice and fell asleep.

~~~

Jamie had decided that with Claire’s consent, tonight was the night he would finally lose his virginity. His close call with Analiese had strengthened his resolve to wait until marriage as he had originally planned, her reactions to his scarred body had shown how superficial and shallow people could be.

But he never planned on meeting someone like Claire, someone he knew looked past all those superficial wants and desires. They shared a connection he never imagined could exist, but it did. He needed to be one with her; body and soul. His heart skipped a beat, thinking of the bolt of electricity that surged through his body every time they touched.

Since their very first meeting, he had thought of how it would feel lying naked next to her, being inside her. His fingers craved the sensation of caressing her warm centre. His body reacted instinctively, just imagining, and he knew he needed to keep his mind busy or he wouldn’t make it through the night.

He was all prepared. Earlier that day he’d been shopping with Rupert who was full of advice, most of which was best for him to ignore. He’d purchased flowers, candles and, of course, condoms; although not the extra small Rupert had so maturely suggested. 

Everything was set. Dougal was away for the weekend so they had the place to themselves. He’d cleaned the whole house top to bottom and spent hours setting up his room. Fresh linens covered the bed and the candles and flowers were positioned and re positioned a hundred times. Everything has to be perfect. _A perfect night, for the perfect lass_

He had never been so nervous, scared or excited in his life. The only thing he could compare it to was the mixture of adrenaline and fear that tore through his body as he careened down that cliff the day of his accident. At this moment, he wasn’t sure what scared him more. The feelings Claire brought out in him were so intense, so passionate and so completely terrifying, he was unsure how to deal with it all. 

He knew there was still a tiny part of him that was scared of rejection. The loving kisses that Claire lavished over his scarred flesh had gone a long way to mend the deep wounds he harboured, but he was still feeling the pressure of his virginity. They had the most incredible chemistry and he wanted so desperately to please her, to be the kind of lover she deserved. 

_What if I'm a disappointment?_

His brain ran over the myriad of possible outcomes until he felt ill. Remembering the only possibly useful advice that Rupert had offered him today, ‘ _Dinna put too much pressure on yerself_ ’ and to ‘ _Try tae enjoy it_ ,’ he decided to finish getting ready and try to relax with a hot shower. 

He found his mind drifting back to Claire’s soft lips and her tender kisses over his back. But reminding himself she was likely on her way, he finished washing and got dressed. After a good old fashioned pep talk in the still fogged up bathroom mirror, he was ready to go. He just needed something to keep his mind busy till Claire arrived. 

All of his planning and preparation for the perfect night flew out the window when Claire suddenly burst into the room and declared, “Jamie, we need to talk.” Her voice was higher than usual and her face carried a heavy expression, but it was quickly replaced by a smile and rapturous laughter, as there he was, sitting on the bed blowing balloons out of the condoms. 

Never more embarrassed in his life, he buried his head in his hands and let out a phony wail, wishing the earth would open and swallow him whole. “You really are the most ridiculous human being,” she laughed. 

He remained seated and red as a beet as she walked to him still laughing and kicked the balloons with her feet. She pushed his legs apart with her knee and stood comfortably between his thighs. 

His hands were magnetically drawn to her waist; to be so close and not touch her was impossible. Looking up into her bright, smiling eyes he felt his embarrassment wane, replaced by desire.

Pulling her to his knee, his long fingers traced the curves of her body; from her graceful neck, he glided down, circling her breasts and stomach, flowing onto her hip and thighs. As her breathing escalated at his touch, his heart rate accelerated and a tight ball formed in his throat. Before he realised what he was doing, the words fell from his mouth.

“I know we haven’t known each other for long Sassenach,” he said, placing her hand over his racing heart, his whole body now trembled, while his voice cracked awkwardly, “But, I lo--”

“Jamie, I...I ,” she stuttered. “I have to...go to the bathroom!” She jumped off his lap and ran into the ensuite, leaving him slightly bewildered and immensely regretful. He was so angry at himself. He knew it was too soon, but looking into her eyes, it just felt so natural, so right. 

_Ye’ve scared her off Fraser_

He rolled onto his stomach and buried his head into the pillows, punching them over and over again. ‘BZZZ...BZZZ’. A sudden vibration ceased his assault on the bed. Without lifting his head, he reached under his chest and found Claire’s phone; it must have fallen from her pocket when she was on his lap. The screen came to life on his touch and he couldn’t help but read the notifications.

_[Frank 15:01] Claire call me!_

_[Frank 15:45] Claire, I know you are angry_

_[Frank 16:11] For god’s sake, I’m your husband. Do not ignore me_

Jamie's heart dropped, as did the phone from his tightly clenched hand. It fell back to the bed where it had lay just seconds ago, before his world had stopped. He sat deathly still, unable to contemplate what he had just seen. Without a word, he rose to his feet, grabbed his keys and left. 

~~~

Claire stood shaking in the bathroom. _He loves me. He was going to tell me he loves me._

The joy she felt upon almost hearing those three words pass his lips, was instantly destroyed by the memory of Frank. Tears began to well in her eyes, but she fought hard to draw them back in. She had to tell him now. She couldn’t control how he took the news, but she could control how it was delivered, and she was determined to be calm and rational. 

Returning to Jamie, she found the room empty. She walked out into the kitchen, then the lounge, and there was no sight of him anywhere. Retracing her steps, she called out, “Jamie, where are you?” With no response, she was about to return to his room when she noticed the front door was wide open; she peeked outside and called him again, her voice audibly shaken and still, no Jamie. 

Panic began to set in; she ran back to his room and spotted her phone on the bed. As she drew closer, it beeped and Frank’s name flashed on the screen. She saw all the notifications and vomit rose to her lips. 

Ignoring Frank's messages, she called Jamie’s phone over and over again, but it rang out every time. _Jamie, please answer._ By the sixth attempt, it went straight to voicemail.

Running from the house, she made her way down the street calling his name. She awkwardly tripped and fell on the cracked concrete. Sitting on her hands and knees crying, she tried to think clearly, _What do I do now? S_ he almost jumped out of her skin when her phone began to ring; it was Geillis, how did she always know the right time to call?

“Geillis, Jamie knows! He saw messages from Frank on my phone, and he left. I don’t know where he is, what do I do?” Breathing so rapidly and crying, her lips began to tingle and she felt dizzy; she knew she was beginning to hyperventilate, and Geillis could hear it too. 

“I need ye to breathe Claire, just breathe. We will sort this out. Now where are ye? I’m at the hospital, but I’ll leave now. Where are ye, Claire?”

Claire made a conscious effort to slow her breathing. “I have no bloody idea where I am,” she replied . She had run blindly from the house and had paid no attention to where she was running too. Glancing up to her left, she could see a street sign. “Royal parade. I’m on Royal Parade, in front of number five. Please hurry G.”

She remained slumped over on the footpath, crying over both Jamie and the pain from her quickly swelling ankle until Geillis finally pulled up in front of her. 

As soon as she sat inside and saw her friend's smiling face, her breathing regulated and a sense of calm began to wash over her, Geillis would make everything ok.

“Who’s car is this?” she asked as she put her seat belt on, knowing Geillis didn’t own one. 

“It's Lizzie’s, she was with me when I called ye, and she let me borrow it. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell her anything.” She patted Claire on the leg and drove away. “Now, let’s just drive for a while and figure out what we are going tae do.” 

Claire sat in silence for the most part, except for an occasional teary sniffle or yes and no answer. Geillis had decided to try and get a hold of Rupert; he knew Jamie best and would be the person to consult for advice.

They made the short trip to Rupert's home and pulled into the driveway. The first thing they saw was Jamie, standing beside Rupert at the front door. As soon as he saw Claire in the car, he took off down the street. Claire jumped out and chased after him, limping and begging for him to stop. 

“Jamie, please listen, I can explain everything,” she cried. “I know you’re angry, just stop, please.” Something she said stopped him dead in his tracks.

“Angry? I’m not angry Claire,” he said. He turned to look at her, tears ran down his red cheeks. He moved right into her face, looking directly into her sad eyes.

“I’m a fool Claire. I’ve fallen so hard for ye. I would do anything for ye lass, I would sell my soul for ye, just to be with ye.” He wiped his tears away and grabbed her by the arm. “You asked me to tell you the truth that day, remember? When I told you about my back and my virginity, that day ye laughed at me.” 

Claire was struck but the bitterness of his words, ‘you laughed at me’. He’d never mentioned it since , but it had obviously hurt him more than he let on. 

“You said it has to always be the truth between us, but you don’t have the guts tae be honest with me, tae tell me that ye’re married. I just don’t understand it Claire. I thought I knew you, but I don’t at all, do I?” 

“But you do Jamie, I have told you more about myself in the time I’ve known you than I have ever told anybody. You do know me, it’s just this one little thing.”

“Little thing! Little thing! Ye’re bloody married Claire! It’s not like you didna tell me ye like pineapple on yer pizza!” Now, he was angry. He threw her arm away in disgust, turned and punched an old elm tree on the nature strip so hard it shook. 

Claire recoiled and gasped with each strike on the trunk. Jamie didn’t notice her reaction until the last blow and even in the heat of anger, he couldn’t bear the thought of frightening her. 

He stepped towards her and took her hands in his. He took several deep, slow breaths to calm down. Claire stayed perfectly still, bar the shaking of her hands, not knowing what to say for fear of making things worse. 

“Please Claire, just give me some space. I canna talk tae ye like this. I will call ye when I’m ready.” And with that, he dropped her hands and walked away. 

Every step he took, every millimetre more between them, felt like a dagger tearing through her heart. She watched, waiting for him to look back to her, but he didn’t. He turned the corner and was out of sight. Claire limped back to the car, slumped into the seat and fell to pieces. 

Geillis, who had been standing next to Rupert watching the scene unfold, gave him a pat on the back and joined her. She gave her a quick cuddle, then backed out of the driveway. They drove home in silence, Claire staring out of the window the whole way, hoping to see Jamie and again beg him to listen and forgive her. 

As soon as they walked into the flat, Geillis made them both some tea and grabbed an ice pack for Claire's ankle.

“What did Rupert say? Does he hate me too?” Claire sobbed, almost choking on the bile that persistently rose in her throat.

“He doesn’t hate ye, Claire, and neither does Jamie. I gave him a quick rundown of the situation, and he was very understanding. I think Jamie will be too once the dust settles. Ye just have tae wait for him tae be ready.” Claire placed the ice pack on her swollen foot, while Geillis rubbed her back with one hand, and wiped her tears away with the other. 

“He loves ye Claire, blind Freddy can see that. He will forgive ye, lass, I’m sure of it.” 

“I love him too, G. I know it’s happened so fast it’s crazy, but when he touches me, it’s the most powerful thing I’ve ever felt. There’s something deep inside me that knows him, and needs him. I feel like I've been dreaming of him my whole life. What if I lose him?” 

The roller coaster of emotions and pain became too much and she was no longer able to swallow the bile down. She ran into the bathroom and violently vomited again and again. Crouching next to the toilet crying, she had never felt more miserable and desolate. _I'm so sorry Jamie_

Geillis came to her side and helped her to her feet. Wiping clean Claire's face and hands, she fought hard to hold back her own tears. “Ye need to go tae bed mo ghràidh. Please, try and rest, for me”. She wiped the hair that clung stubbornly to her friends face and led her to bed. Claire was utterly exhausted and followed her request with no reply. Geillis sweetly fluffed her pillows, tucked her in tightly and lay down, holding Claire’s hand as she cried herself to sleep.

~~~

Jamie tossed and turned in bed. It was four am and he had not a wink of sleep all night. He felt he was being ripped apart at the seams and had no idea what to do to pull himself back together. _She’s married; how could she be married and not tell me?_

He truly believed he knew her, and maybe he did. Maybe she was right this afternoon; it was just this _one_ thing she hadn’t told him. But how could she just forget to tell him? She had revealed so much about her past over many different conversations; how could a whole chunk of her life be excluded without it being a deliberate deception? 

Could she be ashamed of being divorced so young? Or maybe she was unfaithful in the marriage and couldn’t bear to confess her adultery? 

He felt sick as one particular thought crossed his mind; perhaps he was a violent man and she was too traumatised to talk about it. Now, he had gone and treated her like this, yelled in her face and frighted her by punching that damn tree. He would never forgive himself if this was the case.

His mind was being torn in two, as was his heart. He picked up his phone to call her but stopped. He needed to give himself and her more time. He dropped his phone and lay back in his bed. He tried to sleep, but every time he closed his eyes, he heard her gut-wrenching cry as he walked away from her. 

Unable to stay in bed any more he got out, threw on his sneakers and went for a run. It was still dark outside but that suited him fine; his tears wouldn’t be visible to any passersby this way. 

He was on his third kilometre when his phone rang. It was Jenny. He really couldn’t deal with her right now so just let it ring out, but she called again immediately. “Yes Jenny, do ye know what time it is here?”

“Jamie it’s Da! 

~~~~

  
  
  
  



	5. A Plea for Forgiveness.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She felt a determination build inside her.  
> They belonged together, she had no doubt over that and she wasn’t going to give up.  
> No matter how scared she felt right now, she had to pray for the strength to carry on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Thank you so much for all your lovely comments on chapter 4.  
> Sorry for the delay, we are a week behind posting but life just got in the way.  
> This is a long, but important chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

A Plea for Forgiveness.

“Da’s had a stroke, we’re on our way tae the hospital. Ye have to come home Jamie! Please come home!” He’d never heard his sister like this, and it terrified him. 

His light jog became a full out sprint as he rushed to make it home and ready himself to get back to Scotland. While he ran, Jenny provided a full rundown on their da’s condition, only hanging up once they had reached the hospital. “We’re here Jamie, I have tae go, but I’ll call ye as soon as I can.” 

Jamie’s heart pounded and his legs burned like fire as he turned the corner into his street and made it to his house, jumping over the lush garden hedge and running straight inside.

While looking for a flight on his phone, he raced through the house, grabbing all the essentials and tossing them into a bag. A direct flight to Edinburgh was leaving in just under three hours, and he was able to book one of the last available seats. _Three hours. I need tae leave now!_

Not even thinking to change from his running gear, he grabbed his passport and was set to go. He contemplated booking an uber but remembered Dougal had left his car at home. He still hadn’t sat for his Australian license, but he didn’t care, he was taking that car. 

Racing down the freeway, weaving in and out through traffic, he called Dougal and shared the terrible news. He could hear the shock in Dougal’s voice and was appreciative of his offer to sort out some leave for him from work, and for his understanding when he told him that he ‘borrowed’ his car. 

“That’s the least of yer worries, lad. Just let me know where ye park, and I will pick it up when I fly home. It’s rather convenient for me actually; I dinna need to get a cab now.” Jamie promised to do so and thanked his uncle for his kindness. “Just get over there and look after Jenny. Brian has the heart of a mighty highlander; he’ll pull through, son.”

Praying his uncle was right, he turned off the freeway and pulled into the temporary car park, making sure to note the lot and space number for Dougal. He’d made it to the airport just in time and once he had checked in and cleared customs, he found he had a few moments to sit down and breathe; something he felt he hadn’t done properly since yesterday. 

As soon as he sat and rested his head against the wall, his brain was flooded with all the worries and concerns he had been suppressing since receiving Jenny’s call. One thought in particular kept popping back up over and over again. _What if I don’t make it on time?_

Gripping his phone tightly in his hands and knocking it repeatedly against his head, all he wanted to do was talk to Claire, only she could ease his pain. She would probably be up by now, readying herself for her day. Picturing her in her cosy flat making coffee and enjoying breakfast made him feel instantly calmer. At that moment, he didn’t care if she was married or single, she could have two heads for all he cared; he just needed her. 

He scrolled through his contacts until he saw her beautiful face on his screen. His finger hovered over her name but something stopped him from calling. He wasn’t sure what it was—pride, ego or the anger still boiling just below the surface—but as much as his heart urged him to call her, he couldn’t do it. 

His phone suddenly rang and snapped him back to his more immediate and pressing concern of his da. He had to focus on him now; Claire would have to wait. 

The ringing stopped, but only for a heartbeat before it rang again, demanding his attention. It was Rupert. _Shite, the furniture!_

Last week, Rupert had asked him to help move some furniture for Geillis today. In all the panic and rush of the morning, he had completely forgotten all about it. “Where the feck are ye?” was the greeting he received, “Geillis will kill me if we dinna get there soon.”

Jamie filled him in on what was happening, causing Rupert to apologise profusely for having a crack about him not being home. 

“Dinna fash, Rupert, but can I ask ye for a favour?” Jamie asked. “Can ye keep the news to yerself as long as ye can? I ken Claire will call ye when she doesna hear from me, but I need more time. Just let her know I will call her in a few days.”

“Are ye sure, Jamie? I really think ye need tae talk wit her; it would ease yer mind, would it not?” Rupert asked with concern. 

“Aye, ye may be right,” Jamie pondered, “But I canna do it yet. Maybe when I get home and settle down. Just please, dinna tell her anything if ye see her, please,” he begged.

The announcement for his flight rang out overhead. “I have tae go, Rupert. They’re calling my flight, but I’ll let ye know what's happening as soon as I can.” He put the phone down on the seat beside him, gathered his things and heading to the gates. 

Beside him walked a young couple, making their way to the flight looking excited, happy, and in love. Jamie was consumed with envy. A deep bitterness swept over him as they shared a sweet and tender kiss. _I should be getting on that plane with Claire_. 

Taking her home to meet his family was something he'd wanted to do since the day they met, and it tore him apart that she wasn’t there. Glancing back over his shoulder, his one desire was to see her behind him, reaching her hand out to take his, laughing as she tried to keep up with his giant strides. 

A sickening thought struck him as he walked on board the plane, stopping him dead in his tracks: _what if I never see her again?_

He shook it off, he had to. The stewards ushered him along the aisle to his seat, keen to get everyone seated and ready to go. Reaching up, he placed his bag in the overhead compartment and helped several others do the same, a frequent job for someone his height. 

Taking his seat, he warmly greeted the elderly lady already in the middle seat. Somehow he had managed to get a window seat and excused himself as he squeezed his bulky frame past her, suddenly becoming aware he was in a t-shirt and very short running shorts. 

He hated flying and nervously sat listening to every noise the wings, wheels, and engines made as the plane sped down the runway and soared into the sky. Little did he realise, the perfect distraction was ready and raring for a chat, sitting right next to him. 

Within two minutes of the plane taking off, Jamie had learnt the name, place of residence, and number of grandchildren of Marge, his neighbour in the middle seat. She was travelling to Scotland to visit her daughter, who had married a Scot named Gordon, and their five kids. Within ten minutes, he could name them all: Angus, William, John, Grace, and Tabitha or Tabbi, as she preferred to be called. 

After talking almost non-stop for the first hour of the flight and mentioning her preference for window seats several times, Jamie took the less than subtle hint and offered to trade seats with her. 

“Why, thank you, Jamie,” she said, patting his arm. She must have liked what she felt as she added a little squeeze on his bicep and an accompanying “Ooh.” 

In truth, Jamie was pleased to have a chatty companion. It allowed his mind to be consumed by something other than the painful thoughts of his da and Claire. It was a relief he welcomed, despite the tediousness of her conversation.

Marge was on her fifth straight story of her daughter’s proposal and subsequent wedding story, and whether she became aware of Jamie’s increasing fidgeting or noticed his eyes beginning to glaze over, she changed tact and actually asked a question about him. “And what about you, Jamie? Why are you travelling? Are you returning home after a holiday?” 

The respite from his thoughts was over and Jamie’s brow furrowed, deciding whether to reveal the truth behind his trip or make up an easier topic to discuss with a total stranger. It was just not in him to lie, as much as he wanted to, and told her the reveal the story behind his flight home. 

Marge's hand returned quickly and unnecessarily to Jamie’s bicep as he told her of his troubles with his da. As he talked to Marge, something unexpected happened. His mind and heart began to feel lighter. There was something about talking to her that he found comfort in; maybe it was the grandma vibe that oozed from her cable knit cardigan and baggy pantyhose, but he found himself revealing far more than he had planned. 

Before he knew it, he had even shared his heartbreak over Claire. Marge listened carefully as Jamie talked about their meeting; how quickly he had fallen for her, the fun they had on their horse riding and lunch dates, and, finally, his anguish over her secret husband. 

Remembering and sharing the stories Claire had shared with him of her childhood, he spoke of the loneliness she described feeling throughout her adolescence. As he spoke, he came to the realisation that there were likely many reasons why she didn't reveal the marriage. He still found it deceitful, but forgiveness wasn't as black and white as he had first thought. 

“She's clearly been hurt by this Frank fellow. Maybe that was why she moved to Melbourne. She was running from Frank and her past.” Marge turned and took Jamie's hand, patting it gently. “Take it from a wise old soul. True love is never easy, Jamie. There will always be barriers and hurdles to overcome. If you feel as strongly as you say you do, that is a rare thing. You need to fight for her.”

Their discussion was interrupted by the flight attendant bringing out their meals. Jamie hadn’t realised they had been talking for hours, and although he had truly needed it, he was happy for the break.

Deciding it was time to message Jenny and let her know he was okay, he reached into his pockets for his phone, but found them empty. He fished around in his seat, then stood and checked his bag; still, he couldn't find his phone. Taking his seat again, he tried to think of the last time he had used it. _Rupert!_ He slapped himself on the forehead when he remembered he had put it on the chair next to him when gathering his things. 

“What’s wrong, darling? Lost something?” Marge asked, looking at him with brows furrowed. “Aye. ‘Tis my phone. I’ve gone and left it at the airport, and I really need to message my sister. She’ll be beside herself if I canna touch base wit her.”

“Here, use mine,” Marge said, reaching into her bag and handing her phone to Jamie. 

He quickly sent a message to Jenny and was tempted to send one to Claire, too. He sat for a moment but couldn’t think of what to say and decided against it. He needed to talk to her, a message wouldn’t cut it. 

Thanking Marge for her kindness, he returned her phone and for the first time in the whole flight, they sat in almost complete silence, eating their worse than average meals and washing them down with a few “sneaky whiskies” as Marge had called them. 

After dinner, Jamie’s new confidant fell asleep, leaving him alone in his thoughts for the first time. He knew this funny old lady was right; something happened in that marriage and whatever it was, it hurt Claire deeply. She was in pain, and he had walked away from her. 

Jamie knew his scars were clearly visible to the world; it seemed Claire had been carrying hers deep inside. Her compassion, tenderness, and affection had begun to heal his emotional wounds. Maybe this time, he would be the one to heal hers. 

~~~

The rest of the flight passed as slowly as fifteen hours ever had. Jamie had tried desperately to sleep, but just wasn’t able too. He paced up and down the aisle and enjoyed a good chat with the flight attendants about football and the best local eateries in Melbourne and Edinburgh while the majority of passengers slept.

Descending into Edinburgh, he felt his worries begin to build again. Each meter they dropped seemed to increase the stress he felt, and by the time they landed, any relief he had found in his confessions with Marge had disappeared. 

Jamie stood crouching and removed his and Marge’s bags from the overhead compartment. She hugged him tightly, for an uncomfortably long time, and bid him farewell. “If things didn’t work out with Claire, look me up in Melbourne,” she said with a cheeky wink. 

Exhausted and sore from squishing his large frame into the small seat for twenty hours, he stretched as he departed the plane and headed down the gangway.

Ian was the first face he saw as he walked through the gates and a relieved smile appeared over Jamie’s face as they embraced. “It’s good tae see ye, Jamie; pity it’s under these circumstances.” 

Jamie could see the stress and tension in Ian's eyes and was almost afraid to ask about his da. He swallowed the emotion threatening to bubble to the surface, took a deep breath and spat it out. “How is he, Ian? Is he still… well, is he still da?” 

Ian gave him a reassuring squeeze and pat on the shoulder as they set off, walking through the busy terminal. “Aye, he is, Jamie. He actually smiled today when young Jamie said hello to him. It’s not much, but it's a start. We have a long way to go, but he has improved, even since last night.” 

Jamie's walking pace had slowed to a halt as he listened. He rested his face in his hand, relieved to hear a little good news and overcome with the emotion of it all. “C’mon, let's get ye tae the hospital tae see him,” said Ian.

After a brief panic from Ian, forgetting where he had parked in the massive airport car park, then weaving through the busy traffic, they finally made it onto the motorway and raced towards the hospital. They sat in silence for quite some time with Jamie being unable or unwilling to make any conversation. His tortured mind was far too consumed with conjured images of his da suffering the stroke, peppered with the sound of Claire's gut wrenching cry as he walked away from her just forty-eight hours ago. 

He sat shielding his face with his hand, his tired eyes unable to tolerate the sunlight streaming through the window. Blinking repeatedly, he attempted to hold back the tears threatening to burst free again.

“I was sae relieved when ye walked out through the gates,” Ian said, breaking the silence. “I canna believe ye left yer phone in Melbourne. Jenny was a mess when she couldn’t reach ye.” 

Guilt struck Jamie like a slap to the face, thinking he had added to the stress that Jenny was already under.

“Sorry for worrying ye both. I still canna believe I did it myself,” he said, forcing a smile. “I kept reaching for the damn thing the whole flight, too. I was sae grateful tae the woman sitting next tae me for letting me use her phone. I’ll pop into town and get a new one as soon as I can.” 

Ian continued chatting, filling him in on the latest escapades of the kids, complaining about the weather and the shocking state of the local roads. 

Jamie tried to be invested in the conversation, but the combination of the winding hills, fatigue from his sleepless night in Melbourne and the long flight finally caught up with him. He fell into a desperately needed sleep, but even there he found no peace. 

As she often did, Claire followed Jamie into his slumber. But unlike his normal dreams, filled with lust and passion, it was not Jamie holding her close to him, but another man. 

_His face was hidden behind her voluminous curls. Jamie tried desperately to move to a position where he could clearly see him, but the man would spin away each time he got close. Again and again, he tried to catch a glimpse, but it was in vain, the man remained faceless._

_Claire’s face, however, was clearly visible and beautiful as always. She was smiling and laughing, holding this mystery man tightly and kissing him, just as she had done with Jamie days earlier. She led the man to her bed and her dress dropped to the floor. Now sitting astride him, she tore off his clothes and began lavishing his body with her tongue. Jamie tried to call out to her, screaming to tell her to stop, but no words left his lips. It was helpless. No matter what he did, he was trapped, being forced to watch him take her_ , _and it felt like torture_. 

Jamie told himself to wake up, but he couldn’t. The dream went on and on continuing for what seemed like an eternity, until finally, Ian woke him as they arrived at the hospital. One nightmare had ended but another was still waiting. 

They pulled into a car space, but Ian didn't turn off the car or move from his seat. “Are ye okay, Jamie? I could hear ye crying in yer sleep, lad. Do ye need tae have more rest before we go in? I can take ye home first if ye need.” Jamie wouldn’t hear of it. He hadn’t come all this way just to sleep, he needed to see his da now.

They walked into the busy hospital and Jamie ducked into the first bathrooms they passed. Looking in the mirror, he could see why Ian was so concerned about him; he was ghostly pale and had heavy, dark circles forming under his eyes. He splashed the freezing cold water over his face and slumped over the sink. _Get it together, man._

Rejoining his brother-in-law, who gave him a sturdy, encouraging slap on the back, they made their way to Brian’s ward. They were greeted by a tearful yet smiling Jenny, who came running out of Brian's room after instantly recognising Jamie's deep voice echoing down the hallway. 

“Thank god ye’re here, Jamie,” she cried. She threw her arms around her brother and they stood, holding each other crying. “Can I see him please, Jenny?” he asked quietly. 

“Aye, but be prepared, Jamie, he looks terrible. I dinna want ye tae get a fright.” 

Jenny led him into the room and even with the warning he had been given, Jamie was still shocked at the sight before him. There lay his precious da, covered in leads and monitors, his eyes closed and his body lifeless. Jenny stood beside him, reaching up to hug the back of her giant ‘little’ brother.

“He had a breathing tube in at first, but they took it out last night,” she explained, as Jamie tucked her in under his arm. “Then this morning, he opened his eyes for a bit, and smiled at wee Jamie. He has not been awake since but he’s breathing a lot better and he's looking stronger already, aren’t ye, da?” she said, directing her gaze to her father.

Jamie released Jenny from his arm and cautiously edged closer to the bed. To see the man he so admired, worshipped even, vulnerable and weak, fractured his heart a little more with each step he took. 

He gently sat on the bed and took the once strong hand of his da into his. He lay with his head on the bed and the tears flowed freely. Jenny attempted to comfort him by gently rubbing his back just like their ma used to do with them as kids. Jamie felt his mind and body relax to the familiar and soothing pattern, and his sobs eased.

An eerie silence fell over the room. Even the normally busy ward was peaceful and quiet. Jamie remained seated on the bed, holding Brian's hand, while Jenny snuggled into Ian’s lap on the only chair in the room. 

Mrs. Crook, Jenny and Ian’s neighbour, had picked the kids up earlier, so the three sat quietly, contemplating what was before them.

Suddenly, Jamie jumped off the bed and turned to his sister, a massive smile of surprise on his face. “He squeezed my hand! He squeezed my hand!”

“Are ye sure?” cried Jenny, as she ran to his side. 

“Aye, it was gentle, but it was a squeeze for sure.” He kissed Brian's hand and wrapped his free arm around Jenny. 

“He can hear us, Jenny, I’m sure of it. Ye’re going tae be alright da, I promise.” Brother and sister embraced in the hope and Jamie sweetly kissed Jenny on the forehead. _Everything is going to be alright._

~~~~

Brian’s condition improved greatly over the next few days, overcoming a significant hurdle almost every day. They were small steps to begin with—opening his eyes and keeping them open for longer, blinking or squeezing a hand in response to his children’s voices, even taking in small amounts of food and water. 

He had also attempted to talk by softly calling his son to his side. Jamie had never been so happy to hear his name. He leaned over and kissed his beloved da on the cheek. “Aye, ‘tis me, da,” he cried.

Each step and achievement was celebrated, and by the middle of Jamie’s second week in Scotland, Brian managed to speak for longer periods and converse almost like normal. He remained bedridden however, still unable to sit upright without getting a headache or feeling dizzy. 

It was a cold, miserable autumn day and Jamie was sitting near the bed, reading the newspaper aloud to his father. He had been at the hospital all day when Brian motioned for him to come closer. Jamie leaned in towards him and Brian rested his hand on Jamie's cheek.

“Claire, where is Claire?” he croaked. Jamie winced, hearing her name for the first time in weeks; it felt like an old wound being torn open all over again. “She’s still in Melbourne, da. She may not know I’m here actually. We had a fight and I came here before we could make amends.” A giant tear ran from his eye and dripped down onto the crisp hospital sheets. 

“Why?” Brian asked before coughing. 

“Why did we fight?” guessed Jamie. Brian nodded in reply, the stubborn tickle in his throat not allowing a verbal response. 

“Well, it turns out she’s married. I dinna ken why, but she never told me about it. Not in all the times we were together, all the conversations we shared about home, our childhoods, not a word. I only found out when I did because the bastard sent her a message and I saw it before she did.” 

Struggling to maintain his composure, he took a deep breath and wiped the tears from his eyes. _Christ, I canna stop crying._ “I got a call from Jenny about yer stroke before we could sort things out, and I havena spoken tae her since I left. I dinna ken what tae do, da.”

Brian squeezed his hand tightly; even though he was so unwell, his son was all that mattered in that moment. “Call her Jamie. I can see you love her. Call her.” His words were followed by a frightening flurry of coughs he seemed unable to control. 

Jamie poured some fresh water and held it to his da’s lips. “Have a drink; it’ll help settle yer cough.” After a few small sips and with encouragement from his son to rest, Brian was asleep, exhausted by just the short conversation. 

After months apart, first while Jamie himself was in the hospital and rehab, and now that he was living on the other side of the world, his da still knew him so well. He wanted to talk to Claire. He missed her terribly and needed to know the truth, but he still wasn’t sure if he was ready to make the call. There was something stopping him, and he wasn’t sure what it was. 

Quietly moving from the bed, Jamie stood to walk out and was surprised to see Jenny, arms crossed and looking unimpressed, listening at the door. He knew what that face and body language meant. 

He had filled Jenny and Ian in on his relationship status with Claire when he first arrived. Jenny had made her feelings quite clear; she was glad Jamie was in Scotland and far away from her drama. As far as she was concerned, once a liar, always a liar. 

“Yer not calling her, are ye? She’ll only hurt ye, Jamie. Ye canna trust her, ye know that,” she hissed. 

“Leave it, Janet.” 

Pushing past her, with nothing more to say, Jamie walked outside and stood in the pouring rain, enjoying the almost refreshing feeling of the cold rain drops splashing against his skin. He could do this for hours, just letting the rain wash away his worries.

Walking slowly through the gardens, he thought of his call with Rupert during his first week at Lallybroch. Jamie couldn’t help but ask if he had seen or heard from Claire, and in an unusually sombre tone for the normally jovial Scot, he revealed that he had indeed seen and spoken to Claire. 

Clearly heartbroken, she had called him several times a day and despite his promise to Jamie, she wore him down eventually until he felt he had to reveal Brian's stroke and Jamie’s subsequent rush home to be by his side. 

“I couldna take it, Jamie, she was sae frightened and persistent. We ended up having a good chat, and she told me all about the situation with this Frank fella. I must say, he sounds like a complete ass. She’s a cracking lass, Jamie. I’m sure once ye can talk things through, ye will find it in yer heart tae forgive her.”

Rupert’s words had played over and over again in his mind since the call. _Ye’ll find it in yer heart tae forgive her._ His brain had been working overtime all week to overrule his heart. One moment he would be resolute in his decision that no matter what Claire said or did, he could never forgive her. The next, he would see a lass with dark brown curls like hers and he would see her beautiful face and soft lips, and his anger would melt away in seconds.

But right now, walking through the gardens, he knew his truth. He’d forgiven Claire for everything she had done and everything she ever could do, long before that day. For him, there was no choice, that was falling in love. 

Whatever Scottish sunlight had been able to sneak through the heavy clouds had well and truly disappeared. It was dark and cold and the rain was becoming heavier, forcing Jamie back into the hospital. 

Brian was still sleeping, and he felt comfortable with leaving him now Jenny was here. He let her know he was going home to rest and help out with the kids‘ dinner; he had promised to make ‘Aussie’ hamburgers with wee Jamie, who was fascinated when he heard they ate them there with pineapple and beetroot on top. 

Once back at Lallybroch, he was pleased to find Ian had already started cooking and his presence wasn’t required. He went straight upstairs and into his parent’s room to rest, needing to feel their presence and comfort more than ever. 

The memories of his childhood were everywhere he looked. He could see his ma, sitting by the fire knitting, and his da opposite her, enjoying a whisky and reading the paper. 

He sat on the bed and looked out the window. The beautiful farmland and the tower that Lallybroch was named after were always a beautiful sight to him. But it was not what he wanted to see right now, he wanted to see Claire. His heart was heavy with longing for her, and he missed her with every fibre of his being. 

A loud tap on the door snapped him from his Claire-filled day dream. Jamie lay down and rolled to his side and found Ian, smiling in the hall with baby Maggie cooing in his arms.

“Doing a wee bit of reminiscing, hey?” He walked into the room, stopping just beside the bed. “Jenny comes in often when she needs time tae think.” Ian stood beside the bed and Jamie leaned over to tickle Maggie's chubby little feet, drawing a cute chuckle that lightened his heavy heart. 

“Are ye doing okay, Jamie?” Ian asked. “I ken it’s been a long and rough week for ye.."

“Aye, for all of us,” replied Jamie. He sat up and took Maggie from Ian, holding her in his arms and giving a little bop with his finger on her cute button nose. His eyes followed her wee finger as she pointed towards the window and around the room. “I still canna believe ye never took the laird’s room. It’s rightfully yers, ye ken.”

“Och, Jenny just never felt right about it. There are too many memories of yer ma, and besides, yer da shouldna have to give up his room for us. Even though he’s offered, it never felt right.” Maggie decided she’d had enough of Uncle Jamie and started wriggling and climbing her way out of his arms and back to her da’s. 

“Anyway, a letter came for ye today from Melbourne.” He raised his brows in a knowing fashion and tossed the letter to Jamie. “C’mon, Maggie, let's go check what yer brother’s up tae.” Ian and Maggie returned downstairs, leaving Jamie staring at the envelope on the bed.

Jamie could barely read what it said, but he instantly recognised the handwriting as Claire's. _Why do doctors always have horrible writing?_

The first thing he noticed upon opening the neatly folded letter was the fragrance; her floral perfume. He would know that scent anywhere. He held the letter to his nose and inhaled deeply, his heart skipping a beat as he breathed in again. If she had been there in front of him at that moment, smiling brightly and smelling so good, he would have taken her in his arms and never let go. 

As he looked over the letter he noticed a few ink blotches. He wondered if they were the result of a water spill, but looking closely, he could see that it's actually the result of teardrops. His heart clenched thinking about her with tears running down her cheeks, trying in vain to write to him.

_Dear Jamie,_

_Let me start by saying, I hope you are well and your father is doing better. I am so sorry you all have to go through this, and I wish him a speedy recovery. If you need anything, please know, I am just a call away. I have tried to call but your phone just goes straight to voicemail._

_Jamie, I cannot apologise enough for the pain and anger I have caused you. It was never my intention to hurt you. I have spent a lot of time in the last few days trying to understand why I did what I did. I still don't have all the answers. But what I do know is how I feel about you._

_I am not going to try and convince you of anything. I am just going to tell you what happened between me and Frank. My only request of you, is that you read this letter with an open mind and heart._

_I met Frank when I was just 18. He was 28 and a historian, working with my Uncle Lamb. He was the first man who ever showed any interest in me. He seemed so romantic, mature, and intelligent. We began to date, and he told me everything I wanted to hear; I fell hook, line, and sinker._

_I knew he could offer me a real home, something I hadn't known since childhood. I convinced myself I loved him, and we married after only one year together._

_We settled in Oxford, where Frank had secured a teaching position at the university, and I began my medical studies. It became very clear early on that Frank and I had different expectations of our marriage._

_He was far from impressed when I was accepted into medical school and made no attempt to hide his disdain for my studies, friends and later on, my work._

_He especially hated Geillis. He was jealous of the carefree fun we had, and he believed the time we spent together was not appropriate for the wife of a man in his position._

_He wanted his wife, and mother to his future children, to be just like all the other professors’ wives. He wanted me to be happy at home, cooking, cleaning, and looking pretty for the boss, should we be invited to or host a work function or dinner party. He began to criticise how I acted and dressed and was generally trying to control every aspect of my life._

_The resentment in our marriage built quickly as did the pressure for a family. When I asked for more time to finish my training before starting a family, he refused, and I submitted. We tried for over a year to have a child; our failure to conceive was heartbreaking and Frank's reaction—the way the blame fell on me eroded what little self confidence I had left. By the end of that year, I had been unable to give him the children he so desired, when he desired, so he left me._

_I was devastated. To have a failed marriage at just 25 was bad enough, but to be thrown away by the man who said he loved me, for him to now call me barren, was soul crushing. I felt like a complete failure and the worst part was, I had become someone I didn’t recognise. I second guessed everything I thought I knew. I blamed myself. I felt unworthy, unlovable and all alone, again._

_But as the days and weeks passed, I came to see just how toxic the relationship had become, and I knew I was better off without him in my life. I chose to thrive in my newfound independence and freedom._

_As far as I know, we were divorced 2 years ago. It had all been finalised, and I hadn’t seen him since the day he left. I only found out the divorce was null, the day before you you saw those messages from Frank.I was living with Geillis in Oxford for a while, and that’s where we were when we decided to come to Australia._

_Finding my flat, my new home, and making it my own was like being reborn. I felt as though I had my whole life in front of me, and I was hopeful, for the first time in a long time. Australia was everything I needed, plus it delivered me the best day of my life—the day I met you._

_Something shifted in me that day, and the future I was planning for myself suddenly became our future. From the moment we met, I haven't stopped thinking about you, even my dreams are consumed by you._

_Jamie, if you take away anything from this, please let it be that I didn't deliberately deceive you, and everything I have told you is nothing but the truth._

_No words can describe how I feel when I'm with you. When you touch me, I have never felt anything like it, not with Frank, not with anybody. I want us to be together. I need you and I miss you so much. I’m so truly sorry._

_Come back to me, James Fraser._

_Forever Yours,_

_Claire. xo_

~~~

_Claire, God, I love her so much._ Jamie wiped the tears from his eyes, picked up his wallet and walked downstairs. “Can I borrow the car, Ian? Thanks,” he said, without waiting for a response. 

Speeding through the winding hills, he was on a mission to reach town before the stores closed. The anger surging through his body provided all the adrenaline he needed to not fear the speed he was driving. To think of a man treating his Claire like that, or any woman for that matter, filled him with a heated rage he had never known. _That fucking mad bastard, Randall… I could kill him!_

He made it to Tesco just as the doors were closing. Luckily the manager, Hamish, was a friend of Jamie’s from school and he let him sneak into the store after promising he would be quick.

Hamish grabbed a cell phone and a SIM card from behind the locked case and passed it to Jamie, who quickly walked to the registers and paid. Barely two steps from the register he was tearing at the packaging, becoming more and more impatient and clumsy with his hands. “Christ, do they glue this shite on?” Jamie muttered to himself and glanced over at the teenage clerk who was glaring at him for being in the store after closing.

“Aye, just give it tae me,” she said, rolling her eyes. She snatched the phone from Jamie's hands and had it open and set up in under two minutes. 

“Ta!,” he said, snatching it back with a snarl on his face. He took a deep breath, walked from the store and dialled. 

~~~

_Ten days earlier_

Jamie's phone had been going straight to voicemail since Sunday; it was now Wednesday afternoon, and Claire hadn’t slept for more than three hours in a row over the past four nights. She had still managed to work each shift as normal and refused to let her pain and suffering affect her performance. Somehow, as soon as she crossed the hospital threshold, ‘Dr. Beauchamp’ took control and all the drama could all be pushed to the back of her mind.

She had called Rupert several times, but he refused to reveal Jamie’s whereabouts. Today, though, she had reached her limit of her patience; there was no more ‘Mrs. nice gal’, she was getting some answers. 

As soon as her shift finished, she planned to go straight to Rupert’s. He had been able to play coy and tell her nothing over the phone, but he wouldn’t find her so easy to get rid of when face to face. 

Luckily for Claire, she was working in the outpatient clinic this week, something she loved to do. With patients booked solid all day, she barely had enough time to eat, let alone stew over her love life. 

The day passed quickly and as planned she headed straight to Rupert’s once she left the hospital. She knocked on his door and as soon as he opened, she barged straight in, not waiting for an invitation. Walking down the long narrow hall to the kitchen, she slumped into a chair at the table, knowing full well she was being rather rude, but not caring in the slightest. 

Rupert didn’t say a word, he looked rather shocked by her abrupt entrance, but simply began to make them some tea like he would on a regular visit. Claire could see him watching her from the corner of his eye, he looked terrified of her. It almost brought a smile to her face to see him scared of ‘such a wee lass’, as Jamie would say. It pained her to think of him like that, smiling and calling her lass and sassenach, and made her more determined to find him. _I have to speak to him and make him understand._

“Now, as I said tae ye over the phone, Jamie’s no’ here, lass.” Rupert said. “He’s gone away for a few days, and he told me tae tell ye, he will call ye when he’s ready. I canna say more than that.” He took a big gulp of his tea and placed a cup in front of her. 

“And as I told you, Rupert, I need to know where he is. It’s torture. I need to know so I can have some type of peace. Please, Rupert.” Her determined tone disappeared as she began to cry. He placed his hand on her shoulder as she wept. He may come across as a bit of a lad, tough and grouchy, but he had a soft heart, and he hated to see Claire like this.

“Okay, Claire, if I tell ye, _if_ , ye have tae promise me ye will leave him be until he is ready. I promised him I wouldna tell ye about the stroke.” He gasped and slapped his hand over his mouth.

“Stroke! Jamie had a stroke?” Claire dropped the cup from her hand, spilling the boiling hot tea down her legs. She sat still, vision blurring, and in that moment, she swore she heard her heart break. It was a small, clean sound, like the snapping of a flower's stem. Her skin was screaming out in pain but she paid it no attention, she felt frozen in time.

“No, ye dinna understand,” Rupert rushed to her side to comfort her. ”It’s Jamie's da, Brian, that had the stroke, Jamie is fine, lass.” He rubbed her gently on the back and stayed that way for a few minutes, waiting for the colour to return to her face. 

“I’m sorry tae frighten ye, lass,” he said once her breathing returned back to normal. He held his face in his hands and rubbed it out of frustration and grabbed a towel for Claire to clean herself up with. “Och, I told him I wouldna worry ye wit it.” 

Claire’s brain had thawed and she was finally form a sentence, “Jamie's father had a stroke? Is he...” The realisation suddenly hit her like a bolt of lightning. “Jamie’s in Scotland! Jesus H. Christ! When did he leave? Rupert, do you think he’ll come back?” 

As her mind exploded into a pile of ‘what ifs’ and ‘should haves’, her heart raced and her lips began to tingle. She fought hard to slow her breathing and heart rate down, she needed to focus and get all the information she could out of her unwilling source. “Look, Rupert, I know you promised Jamie, but you can't just give me half the story, you have to tell me everything.” 

Rupert sighed heavily and looked at her with his big, sad eyes. She knew he would crack, she just needed to push him off the edge. “Please, Rupert, Geillis would be so impressed to hear how kind and sweet you have been towards me. She loves a sensitive man.” 

She watched him from the corner of her eye as he moved back to the kitchen and made her more tea. She could see him thinking, she knew she had him, and felt a hint of guilt for manipulating him. It was bad, but she would do anything to get Jamie back in her arms. 

“Jamie got a call from his sister, Jenny, on Sunday, and he left straight away for Scotland. Dinna fash, Claire, he will be back, but I canna say when. Luckily Brian’s stroke was mild and they think he’ll make a full recovery. Last I heard, he was opening his eyes and smiling, but that's really all I know.”

Claire remained seated as Rupert gave her a fresh tea. She sipped it slowly and tried to gather her thoughts. “Can I ask another favour?” she said. “I need someone to talk to Rupert, a guy.” 

Rupert gave her a broad grin and nodded, almost looking relieved to no longer be holding onto any secrets. He walked out of the room and returned with a whiskey bottle and two glasses. “I've a feeling we’ll be needing more than tea for this.”

~~~

Claire woke the next morning with a raging headache and laying on an unfamiliar, smelly, filthy couch. Unfortunately, her eyes opened just as Rupert stood in front of her in briefs and a robe that was much shorter than she or probably anyone would have preferred. “Rupert, that robe’s not covering much, can you put some pants on, please?”

Blocking her eyes with her hands, she couldn’t help but giggle as he did a little model catwalk turn in front of her. Claire suddenly realised she had seen that robe before, “Is that Geilis’s robe?” 

“Aye, it is!” Geillis answered as she waltzed from Rupert's room into the lounge. “So, this is still happening, is it?” Claire laughed. “It appears you can keep a secret after all, Rupert, well done.” Geillis smacked him on the bum and checked her watch. “Ye better get ready, Claire, ‘tis almost eight.”

Releasing a steady stream of vulgar language, Claire jumped from the couch and rushed to gather her things, as Rupert and Geillis cuddled and laughed. She had to go home and change first. She reeked of whisky which was never appropriate for any doctor but particularly not for one at a children's hospital. She would most likely be late, so Rupert offered to give her a lift home to give her a fighting chance of being ready on time. 

The drive saved her time, but also allowed her to thank him for the chat last night. They had talked for more than two hours, and she found it quite cathartic to get everything off her chest. It also allowed at least a few hours sleep, the most she had in days. 

She had already confided in Joe but appreciated being able to have another man's opinion, especially one so close to Jamie. Knowing Joe and Rupert shared the belief that Jamie would forgive her in time, gave her some peace of mind. Unfortunately, her sense of peace didn’t last long, as the drive back to her flat would take them straight past Jamie’s house. 

Feeling sick to her stomach as they drove by, she remembered the last time she was there with him. Sitting on his knee, his heartbeat racing as he held her hands to his chest, about to confess his love for her before she cut him off. Even though they had only known each other for a few weeks, she felt it too—an all encompassing passion she had never known before.

Everything she saw now reminded her of him—the café where they met for lunch, the park they had planned to take their daily jogs in, and then the pub where they had their first unofficial date. A surge of heat flashed through her body as she remembered their near kiss that night. She knew even then this was something different, something unusual. 

Embracing the bright sunshine streaming into her window as they headed towards her flat, she felt a determination build inside her. They belonged together, she had no doubt over that. There was no way she was going to give up now. No matter how scared she felt, she had to pray for the strength to carry on. Yes, she was tired and heartbroken, but she was also stubborn and smart and she would get through this, no matter what lay before her.

Once home, Claire readied for her shift. The few hours of whisky induced sleep she had snuck in at Rupert’s seemed like a million years ago; she was so tired, physically and mentally. Running out of time to eat, and despite the growing protest from her stomach, she left her flat, crossed the busy road and walked into the hospital. 

Jamie was never far from her mind, but as soon as she placed her lanyard around her neck, Dr. Beauchamp kicked in and her mind focused on making it through another day without him. 

Waiting in line for her desperately needed coffee, she felt a cold, bony hand fall on her shoulder and knew who it was without turning—their close proximity and the heavy breathing on her neck gave it away immediately. “Hello, Doctor Mackenzie, how are you today?” she asked politely. _Like I give a shit._

“I’m well Dr. Beauchamp. But… I must say, Claire, ye look quite unwell. Are ye sure ye are well?” he smized. “Yes, I’m okay, thank you. I’ve just had a busy week. You must remember your registrar days, although… that was quite a long time ago, wasn’t it?” She turned to look at him and could see her little jab had landed. _God, he’s got such a massive ego._

“Did ye hear about young Jamie? He’s back in Scotland... Oh, that’s right, I forgot ye would know all about it.” He leaned right beside her and lowered his voice. “Ye know, I am sure there are rules around doctors sleeping with the hospital support staff. People talk, Claire. Remember that.” He grabbed his coffee from the counter and walked away. 

Claire stood shaking in the queue, she felt frozen to the floor and didn't hear her name being called when her order was ready. “I’ll grab that,” Joe cut in, taking her coffee from the counter. Claire could see him standing in front of her, she could see his mouth moving but she couldn’t hear a thing, then everything went black. 

~~~

She woke in a hospital bed, an IV drip in her arm and Joe standing by her side. 

“Lady Jane, don’t go scaring me like that.” He smiled and took her hand, patting it gently, attempting to sooth her frayed nerves with each touch. 

“What happened? Why am I in bed, with a drip?” Her eyes were struggling to focus on Joe's face as he spoke, the bright hospital lights caused her to see spots and stars floating through her field of vision.

“You went and fainted on me, good and proper, too. I carried you the whole way here and you didn’t move a bit.” Claire attempted a stealth move towards her chart while Joe was adjusting the drip, but he caught sight of her and snatched it away before she could

“Nice try! I’m worried about you, LJ. I know you are stressed about Jamie, but you have to look after yourself. You’re not going to be getting him back if you're six feet under.” The smile had now been replaced with the stare of an unimpressed doctor. 

“Don’t give me that look, that’s my look,” she smiled. 

“I’m serious, Claire. I took some bloods while you were out. You're seriously dehydrated, very low in iron and B12, plus you are a little on the thin side. You need to eat better and get some sleep.”

“You got bloods back already? How long have I been out?” 

“Three hours, and that’s just the start of the rest you need. Now once this IV is finished, I’m taking you home to bed...” 

The moment the word ‘bed’ left his lips, Dougal appeared from behind the curtain, almost like he was waiting for his cue to strike.

“Aye, so, she’s ruttin wit ye tae, then?” His gaze turned from Joe to Claire. “Any wonder ye fainted, lass, ye must be exhausted.” He grabbed his crotch and lewdly thrust his hips towards her. That was it for Joe. He grabbed him and wrestled him out of the room, returning a few moments later with his shirt askew an expression of anger Claire had never seen in him. 

“What the hell was that?” Claire exclaimed. “I’m sure he's only looking out for Jamie, but he's taking things a bit far, don’t you think?” 

“That's not just about you and Jamie, he’s angry at both of us,” said Joe. “I confronted him about Mary, yourself and the other girls. You could say he didn’t take it well. Now promise me you're not to worry about this, Claire. I’ll deal with him, I just need you to rest.” He checked the IV bag and promised he would return in about thirty minutes to take her home. 

Claire lay back in bed staring at the ceiling, feeling angry at herself for the mess she felt her life had become. As if she didn’t have enough to deal with, she now had Dougal harassing and threatening her. Well, Dougal be damned, there was no way she was going to let him push her around. 

Joe was right, she had to look after herself better. If she kept going like this, she would drive herself into the ground. She needed all the strength and grit she had in her to fight for Jamie. 

She had an epiphany of sorts as she lay there contemplating her path forward. If Jamie could find it in his heart to forgive her, if she could forgive _herself_ for her past mistakes, and they reconciled as she hoped, she vowed she would do whatever it took to make him happy, to make _them_ happy. She had to get that divorce finalised and make a fresh start. _Fuck Frank, and fuck the past. The future is going to be mine and Jamie’s._

Reaching down to the foot of her bed, she grabbed some paper from the patient’s chart. Maybe Jamie wasn’t ready to talk to her, but he may be prepared to read. Thinking about Jamie, tears spilled down her cheeks and onto the paper as she began to write. 

_Dear Jamie,_

_Let me start by saying…_

~~~

_10 days later_

It was just after three AM when her phone rang. Claire rolled over and looked at the screen, she didn't recognise the number, but it was a +44 international code. _Scotland!_

“Jamie?” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  



	6. A Brave Wee Lass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Any wonder she had avoided talking about him.  
> The pain she must have gone through—struggling to conceive,  
> then being tossed away like some used up rag when she didn’t suit his purpose any longer.  
> God, she’s a brave wee Lass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All.  
> Thank you so much or all the beautiful comments on chapter 5.  
> It really is amazing.  
> I hope you enjoy 6. Good times are coming people, I can feel it.

A Brave Wee Lass.

“Jamie?”

“Aye, Sassenach, ‘tis me.” 

_Sassenach, he called me Sassenach_

“Oh Jamie, thank god,” Claire cried, swallowing around the lump in her throat.

She had missed Jamie unbelievably; she ached for him everyday and craved his touch each night. She had lain awake, night after night, terrified she had lost him forever, unsure if they could find their way past this together, but still, the depth of emotion she felt in this moment caught her completely off guard. To finally hear his voice after what felt like an eternity was almost more than she could take.

“Dinna cry, mo graidh, everything will be fine; please dinna cry.” She could hear that he was crying himself, his voice now choked with tears.

It had been ten days since Claire had posted her heartfelt plea for forgiveness. She had poured her heart and soul onto that paper, lovingly kissed the envelope, even closed her eyes and made a wish as she popped it into the mailbox. 

Now there was a tenderness in his beautiful, rich voice that suggested perhaps something she had written had opened his heart to her again.

“I got yer letter, Claire, I’m sae sorry that I didna call sooner. I’ve been an eejit. A stubborn, proud eejit.” Jamie stopped speaking for a moment, and Claire could hear him take several slow, shaky, deep breaths. “I never even gave ye a chance tae explain. Can ye forgive me, lass?”

“Forgive you?” Claire was shocked that Jamie would feel he had anything to apologise for. “Jamie, there's nothing to forgive. This was _my_ doing, _my_ recklessness, _my_ carelessness. I should have told you. I... I’m... God, I'm so glad you called, Jamie.” 

Both overwhelmed by tears and a deep sense of relief, several heartbeats passed where no words were spoken between them. There were so many things Claire wanted, needed and planned to say once she finally got the chance to talk to Jamie again, but as soon as she had heard him say ‘Sassenach’, all of her pre-rehearsed lines completely abandoned her. 

The pause in conversation allowed Claire to recover from her initial shock and gather her thoughts. Even as they cried, each moment that passed allowed the questions she had earlier struggled to find, fight their way to the forefront of her mind, all demanding to be asked at once. 

“Jamie, your father! How is he? Is he doing better? Are you okay? Where are you?” 

Jamie laughed, in spite of their tears, at the rapid rate of questions now sputtering from Claire’s mouth. Sniffing and clearing his voice, he started with the last question.

“I’m actually standing on the footpath by Tesco in South Queensferry. Getting quite a few side eyes from the staff as they leave for the day,” he chuckled. “It must look a bit odd, I suppose, a giant redheaded man, blubbering into his phone, alone at dusk.” 

Claire could just picture him, embarrassed and blushing, trying to hide his face as he cried. 

“I’m feeling verra awkward right now, Sassenach, I best make my way back tae the car.” He continued to make jokes at his own expense as he squeezed his sizable torso into Ian’s little old hatchback. 

That self deprecating humour was something Claire loved so much about him, but she also knew he used humor as a wall or diversion to get around things he didn't want, or found too hard to talk about. 

“So, your father, how is he, Jamie?” 

“He's doing okay, improving a little everyday. The doctors think he should have no ongoing problems but... the only thing is, he’s still having a lot of headaches and dizzy spells. They’ve said it should settle in time, but it’s making it verra hard for him. He’s sae desperate to come home.” 

The headaches and dizziness spiked the interest of the doctor in Claire, and she couldn't help but poke around for a little more information. 

Jamie confirmed that Brian was still unable to maintain any length of time out of bed, he couldn't even stand without the headaches, dizziness, and nausea forcing him back down. His doctors were planning on performing another round of imaging, which was a relief, but her gut told her something wasn’t right, and she wanted to get to the bottom of it.

When Claire peppered him with more intense medical questions, most of which he was unable to answer, Jamie's tone shifted and became uneasy. 

“Is something wrong, Sassenach? I may not be as educated as ye in these matters, but I ken when ye’re not satisfied with something. Do ye think the doctors aren't telling us everything?”

“No, not at all, Jamie, I didn’t mean to frighten you. It’s my bloody neurologist brain, always overthinking, over analyzing. I’m sure everything is fine.” She was actually lying through her teeth. In truth, she had no confidence at all in what she was hearing, but now was not the time to keep the line of questioning going.

“How are Ian and Jenny? Are they coping with everything?” she asked, changing tacks. 

“Okay, I guess. ’Tis not easy for them with Da, the bairns, and the farm. But they are doing the best they can. Jenny needs tae rest more, but ye can’t tell her; she's stubborn, almost as stubborn as ye are, Sassenach.” His genuine, hearty chuckle at his own joke, as per usual, was music to Claire's ears; she had missed the sound of his laughter brightening her days. 

Even though he was saying all the right things and sharing a laugh, there was an unmistakable sadness in his voice that hinted at the pain he had suffered since he’d been gone. Knowing she was responsible for a sizeable portion of that pain, Claire decided it was time to address the giant Frank sized elephant in the room. 

“I know it’s been a difficult few weeks Jamie, but we really need to talk about what happened between us. I need to explain about Frank...” 

“Och, Frank.” The loud Sscottish grunt Jamie expelled as he said Frank's name made clear exactly what he thought of the topic. 

But Claire believed it best to hash it all out now and get everything off their chests. Maybe then, they could start anew, with nothing hidden between them. Jamie, however, thought differently.

“Claire, I want tae talk about it all, I do, but right now I just want tae hear about yer day, about what's been happening at work. I just need to talk wit’ ye bout normal stuff, like we used tae.”

For the next hour, they shared tales of what each other had missed in their time apart, with Claire fighting a dogged determination to explain herself and seek answers almost the entire time. 

Jamie bragged about meeting his new lady friend, Marge, on the flight to Scotland. The grandmother of five’s wandering eyes and roaming hands had Claire snorting with laughter.

“Lucky I wasn’t there, we may have ended up in a mid-air fist fight with her. I’m not afraid to take out an old lady, you know,” she joked between her laughter.

“Aye,” laughed Jamie. “Remind me not tae get on yer bad side, Sassenach.”

Jamie was highly amused to hear of Rupert and Geillis’ ongoing fling and Rupert’s newly discovered penchant for wearing tiny bathrobes topped the news off perfectly. An absent minded comment that Jamie made in response to the gossip completely blew Claire’s fear and anxiety over their future away. “Aye, they may get married before us, Sassenach.” 

_Married, he still thinks we’ll get married!_

Just like a lovesick teenage girl would do in their school notebook, Claire had practised her future ‘Dr. Claire Fraser’ signature after their second date. To hear this from him now, even as a flippant, offhanded joke, was everything. 

Claire wanted to scream into the phone and confess her undying love for him then and there. She settled however, for an internal squeal and a fist pumping happy dance. The time for sharing her embarrassing, soppy dreams and ideal wedding dress style would come, but just not yet. 

Despite feeling like she was floating on a cloud, the increasing frequency and length of her yawns began to interrupt the conversation and betrayed her fatigue. It also reminded Jamie of the time difference between Scotland and Australia.

“Christ, Sassenach, I didna even think of the time. What time is it? Is it 4AM there?”

Claire checked her phone and was shocked to see just how long they had been talking. “Ah, it’s 4:30, actually, good guess. I’m fine though, Jamie, really. Tell me more about the kids, I want to hear all about wee Jamie and Maggie.”

“No, I need ye to get some rest, Claire, I can hear ye yawning all the way from Australia. Besides, Jenny will be home from the hospital now, and I took Ian's car without any explanation. They'll be sending a search party out for me if I dinna make it back soon.” 

Claire clutched at her elbow, squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to control the wave of disappointment sweeping through her. She didn’t want the call to end. She wanted to stay on this cloud forever, listening to his voice day and night, his laugh. Even if it was just the sound of him breathing, she would gladly take and cherish it.

“I’ll give ye a call tomorrow, Sassenach, if that's okay with ye. Will ye be working then?” 

“I’m on duty today, but I’m off tonight, and I’ll be home tomorrow. Call me whenever you need, I’m always here for you, Jamie.” Claire held the phone away from her face as the tears began to roll from her tired eyes. There was no way she was going to end the call sounding upset. 

“Aye, I ken ye are. Try and get some rest now. I’m sae glad we talked, I truly miss ye, Sassenach.” 

“I miss you too, Jamie, call me tomorrow.” _I love you._

Claire set her mind, then and there, to do everything she could to get Jamie through whatever lay before him. Right now was not about _them_ and their relationship; it was about Jamie and his family. They all needed positivity and support, and she was going to be the one to provide it.

  
  


_~~~_

Feeling the best he had for days, Jamie drove under Lallybroch’s historic stone archway and parked the car beside the stables. He felt re-energised, almost as though half his heart that had been missing, suddenly found and magically reattached. Blood was pumping through his veins again and it was all from Claire, from hearing her say his name, hearing her laugh. 

The drive home was spent thinking of her-- picturing her face, with her tender lips, so soft and ripe, like a fresh peach just waiting to be tasted and devoured. He hadn’t thought of her like this for the past two weeks, but his mind was now free of the self imposed restraints and seemingly couldn't stop.

As his mind wandered every line and curve of Claire's body, he felt his arousal growing and realised he had been sitting like this in the car for several minutes— frozen in place, biting his lip, his hands tightly gripping the steering wheel as if they were holding her lovely round ass. If he kept thinking of her like this, he would have to either sneak into the house and pray to remain unseen or wait for the rapidly expanding bulge in his pants to settle. In an attempt to cool himself off, Jamie rolled down the car window and instantly felt the cold autumn air bite against his cheeks. 

That's when he heard it, a squeal he first put down to the window sticking in Ian’s old beat up Astra. But then he heard it again, louder and clearer. Opening the car door, he could tell what it was and it drove a chill through his body. 

Jenny was crying, screaming— the very same cries she released when she had called him about Brian's first stroke. Jamie ran up the stairs and was met by his panicked sister as she opened the door.

“Jenny, what is it? What's wrong?”

“Where have ye been, brother? We’ve got tae go now!” Angrily sobbing, she pushed Jamie back down the stairs and snatched the keys from his hand, “Da had another stroke!”

They jumped back in the car and raced towards the hospital. Jamie sat stony faced and pale in the passenger seat, with Jenny berating him as she drove. “Why would ye just leave and not tell anyone where ye were going? Ye had no phone; ye even took Ian’s car. What the devil were ye thinking, Jamie?”

Taking her abuse with little argument, Jamie was almost too frightened to speak He knew if he so much as mentioned speaking to Claire, her rage would increase. Jamie also understood her temperament well, being one so close to his own. She was lashing out; she needed to let out her frustrations, and he was happy to be the one to take it... for now. _Better me than the poor doctors._

He, too, wanted to yell and scream and blame someone for everything that was happening, but one of them needed to be calm and rational, and Jenny was certainly not. 

A discomforting feeling was welling deep inside Jamie. The fear of what condition they would find their da in was clashing with his previously growing confidence in his recovery. The happiness he had felt just moments ago was slipping away and the fear of losing his da was returning after only a few short days of respite. 

Claire's reassuring voice swirled through Jamie's mind, and he felt relief knowing he had her there for support. Seeking her comfort but feeling like a teenager hiding a secret from his angry, overprotective mother, Jamie turned his body away from Jenny and pulled his phone out of his pocket. 

_[Jamie 19:45] Claire, sorry to frighten ye but Da had another stroke. On our way to the hospital now. I will call ye when I know anything._

Jenny spotted his shifty seating position from the corner of her eye and could see the phone's glare reflecting in the window. 

“Is that what ye were up tae in town? Getting a phone? Ye might have told us that.” He slid the phone back into his pocket and sighed, unable to hold his tongue anymore. 

“I’m not one of yer bairns that ye can order around, Janet. I didna think I had to tell ye my every movement.” He regretted the words as soon as he spoke them. 

Spit flew from Jenny’s mouth and the profanities were plentiful as her temper shifted up a notch. Jamie struggled not to laugh looking at Jenny but the half smirk on his face only enraged her more. Her hands were flying around her head, exaggerating her words and making it even harder not to laugh. “Christ woman! Calm down and hold the bloody wheel!” 

Jenny took hold of the wheel again but over-corrected, causing the rear end of the car to swerve out. It had been raining for several days and the already treacherous roads were slippery, particularly that time of night. Panicking, she slammed her foot on the breaks and the car, almost in slow motion, skidded sideways off the road. 

Jamie’s first reaction was to throw his right arm out to protect his sister, but as they slammed into the rock embankment, the momentum of the car pushed against him and his head was thrown onto the passenger side window. The deafening crack as it shattered around him caused Jenny to scream and blood to burst from Jamie's temple. They came to a halt, both breathless, staring in shock.

“Jenny! Are ye okay?” Jamie struggled to remove his seat belt with his shaking hands, desperate to help his sister despite clearly being the one in need of aid. She sat trembling in the driver's seat, staring out the window, seemingly unharmed but terrified and not responding.

Still unable to release the seat belt and beginning to feel nauseous, he looked down and noticed blood pooling on his lap. Presuming it was coming from the gash on his head, he tried to move towards the still frozen Jenny, but found he couldn’t move his left leg. _Shite!_ _I canna feel me fecking leg._

Part of the car door had been sliced open by rocks and a large piece of metal was lodged firmly to his thigh. Blood pulsed from the wound, but he couldn’t feel a thing. As his first aid training from the hospital kicked in, he looked around the car and could see an old cloth nappy on the rear seat. Groaning as he struggled to move, he leant across and grabbed it, then applied a makeshift tourniquet to his now blood-soaked leg. 

It felt as though stretching to the backseat had lodged the metal deeper into his leg and Jenny’s gaze was drawn to her brother as he grappled to tighten the cloth and stem the bleeding. She screamed when her eyes focused on the blood pouring from the gash, it was at least fifteen centimeters in length, deep, and terrifying to see. 

“A dhia, Jamie! Yer leg!” Her screams continued and he tried his best to settle her without moving too much. “Jenny, I’m okay, but please, I need ye tae calm down. Are ye hurt?” 

Unable to take her eyes from Jamie’s leg, she only shook her head in response.

She was pale, clammy, and trembling, all signs of someone going into shock. 

Jamie took her by the hand and squeezed it tightly, pleading with her to slow her breathing, almost like he was teaching her how to breathe for the first time. He took several deep breaths himself, nodding encouragingly with each shaky breath she took. His coaching worked and her breathing slowed to an almost normal rate. 

“I need ye to call for help, Jenny. I canna get my phone from my pocket. I need ye to be calm and do this for me, please.” Jenny nodded her head, reached into the back of the car for her phone and dialled 999.

Jamie could hear her talking at first, but her voice grew distant and faint, almost like she was walking away from him into a cave or tunnel. Covered in goosebumps and violently shivering, his whole body began to tingle and he was freezing cold.

“Claire...” was all he said, as his body slumped forward and he lost consciousness.

~~~

Claire was sitting at the nurses station, getting ready to leave for the night after what had been a hectic day. She had fallen back to sleep after her early morning call with Jamie and woken late, again. In her rush to get ready for work, she’d left her phone at home and wore her shirt inside out, much to the delight of the nursing staff who had taken bets on how long it would take her to notice. 

A non-stop day in the outpatient clinic had left her with no time to duck home and get her phone, so she had used a spare hospital one all day. Now relaxed and happy, she was laughing hysterically as Mary and Geillis recounted their raucous girls night out over the weekend. 

“I have two things to say, ladies, and I use that term loosely,” she smiled as she picked up her bag and pointed to each of them as she spoke, “Geillis, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you are disgusting. And Mary, innocent, young Mary, you need to choose your friends more wisely.” She slapped herself on the leg, pleased with her snide jabs and began to walk down the corridor, still laughing at herself.

Only a few paces away from her friends, the spare phone rang in her pocket, but she ignored it for fear it may be her head doctor asking her to pull another double shift. She ran back to Geillis and threw her the phone, “I’m not here,” she mouthed. 

She had been ordered to take two days off after her fainting incident the previous week but had worked four fifteen hours shifts in the following days. Her guilt in taking time off made it hard to say no to any requests, no matter how tired she was. 

But she was done now and she had the coming week off. A night out had been planned for her upcoming twenty-eighth birthday (whether she liked it or not, according to Geillis) and tonight, she had a date with herself, a bottle of wine and Michael Fassbender’s latest flick.

Arriving home, she ran a bath and poured herself a large glass of red. Sinking into the water, still clutching her wine glass and covering herself playfully with the bubbles, she allowed her mind to think of Jamie and his touch for the first time in many days. 

The phone call with him that morning had let her truly believe for the first time since that horrible afternoon that everything would be okay. Until then, she had closed her mind and vowed not to think of him intimately, until she knew he was still hers.

Slowly, her eyes closed as she thought of his lips on hers, his strong hand covering her lower back and pulling her in closer, her breasts pushing against his firm muscular chest, heaving against hers as they twisted into each other. Her hand drifted south, circling her aching, craving centre and she let out a contented, shaky breath. _Jamie._

_Buzz...Buzz_

Water splashed all over the floor, and she almost committed the ultimate crime of dropping her wine when she jumped at the sound. At least she knew where her phone was now. She hadn’t been able to find it since she’d gotten home. 

Ignoring the buzzing, she sank back into the bubbles and took a long drink., Getting comfortable and resuming her thoughts of Jamie was all that was on her mind, until her phone buzzed again and again, then rang and rang. _No, I am not coming back to work!_

Begrudgingly dragging herself out of the bath, she grabbed her phone from the counter. “Jamie!” she squealed when she saw a Scottish number. She didn’t think twice about it being a different number than the one she had saved that morning; she was too excited to notice. She called him straight back, delighted to hear from him unexpectedly, but it wasn't Jamie who answered.

“Claire, sorry to keep calling, lass, I’m Ian Murray, Jamie's brother-in-law.”

“Ian, hi, is everything okay?” She knew it wasn’t, she could hear the tremble in his voice as he spoke.

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of ye all day. I ken ye’re busy, but I needed to talk wit ye.”

Claire popped the phone onto the speaker and saw the long list of missed calls, starting from early this morning to this evening, plus one text message from Jamie, not long after their call this morning. _Jesus H Christ._

With a tremble in her voice, she asked, “What is it Ian? Is Jamie’s father okay?” 

“Yes. Well, no actually. But Claire, Jamie and Jenny have been in a car accident. Dinna worry, it’s not life threatening, but Jamie injured his leg. He's in surgery now. I’m sorry, lass.” 

Claire couldn’t believe what she was hearing, “What? When?”

“Last night, around eight. Jamie took the brunt of the accident. I’m afraid some metal and glass have lodged in his leg. He had surgery this morning to remove it all and now the plastic surgeon is repairing some nerve damage.”

“Two surgeries already!” Her anxiety peaked and she could feel herself beginning to hyperventilate. _You've got to stop this shit and listen, Beauchamp._

“He will be okay, Claire, dinna fash. I... oh, I’ll just be a minute, Claire,” said Ian.

Claire could hear someone speaking to Ian in the background and strained to listen to what was being said but could only hear Ian thanking them.

“They’ve just told me he’s out of surgery, and doing okay. I have to call Jenny now, but I will let ye know as soon as he wakes.” The line dropped out before Claire could answer or ask any of her many questions. 

Repeating over and over again, _He’s okay, he said he was okay, s_ he paced the room, wine glass in hand and checked the message Jamie had left her that morning. 

_[Jamie 19:45] Claire, sorry to frighten ye but Da has had another stroke. On our way to the hospital now. I will call ye when I know anything._

Unable to hold the weight of her suffering any longer, she fell to the floor in a dishevelled heap, her grief pouring out in a flood of uncontrollable tears. Her phone and glass lay by her side while her ankles cracked against the hard wooden floors as she rolled forward, hugging her knees. 

Awkwardly refilling her glass while bundled on the floor, the bottle was done before she realised, but she felt none of the effects. In contrast, the shock she was in seemed to be sobering her as she drank. 

A loud, melodic knock at the door broke the chain of her horrible, negative thoughts about Jamie and the accident. Barely managing to drag herself off the floor, she wobbled to the door and opened it, only to find Joe and his wife, Gail, wine bottle and chinese takeout in their hands. Claire said nothing, just walked back to her couch and skulled the remainder of her glass. 

“Lady Jane, what’s up? You look bloody terrible.” 

Gail slapped Joe on the arm and took a seat next to Claire. “What is it Claire? Joe said you were so happy today after speaking to Jamie. You didn’t hear from Frank again, did you?”

“God I wouldn't waste any more tears on that bastard. It’s Jamie. I’ve just had a call from Scotland. He's been in a car accident with his sister and just came out of surgery. And I’m here, on the other side of the world, drinking piss weak wine and waiting to hear how he is!”

Gail wrapped her arms around her as she clutched her stomach and lurched forward. Finding it hard to contain the energy she felt building inside her, she rocked back and forth and cried. 

“I'm so angry!” she screamed. “Can we not be happy for five goddamn minutes? He is such a good person, Gail. It's not fair.” She leaned into her friend, seeking solace and reassurance for her withering soul. 

“Oh, and did I mention his father had another stroke? Jesus H Christ, how much is he supposed to take? First me breaking his fucking heart, then his father has two strokes, and now a car accident.” 

Joe rolled off a series of questions about the accident and Jamie's condition, most of which Claire couldn't answer due to the lack of details she received from Ian. He stood with his arms crossed, one hand reaching up to rest on his chin. Claire could see his pose if she raised her eyes; she knew that pose well, it was his thinking position. 

Waiting for words of wisdom, she was sorely disappointed when he opened with

”What the fuck can you do?” Both Claire and Gail shot daggers in his direction. 

“Let me finish, ladies. What the fuck can you do, apart from…” He was thinking on his feet, a wry smile appeared as he thought of what to say next. “Apart from going to Scotland!” He shot his arms out to either side in a _ta da_ motion, minus the sound effects. 

Gail was unimpressed with her husband's theatrics and had no qualms in telling him so. “Are you waiting for some kind of applause? Would you take this seriously?” 

“I _am_ taking it seriously. Sounds to me like he needs a good, strong woman by his side. Who better than Claire to nurse him back to health?”

”Stop being a damn fool, Joe. She’s not going to Scotland,” she threw a cushion at him which he dogged successfully, shrugged, and walked into the kitchen. 

“Yes, she is!” cried Claire. She rolled off the couch to her knees and crawled to her phone, still laying on the floor where she left it. 

“Hey, hey! That's my girl. Go for it, LJ.” Joe was searching around in Claire's second drawer for a bottle opener while Gail tried to be the one adult in the room and reason with Claire. 

“Are you sure you want to do this, honey? Why don't you have some wine and think about it a little more, sleep on it even?” 

“No, Joe’s right. I can go to Scotland, and I can be with Jamie, help him and his whole family. I’m a doctor for Christ’s sake! There's so much I could be doing if I was there. I can’t do anything here, can I? Apart from drinking myself into a stupor and crying.” _I’m going to Scotland!_

~~~

“Dinna fash, Jenny, I’m okay. Please, would ye stop fussing at me, woman?”

Jamie grabbed the pillow from her hand and winced from the sharp pain that shot down his leg as he did so. 

“Aye, see, ye do need me, brother. Stop acting like a wee bairn and I won’t treat ye as one.” 

Jamie crossed his arms in defeat, a fierce pout and a cheeky wink broke the tension that had been building all day. He knew the stress she was under was enormous, and he realised he needed to cut her some slack. 

It had been two days since his accident, and although sore, he was feeling surprisingly good. Much to Jenny’s disgust, he had been up and out of bed. Slowly, of course, but he had learnt from his experience recovering from his back, the sooner he got up and started moving the better. The surgeries on his leg had gone well and there was no permanent damage, just a huge scar covering the width of his mid thigh.

The surgeon was coming in to see him today and he was hoping he would get the all clear to go home. Even though it had only been a few days, he was going to push hard for it, knowing that once he did, Jenny would be under considerably less stress. It would free up a lot of her time and allow her to be with the bairns at home more, rather than racing between himself and his da. 

Brian was also doing well and was actually recovering faster than with the initial stroke. Jamie had not been able to see him since the surgery but was hoping to be able to do so today. 

Jenny decided she had fussed over him enough for a while and left him to tend to Brian. A soon as she was gone, Jamie was out of bed and pacing the room. As he was doing so, the surgeon and a swarm of junior doctors walked in.

"Ah, Mr. Fraser. Up and out of bed are ye? Good tae see. How are ye feeling?"

"Really good, a bit of pain with movement but nothing I canna handle."

He continued pacing back and forth as he spoke to the doctors, until they wanted to check how the incision was healing. He carefully made his way back to the bed and sat down, but as he swung his leg up and over the mattress, a sharp pain shot from his leg and through his spine. He quickly looked down to see almost all of his stitches had burst open and blood was oozing from the wound. 

The doctors were on it quickly, pressing down firmly over the wound and calling for assistance. Jamie gripped the bed and winced as they tried to stem the flow of blood. The pain from his leg was nothing compared to the disappointment he felt knowing this would put an end to his plans of making it home in a day or two. 

As soon as the blood flow slowed and he could be moved without causing another bleed, he was taken in a wheelchair down to a treatment area, given a local anaesthetic and had fresh stitches applied. He was so angry at the situation he found himself in, he swore at himself in Gaelic and drew the ire of the nurse who understood perfectly well what he was mumbling. 

Once back in his room, he lay in bed and tried his best to ignore Jenny and her 'I told ye so' lecture. The anaesthetic was wearing off and his leg was beginning to throb along to his heartbeat. 

Right now, all he wanted was for her to go away and give him some peace, then he could try to call Claire again. He had been unable to get a hold of her all day and her sudden reluctance to answer her phone was beginning to make him nervous. 

They had spoken briefly the morning after his accident but not since. Laying all day in a hospital bed was giving him plenty of time to think, too much actually, and the longer he didn’t hear back from her, the more worried he became.

Jenny had decided she could do no more for him in his current mood and left to see Brian. _Thank Christ._ As soon as she was out of sight _,_ he gingerly reached over to his bedside and grabbed his phone. A mile wide smile flashed over his face as he saw Claire on the screen. He traced his finger along her cheek, wishing it to be real, for her to be with him right now. God, how he longed to touch her. 

Again he was left disappointed when her phone went straight to voicemail. He didn’t bother to leave another message as he didn’t want to sound desperate, even though it was his seventh call today, and it was probably a little too late for that now.

Slipping down deeper under his blankets, he stared at her photo, still glowing on his phone. Her beautiful smile melted his heart, her eyes beaming brighter than a million stars ever could. 

As had happened often since receiving her letter, his thoughts drifted from her and travelled somewhere he didn’t want to go, but couldn't seem to avoid—Frank. Anger coursed through his body as he gazed upon her face, _How could anyone hurt her_ ? _How could this Frank have treated her the way he did?_

Any wonder she had avoided talking about him. The pain she must have gone through—struggling to conceive, then being tossed away like some used up rag when she didn’t suit his purpose any longer. _God, she’s a brave wee lass._

His initial anger and insecurities over her concealment of the marriage had well and truly passed. All he felt now was an overwhelming sense of empathy, compassion and an even stronger desire to treat her better and show her more love than she ever thought possible. 

Sleep was creeping upon him, but before he closed his eyes, he tapped the screen of his phone to catch one last glimpse of his lass before dozing off. 

~~~

Claire hadn’t been this scared or unsure of what to do since the death of her parents as a child. She was on her way to Lallybroch, Jamie's beloved home and she didn’t know if she would be welcomed by everyone or if her coming was a good idea to begin with. 

Both Ian and Jenny had spoken with her before leaving Melbourne. Ian was much more forgiving and generous than his wife, who had barely spoken more than three words to her before grunting and handing the phone back to her husband.

Claire could see straight away why Jamie was so fond of him. He was kind and sweet and assured Claire that she would be welcome in their home. Ian agreed to keep her trip a surprise to Jamie. They had been so worried about him since the accident and this would be the boost that he needed. 

The cab pulled up the gravel driveway and Claire was immediately in love. Lallybroch was everything Jamie had described. From the sweeping hills, scattered with cottages and crop laden fields that lay just beyond the house, to the herb gardens lining the centuries old harled stone walls and stables. It was absolutely perfect, and Claire felt a familiarity and affection for it straight away.

Grabbing her bags from the boot of the cab while gazing in awe at the beauty surrounding her, Claire hesitantly walked towards the large stone stairs leading to the front door. The house was much larger than she expected, in truth, it was much closer to a small castle than a house. Ian swung open the large wooden door and greeted her warmly with a welcoming and much needed hug. 

Claire had packed lightly, only carrying one small case and an overnight bag, but still, Ian took the bags from her hands and led her inside. A quick tour was provided by her enthusiastic host, before she was taken to Jamie’s room. 

“I'll let ye have a rest for a wee bit, then we’ll head off.” 

“Thank you, Ian. You’ve been so kind, I really do appreciate it.” 

With a smile and a nod, he left her alone, sitting on Jamie’s bed, still unable to believe she was sitting in his childhood bedroom. 

It was only three days ago that she had jumped on Joe's half cocked idea to come to Jamie’s aid and took the first flight to Edinburgh she could find. Rupert and Joe had helped her organise everything with Ian and at the hospital. Gail, who was still not entirely convinced the whole thing was a good idea, had taken her shopping for some Scotland appropriate attire, including a couple of sexy items of lingerie. “Just in case things with Jamie go _really well,_ ” she had joked. She even drove Claire to the airport at five AM. 

Jamie’s room was absolutely adorable. Everywhere Claire looked, she could see mementos of his childhood. Toy tractors, swords and pistols lined an antique bookcase, a chest full of his childhood clothes and woolly winter blankets lay at the foot of the bed, and on the mantle above the fireplace, sat a cute little wooden snake with the name Sawny, carved into its belly. She was curious about its origins, it was definitely handmade, and made a mental note to ask Jamie about it when he came home.

Exhausted by the flight, she sat, then collapsed backwards onto the bed. The intoxicating scent of Jamie was all around her, and smiling and hugging his pillows, she closed her eyes and quickly fell asleep.

_There is something wet in my nose, what the hell is in my nose?_

There was a little person sitting on her chest, cramming something sticky and wet up her nose. 

“Oh, well, you must be Wee Jamie, and this must be your wee wet finger.” Claire, equal parts disgusted and amused, giggled as she removed said finger from her nose and sat up, holding the cheeky lad in her arms. 

“Da says tae wake ye up, Aunty Claire. ’Tis time tae see my Uncle Jamie.” He gave her a peck on the check then pushed off of her and rolled off the bed. “C’mon, up ye get.” His still slimy wet hand grabbed her own and she allowed him to drag her up and off the bed. 

Feeling she had been run over by a train— a combination of jetlag and a ridiculous amount of nerves, she only had time for a quick wash and refresh before being bundled into the car. After a noisy but fun trip in the car, singing along with Young Jamie's favourite Disney playlist, Claire took a deep breath and followed Ian to Jamie’s room.

“Are ye ready to see him, lass?”

Feeling a little more confident now that she was in her natural habitat of a hospital, she pulled together all her professional poise and walked with as much ease as she could. “Yes, yes, I’m ready,” she said, smoothing her hair down with her hands.

Standing in the doorway to his room, feeling as though her whole future hung on his reaction, she waited, almost hiding behind Ian. She could hear Jamie's deep voice and felt sick, so scared he wouldn’t want to see her, even after the reassurance of their call. 

“Jamie, ye have a visitor,” Ian stepped from in front of her, and there he was. Her heart spasmed to see him so close again. She felt as though she was frozen to the floor, wanting to move, but unable. He took her breath away all over again as he looked up and smiled. His deep ocean blue eyes sparkling brighter than ever as he saw her. Even in a baggy white hospital gown with his ginger curls a fluffy mess, he was still the most gorgeous thing she had ever seen.

“Claire!”

She ran to him then— she couldn’t move fast enough. She jumped off her feet and launched herself at him. Both crying, he winced as she landed roughly on his injured leg. She didn’t notice and he didn’t say a word, not caring one bit as pain shot through his body. Taking her in his arms, her hands covered in their tears as she cupped his face, they shared a long, slow, tender kiss—a kiss she had feared she may never feel again. 

“Jamie, I’m so…”

“Dinna fash, Mo Nighean Donn, we’ve got time for that, just let me hold ye.”

She placed her forehead against his, their eyes met and silently exchanged their love for each other. They both felt it, no words where needed. Jamie kissed her lightly on the nose and there they stayed, holding each other tightly, neither wanting to ever let go. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. A Silent Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire lay watching him sleep, feeling so grateful for his forgiveness and trust.  
> To be here like this with him again was everything, he was everything.  
> Completely exhausted, she could feel her eyes becoming heavy and was ready  
> to join him in slumber. She closed her eyes and made him a silent promise.  
> 'I will never hurt you again.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Sorry for the delay in posting.  
> I hope you enjoy the chapter, I'm very proud of this one.

  


The colours of Autumn streamed through Claire’s window, gently warming the chilly room. It was a beautiful morning: crisp, cool, and clear. Scotland certainly was putting on a show and Claire didn’t remember the highlands ever looking so good. She had visited the area many years ago with her uncle Lamb and again with Geillis in their university days, but her relationship with Jamie had given her a new appreciation for its serenity and rugged beauty.

Claire had been in Scotland for two days and was rapidly adjusting to the early morning starts at Lallybroch. Although still a little sluggish with jet lag, she was up and dressed by six thirty AM, after Maggie decided to wake the entire household at the crack of dawn along with the roosters. 

There was another reason for her eagerness to start the day, one that had her feeling as excited as a little girl waking up on Christmas morning. Today was her birthday, and she couldn't wait to receive her gift–Jamie was finally coming home. His doctors had been unsure of his readiness to be discharged when it was first discussed, but with Claire’s promise of her ability to provide care at home, they yielded to Jamie’s persistent requests late last night, ensuring a restless night for both of them who were more than eager for some alone time.

Claire hadn’t mentioned her birthday to anyone in the house since her arrival, and was unsure if Jamie had remembered or even realised the date for that matter. Either way, she was not bothered in the slightest, nothing was going to ruin her day. As long as she had Jamie by her side, she had everything she wanted or needed.

The raucous, but happy sounds of Jamie’s niece and nephew playing drifted into her room from below and Claire decided it was about time she made an appearance. She was halfway down the squeaky wooden staircase when Wee Jamie called out loudly, “Aunty Cwaire! Bweakfast is weady!” 

_God, that kid is cute._

Upon reaching the threshold of the dining room, Claire could hear the dragging of chairs over the stone floor, the banging of plates and cutlery and small giggles, followed by a loud, “Shhhh, she’s coming, are ye ready?” 

Playing along, Claire animatedly popped her head around the corner. 

“SURPRISE!” yelled Ian and Wee Jamie. 

“AHHH!” squealed Claire, as she jumped with pretend fright.

A rousing rendition of _Happy Birthday_ followed and was accompanied by a spectacularly cute dance routine. Maggie, who was still too young to dance or sing, happily bounced and jiggled along in the arms of her father as Ian and Wee Jamie finished their performance.

“Wow, what a surprise. I wasn’t sure anyone even knew it was my birthday!” 

“Aye, Jamie was an absolute pain in my ass yesterday. He reminded me a hundred times, I think. He wanted to make sure ye had a great morning,” 

Ian laughed himself silly as he revealed that Jamie himself had demonstrated the dance, then insisted it be practised until perfected. The thought of Jamie's hulking frame twirling and dancing around in his hospital gown was the best gift Claire could ever imagine.

She was then ushered to the table by Wee Jamie to inspect her waiting birthday breakfast, all the while grinning so much her cheeks hurt.

“This is incredible! Thank you so much everyone. Jamie will be so happy and verra proud of you.” Winking to Ian, she then grabbed and tickled Wee Jamie. 

“Especially you, young man,” she said to the still singing tot while squeezing his irresistibly chubby cheeks. “I had no idea you were such a good little dancer, Jamie!”

He giggled and pointed proudly to the food he had worked so hard on. “We made ye some mavocaco toast Aunty. Uncle Jamie said it’s yer favorwite.” 

Bouncing with excitement, he sat by her side and smiled, then pointed out the other treats they had so lovingly prepared.

Eager for Claire to approve of his cooking as much as she did his dancing, the youngster quickly picked up a hearty piece of the toast and attempted to shove it in her mouth, resulting in half the avocado sliding onto her lap. 

“Mmmm, it's delicious, Jamie, did you really make this for me?”

“Aye, me and Da did. Mam said ye didna deserve it and wouldna help.” 

Claire almost choked on her toast as she burst out laughing. With a horrified expression, Ian clapped his hands over Jamie's mouth and pushed him into the kitchen. “Go and get us a cloth tae clean yer aunty, lad,” he said as he shooed him out the door. 

“Sorry ‘bout that, Claire, there’s just no filter on that kid,” Ian said with a grimace. “He didna mean it, lass.”

“Yes, he did, and it's okay, Ian. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out Jenny’s feelings towards me. I’m sure she will warm to me eventually..." Claire paused to ponder, then added with a grimace ”... hopefully.“ They both laughed and smiled reassuringly toward each other. Claire thanked him for her surprise breakfast and invited him to sit and eat. 

Ian had gone out of his way to make Claire feel like part of the family since she arrived. She had walked into a household in crisis, one where she may not have been so warmly received, so the effort he had made filled her heart to the brim with appreciation of his kindness. The same could not be said for his wife, who, despite Claire’s effort to get to know her and to be nice to her, avoided Claire whenever she could. When she couldn’t, she made no attempt to hide her displeasure at being in Claire's presence. 

“Where is Jenny?” Claire asked, while enjoying her fresh hot coffee. 

“She’s just gone tae the market tae get some things for Jamie. She wants tae have all his favorite things here when he gets home,” he answered, while looking skeptically at the piece of avocado toast staring back at him on his plate. 

“It’s really good, I promise,” Claire urged. “Trust me.” 

Ian jokingly shook his hands and took a deep breath as he bit into the loaded toast. “Hmmm,” he hummed approvingly while slowly chewing his toast. “That’s bloody delicious! It looks like shite, but it’s surprisingly good.” 

Their shared laughter stopped as soon as Jenny walked in the room and gave them both a look that could kill. 

“Aye, dinna worry ‘bout me with all the bags, I’m fine, ye just sit there and eat yer breakfast,” she snapped, as she struggled under the weight of her shopping. 

“Sorry, love, I didna hear ye come in.” Ian jumped to his feet and grabbed the bags from her hands. 

Seizing the rare opportunity of Jenny actually standing in the same room as her, Claire attempted to start a conversation. 

“Why don’t you sit and eat, Jenny? I can help with packing away the shopping once we are finished.”

“Thank ye, but I dinna have the time. ’Tis not a holiday house for all of us, ye ken.” She turned on her heels and walked into the kitchen with Ian trailing behind with the bags, shaking his head and attempting to reprimand his head-strong wife. 

Claire dropped her toast back onto her plate and pushed it away. She was trying so hard to be friendly and show Jenny just how much she cared for Jamie, but no matter what she did, it was never good enough. Despite her best attempts to keep them at bay, tears began to roll down her flustered red cheeks. 

Returning to the dining room and seeing Claire in tears, Ian placed his hand on her shoulder.

“Dinna fash, Claire. She’s stubborn, like all Frasers, but she has a heart of gold. She’ll come around, ye just need to be patient.” He sat beside her and took another bite of his now cold breakfast.

“I saw Jamie’s face when ye walked in yesterday, Claire. Once Jenny sees how happy ye make him, she’ll be fine, trust me.” Pouring himself a coffee and topping up Claire’s without asking, Claire could almost see him thinking, perhaps looking for a way to excuse Jenny’s behaviour.

“She’s a verra overprotective older sister. She's been the woman of the house since Ellen died, ye ken, sae it’s hard for her tae let go.” 

Claire wiped the tears from her cheeks and took a slow deep breath. “I get it, Ian, she just wants what’s best for Jamie, but so do I.”

Wee Jamie returned to the table and attempted to clean the avocado remnants from Claire's lap. His continuous, absent minded singing of _Happy Birthday_ , while making a bigger mess than what was there when he began, helped Claire’s spirits to return to a pre-Jenny jibe level. Eventually Jamie was satisfied with his cleaning work and decided to finally eat while still continuing his singing.

Sitting at the beautiful antique timber table and eating her now cold, but still delicious breakfast with Ian and the kids, Claire looked around the room at all the beautiful photos that lined the walls. There were some very early photos of the young family including Ellen, Jamie’s beautiful mother, and his cute brother Willie. 

A twinge of sadness and a familiar sense of grief hit her heart. Never having siblings and big family like this hurt her to this day. No family photos lined the walls in any of the homes she had shared with her Uncle Lamb, and she had no photo albums to sit and reminisce over. But maybe, if things continued to go well with Jamie, and she could hold her tongue with Jenny long enough to prove her commitment to him, she hoped she finally found the family she has always wanted, here, at Lallybroch.

A clear theme emerged as Claire looked over the rest of the photos– Jenny, hovering by her brother, her hand protectively on his shoulder, or resting on his arm when she could no longer reach it. Many included cousins, aunties and uncles, all smiling or laughing, but Jenny was always fixed right beside Jamie. 

“They are so different aren’t they,” Claire pointed at a photo of a teenage Jamie and Jenny.

“Aye, in looks only, mind ye. They are sae alike in nature, ye willna believe it.” Shaking his head while taking the last bite of his food, Ian began to chuckle. “That’s why they quarrel so much, exactly the bloody same. They’re both hard-headed and stubborn, but also loyal, fierce and protective of those they love.”

“You love her very much don't you? Jamie, too,” Claire smiled. 

“Aye, these damn Frasers. As much as ye wanna kill ‘em at times, ‘tis pretty hard not to love ‘em.” 

On command of Jenny, once breakfast was done and the table cleared, Claire returned upstairs and hastily finished getting ready. 

“Jesus H. Christ,” she mumbled to herself as she struggled to remove the last few knotty tangles from her curls. She hadn’t packed a lot of clothes coming to Scotland so she settled for a warm wooly jumper and jeans. Hardly a sexy look for Jamie’s homecoming, but she was pretty sure he wouldn’t mind a bit. Standing in front of the mirror, she gave herself a nod of approval before walking back downstairs. 

The infectious sounds of children's laughter echoed in the large, cavernous lounge. Much to Claire’s delight, she discovered the source as soon as she reached the bottom of the staircase–cheeky Wee Jamie was sitting on his father's back, riding him around like a pony. “Go, Da, go!” he yelled, waving one hand in the air like a lasso, the other gripping tightly, almost painfully onto Ian’s collar. 

Watching their fun and affectionate play, Claire couldn’t help but imagine Jamie playing with their own children. A want swelled deep inside her, she could picture it so clearly; two red haired little girls or boys jumping all over him as he tickled and kissed their chubby little bellies. 

The depth of her desire took her by surprise and it struck her that in the entire six years she spent with Frank, she’d never once had that feeling, even when the whole of their last year together had been spent trying to conceive. A family had always seemed like something that was expected of her– you get married, you have kids, but she could honestly say she had never _wanted_ it.

Somehow now, it felt so vastly different. Maybe it was because she was in Jamie’s childhood home, or because she was feeling closer to him than ever after their reunion, whatever it was, at that moment, she longed to carry Jamie’s baby in a way that she never felt with Frank.

Ian spotted Claire watching their fun and smiled. “Ye ready to go lass?...ohhh!” he cried painfully after copping a sharp kick right in the ribs. “Aye, that’s enough, phew, horsey needs a wee rest now.” Ian reared up on his knees, bucking the youngster off his back and earning a bundle of laughs from baby Maggie in her high chair.

“Are you alright?” Claire asked Ian as he struggled to his feet, trying and failing to stop laughing at his pain. 

“Aye, nothing this old stallion canna handle.” He was laughing, too, but still holding his ribs and wincing as he walked. “Jenny’s already gone in my car and we’ll go in hers. That way ye and Jamie can come home together, just the two of ye.”

“Thanks, Ian, that's really sweet of you.” 

“Don’t thank me, lass, it was Jen’s idea. See, she doesna hate ye. Well, not as much as she did anyway.”

~~~

Jamie was sitting on the bed, playing chess with his Da, so deep in concentration that he didn’t notice Claire walk into the room. It wasn’t until Wee Jamie ran in calling “Grandda”, that Jamie’s gaze shifted up from the chess board and settled on her. 

Jenny, who had arrived a few moments earlier, completely ignored her and lifted her little boy on the bed for a cuddle. Jamie on the other hand dropped his chess piece and quickly hobbled to her side. He greeted her with a deep, loving kiss, his smile remained fixed the whole time. With his lips still firmly against hers, he sweetly whispered, “Happy Birthday, Sassenach.” 

Claire was overwhelmed by his obvious excitement to see her and was so grateful for it; meeting the parents was never the most relaxed or enjoyable experience. Meeting one in the hospital after two strokes was even more daunting, but Jamie’s joy was contagious and she was determined to put her best foot forward. 

Beaming with pride, Jamie took Claire by the hand and walked her to his da’s bedside. “Well, well, well. Who is this beauty I see before me,” said Brian, winking at Claire.

“Da, this is Dr Claire Beauchamp, my girlfriend.” Claire looked to Jamie and blushed, realising after all they had been through, it was the first time she’d heard him call her his girlfriend.

“I’m so thrilled to meet you,” Claire said, as she shook Brian’s hand firmly, recalling jamie telling her how much his da respected a strong, firm handshake. “Jamie has told me so much about you. It's great to see you looking so well.” 

“I have heard many wonderful things about ye tae, especially how beautiful and intelligent ye are. A true Fraser woman if I’ve ever seen one.” He smiled and winked again, this time at his beaming son. 

“Daa...” Jamie moaned, holding his head in his hand to hide his rapidly spreading blush. 

Brian continued, despite his son's embarrassment. “It’s lovely to have ye here, my dear. Jamie is like a new man since ye arrived.” Jenny scoffed at this, drawing a filthy look from her husband and father. Jamie chose to ignore her and sat himself next to his da on the bed, pulling Claire tightly onto his knee. 

“Oh, before I forget,” Brian said, shifting around in his bed, “A wee red haired birdie told me twas yer birthday, lass.” Jamie’s eyes squinted and he smiled his cutest nose scrunching smile, as Brian's fidgeting continued. His face lit up, just like his son’s did, when he finally found what he was searching for, a birthday card, hidden underneath his pillow. “Happy birthday, my dear.”

Claire opened the card and smiled as she read the beautifully handwritten message inside.

_Dearest Claire, the newest member of Clan Fraser,_

_I am thrilled to have ye here with us to celebrate yer birthday._

_As a lad, Jamie often asked me how ye knew which was the right woman for ye. And I always told him when the time came, he’d have no doubt._

_Well, he has no doubt ‘bout ye Claire, and even without meeting ye, neither do I._

_You make my son happy, and that makes me happy._

_Happy Birthday_

_Brian Fraser_

Claire dropped the card on the bed, hugged Brian and whispered, “Thank you,” before gently kissing his check. She nestled back into Jamie, who was again flushed red with embarrassment after reading his da’s card. 

The adults in the room fell into an easy conversation, except for Jenny, who apart from the occasional scoff or snide comment, remained quiet in the corner of the room with the kids. Claire kept an eye on her and her less than impressed facial expressions conveyed she was thoroughly sick of the attention Claire was receiving. When she excused herself and walked out, Claire decided it was a good time to try to talk things through. “Excuse me for a moment,” Claire said, and marched outside behind her. 

“Jenny, wait.” Ignoring Claire’s calls until she made it outside to the garden, Jenny stopped abruptly. Her hands shot to her hips and her eyes drilled straight into Claire’s, who realised this was possibly the first time she had looked directly at her since she’d arrived.

“What is it that ye need, Claire? Another man, perhaps? A husband and boyfriend not enough for ye?”

“Oh fuck off!” spat Claire. No longer feeling restrained by being in Jenny’s own home, or being in Brian’s presence, Claire didn’t hold back with her response. Using her height to her advantage, she leaned down and stepped intimidatingly close to Jenny's face.

“Listen to me, Jenny,” she whispered, “I know you love your brother, but so do I, very much.” Claire stood straight up, but deliberately remained menacingly close. “Now, I am more than happy to sit down and discuss things like bloody adults, but don’t you fucking dare talk to me like that.”

Jenny was clearly shocked by Claire’s retort, but it didn’t stop her from returning fire. “Who are ye tae talk tae me like that. I’m not the trollop, running around, seducing young men, chasing them across the seas and all while married tae another. Ye have nae right tae be here, Claire, none at all.”

Jenny stormed away, leaving Claire alone near the entrance of the garden. More out of frustration than anything else, deep heavy sobs rattled through her chest. She knew Jenny was displeased by her presence, but the depth of her animosity was a shock. After taking a deep breath to regain her composure, she was just about to return to Jamie when a familiar pair of arms wrapped around her and held her tightly. 

“Dinna fash, Sassenach, she’s stubborn as a mule. I’ve tried tae talk to her, but she willna listen. We can try again, together, tonight if ye like.” Jamie said reassuringly while rubbing his hands on her arms. “But honestly, Sassenach, ye don’t owe her anything.” He spun her around and leaned his forehead on hers. “Please, no more tears. This is supposed to be a happy day, ye are here by my side, Da is improving, and tonight...” he whispered into her ear, as his finger ran down her cheek, “I’m going tae do things tae that body of yers that ye willna believe.” 

Goosebumps covered her body as soon as his arms slipped to her waist and he pulled her into a passionate kiss. “Christ Sassenach,” he whispered, as he kissed her neck and dropped his hand to her ass “tae touch ye again.” 

“Jamie,” Claire sighed breathlessly. “We’re at the hospital, we have to stop.” 

Rain began to fall, as did Claire's inhibitions. Jamie’s hands continued to roam her body, while his eyes darted around the gardens. With no one in sight, he pushed Claire against the nearby wall with one hand, the other remained firmly around her waist, drawing her hips to his.

“I canna help it, Claire. I’ve been dreaming of yer body for days, I wanna take ye right here.” He cupped her breasts and gnawed hungrily at her neck.

“I heard ye swearing at Jenny, Sassenach. Ye’re so damn sexy when ye talk all nasty.” With the wry, crooked smile that Claire loved plastered on his face, his strong hand slid under her thick wooly jumper and blouse, desperate to feel her, skin on skin. It felt so good to have him touch her like this again, too good, she began to forget the fact that they were in the hospital’s garden, in clear view of any passersby. 

Claire tried to speak, to resist, but Jamie's fingers sliding over and greedily caressing and pinching her hardened nipples had left her speechless. She could feel his firmness pressing into her and she wanted so badly to surrender to anything he asked of her. 

The icy cold Scottish rain continued to beat down upon them and they quickly found themselves wet. Neither cared however, as weeks of built up tension and frustration burst free. Claire's hips were wantonly moving, grinding against Jamie’s now rock hard length, seeking relief to the intolerable ache building between her legs.

“Take me home, Jamie.Take me home to Lallybroch,” Claire begged, as he bit and suckled her ear. Her body was melting under his touch as her near frozen hands fumbled with his button and zip, trying to force their way inside his pants. Jamie threw his head back and pleaded, “touch me Claire,” as she finally managed to undo his zip.

“Uncle Jamie.” 

A little voice behind them caused an immediate end to any further shenanigans. They looked down to see Wee Jamie hanging onto the bottom of his uncle’s jacket. 

“Shit,” Claire groaned disappointingly, she released her grip on Jamie’s cock, but not before one last naughty little squeeze. “Christ Sassenach!” he screeched through his clenched teeth– his voice shot up a decibel or two and Claire snickered at the displeased, yet still very sexy look she received. He stood hunched over, cursing and sucking in a few deep breaths. 

“Aye, what is it lad? Where’s yer Mam or Da?” Jamie, forced to cover his bulging erection with his hands, was unable to hide his annoyance at the interruption.

_Pog Ma Mahon, Jenny!_

Attempting to readjust her bra from her collarbone while scanning the gardens, Claire was relieved that Jenny was nowhere in sight. Witnessing her brother hopelessly trying to hide his massive boner in public while speaking to her innocent son, was hardly the way to convince her of the merits of their relationship. 

“Mam said tae come and get ye, Grampa needs ye,” 

“For fecks sake,” Jamie mumbled under his breath. Claire laughed and slapped him on the arm, then took the boy’s hand and followed him inside. Jamie lagged behind, now appreciating the cold as he begged his erection to settle. 

The one positive thing to come from the interruption to them _getting reacquainted_ , was the warmth that greeted them as they re-entered the hospital, walking hand-in-hand and smiling joyfully like goofy teens. Unfortunately, their joy did not last as a chaotic scene awaited them in Brian’s room. 

A nurse ran past them as they approached, and quickly pulled the curtain closed to hide whatever was happening. Jenny and Ian were standing outside the door with a look of shock and terror on their faces.

Jenny launched herself at Jamie as soon as she saw him.

“I dinna know what happened Jamie. He was just sitting there talking about ye and Claire, then all of a sudden he started tae shake and his eyes rolled back into his head.”

With a gentle touch on Jenny's shoulder, Claire stepped in and offered her help. “Let me see if I can find out what's happening.” She slipped into the room and spoke to one of the nurses, who shared what was going on and allowed her to read Brian's chart. Claire could feel Jamie's eyes burning into her the whole time, so she tried her best not to show any emotion, despite feeling distressed at what she was witnessing.

She returned to Jamie’s side, not wanting to be the one to cause him any more hurt than she already had. Taking his hand in hers, she kissed it sweetly, before breaking the news. 

“Brian’s having a seizure. He's still in the midst of it at the moment so we have to stay out here.” Jamie’s grip on her hand tightened as she spoke, and he held her even closer, seeking her body for support. “If it goes much longer, they will give him medication called Midazolam. It’s a sedative and we use it to stop convulsive seizures that have lasted longer than five minutes.”

“A seizure? But he’s never had one before, I dinna understand.” Jenny cried, collapsing into Ian’s arms, while Jamie stood silently, his eyes fixed onto Claire's hand.

“It's not uncommon after a stroke,” Claire replied, gently rubbing Jenny on the arm. “Once he is stable, they will do some scans to check if there's any issue that's causing the seizure activity. I know it’s scary, but it’s something they can deal with, and something we can deal with, trust me.”

Five agonising minutes passed before the nurse Claire had spoken with came out to talk with them. He had no good news; the seizure had not ceased, and they were about to give the Midazolam, the medication the doctor had mentioned earlier. After promising he would come and let them know as soon as there were any changes, he returned to Brian’s side.

Claire turned to Jamie, “We may be here for a while, it might be best to take the kids home. I can take them if you three want to stay,”

“No, we need ye here, Claire,” Jenny grabbed Claire by the arm, and almost begged. “Ye understand what’s happening, please stay. Ian can take the kids home and I can come home with the two of ye later.” Jenny kissed Ian, wee Jamie and Maggie and waved goodbye as tears burst from her eyes. “What if they never see him again, Jamie? They love him so much, how would I tell them?”

“He’s not going to die, Jenny, we have tae stay calm and have faith that he’ll be alright,” he looked at Claire for reassurance and she was sure he was trying to convince himself that his da would be alright, as much as his sister.

“Jamie is right Jenny. Even if the stroke triggers some form of epilepsy, it’s normally very manageable. We need to stay positive and wait for the scans.”

The three of them stayed outside the room, pacing the halls and drinking the tasteless, horrible hospital canteen’s coffee for an hour or so, until the nurse observing Brian called them into the room. 

“He looks sae peaceful,” Jamie whispered, afraid of waking his now sleeping father.

“He may sleep for a few hours,” said a doctor standing by the bed. “As expected, he responded very well to the Midazolam. All his vitals are good and hopefully, this will be a one-off event, but there is just no way to know for sure.”

Jenny snuggled under the crook of Jamie’s arm and looked over to Claire. “Ye really think he’ll be okay after this? It wouldn't cause any brain damage or another stroke?”

“We really need to wait and see,” she replied. “A seizure of that length _shouldn't_ cause any damage, but there’s no way of knowing unless we were to see a structural issue on his scans.” 

The doctor excused himself and left. Jamie kissed Jenny on the forehead, but his eyes focused on Claire’s, desperately seeking her support. “It’s going tae be okay, I can feel it,” he said. He nodded towards Claire, almost for confirmation of his words. 

“He’s right Jenny, I’m sure he’s going to be fine.” _He has to be._

_~~_

Claire and Jamie were alone for the first time since he had left Melbourne. 

After things had settled down at the hospital, they returned to Lallybroch. Jamie, only agreeing to leave once he had been assured several times by Jenny and the nurse on duty, that they would call him immediately if there was any change in Brian's condition.

On their return home, they had helped by feeding and bathing the kids, while Ian finished up his farm duties. Jamie had animatedly read a bedtime story and Wee Jamie, Maggie and Ian too, were all fast asleep before he reached the last page. 

The ease and comfort Claire and Jamie felt with each other earlier in the day had disappeared, as they sat on opposite sides of his bed, in silence. Nothing but one arm's length, memories, and a ridiculous amount of sexual tension sat between them.

The unrelenting turmoil they had endured in the past weeks hung in the air like a thick Scottish fog. Claire desperately wanted to heal the open wounds in their relationship, to talk and share the burden they were both under, but after the events of the day and with Jamie still recovering from the accident, she was becoming less sure if now was the right time. 

She stood and walked to the fireplace, hyper aware of Jamie’s eyes boring a hole into the back of her head. As she warmed her hands over the roaring flames, her mind rushed to find the most appropriate thing to say.

 _Should I mention my birthday?_ _Do we talk about Frank?_ _Was it selfish to try and talk now? Should I just jump him?_

With the last option appealing to her more than anything else she could come up with, she looked up from the fire and spotted the little wooden snake that had so captured her attention when she first arrived at Lallybroch. Happy to find a distraction, she picked it up and studied it closely.

“This is cute,” she said, as she traced her fingers over the engraved lettering on its belly. 

“Aye, that’s Sawny. My brother, Willie, carved it for me before he died. It’s one of the only things I have left of him. It’s verra precious to me, as are you Claire.” 

Rising from the bed, he began to move towards her. A heartrending yet longing look crossed his face and he raised his arms slightly, as though he was about to hold her. But suddenly he stopped, his arms dropped to his side, his face changed and fear, or perhaps anger, flashed in his eyes.

“I ken I dinna want tae talk about it before Claire, but can ye help me to understand bout ye and this, Frank.” His fists clenched just saying Frank's name and he paced back and forth between the door and the bed.

“Ye’re obviously not together, and I ken why after reading yer letter. But I still dinna understand why ye never told me ye were married?” 

Jamie returned to his bed, his eyes shifted to the floor but Claire could see they had become glazed with a glassy layer of tears. As he blinked, they dripped from his eyelids and slid down over his perfect cheekbones. He bit the inside of his cheek in an attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from his mouth. Claire’s heart sank at the sight.

“Honestly, Jamie, I didn't keep anything from you intentionally,” she said. “I know I should have told you, but whenever we're together, I just...I’m totally consumed by my feelings for you. You made me so happy, I just never thought about him.”

Weeping uncontrollably, Claire felt the all too familiar sensation of vomit, rising in her throat, but she had to push through and convince Jamie that Frank was her past and he was her future.

“I hadn't seen or spoken to him in over two years. Then he called me out of the blue with this bullshit story about our divorce not being legal.” She moved slightly closer to Jamie, her face covered with tears as she pleaded with him to listen. “You have to believe me, I had no idea until the day before you saw those god damn messages on my phone.”

Raking his hands through his curls and unable to sit still, he returned to pacing the room. “Do you...did he…was there?” He attempted to respond to Claire several times, but would stop before forming any complete sentences, unable to find the right, or safe way to express himself. His pacing stopped with his back towards her, his head hung down despondently and took a slow, deep breath. 

“It hurts me to ask ye this Claire, but I must know either way. Do ye still love him? Could that be why ye didna tell me?” 

Claire gasped and her body lurched backward, his words hitting her like a punch in the guts. 

“No! God no, Jamie!” She choked. “I don’t have any feelings for him, love or hate. You drove any memories of Frank and his cold English heart from my mind. Since I met you, I forgot that he existed.”

A desperate urge formed deep inside her. She wanted to run to him, to hold him close, hear him tell her ‘ _everything is ok, Sassenach, all is forgiven._ ’ But he remained silent for several agonising heartbeats.

Slowly, he turned to face her, and though his eyes burned red from tears, there was the slightest hint of a smile on the corners of his lips. He nodded, seemingly to acknowledge what Claire was saying. 

“Ye really did hurt me Claire, but...” 

“I’ve spoken to a solicitor about the divorce,” she interjected before he could finish. “It’s all underway and will be finalised in the next few weeks. I’ll never have to deal with him again. I am free and I want to be with you, Jamie, only you.”

Breathing heavily, his eyes softened as they finally met hers. “I want ye too, Claire.” 

They stood not a meter apart, but it felt like miles. Edging closer but with her gaze fixed to the floor, she looked up to him beneath her fringe to find that his eyes remained locked onto hers― so intense, so knowing and so blue, she feared she might drown if she stared too long. Instinctively, she reached out her hand and lay it gently over his heart. 

“I hope you are okay with me coming here Jamie. I hated the way we left things.”

Daring to take another step closer, Claire could feel his heart pounding through his broad chest, he bit his lip and released a soft moan as she pressed herself against him. Face to face, hip to hip, nothing came between them but the layers of fabric she was so desperate to be torn out of.

“I couldn't forget how sad you sounded when you talked about your father, and when Ian told me about the car accident, I just knew you needed me. I felt like my place was here, by your side.” 

Jamie grabbed her roughly by the arms and kissed her, his stubbled jaw brushed roughly against her skin and the saltiness on his lips was a reminder of the tears he had shed just moments ago. He gently suckled her bottom lip as he pulled back and smiled, sweeping her into his arms and holding her so tight, she felt she might break into pieces. 

He took her hand and led her to the window seat where he pulled her to his lap. Claire nuzzled into his chest and breathed him in. She had been so fearful that he would reject her, that she would never feel those arms around her again, but here she was, safely cocooned in his embrace.

“I knew ye belonged here with me, at Lallybroch, almost from the moment I first saw ye. I wanted ye more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life,” His hand slid from her arm and came to rest on her cheek, gently he turned her face to his.

“But I loved ye, when ye wept in my arms that day at the hospital. Now, I wake up everyday and find that I love ye more than I did the day before.” 

_He loves me!_

Claire was overjoyed and spun herself off his lap to reciprocate, but his mouth was upon her before she could utter a word. She parted her lips and felt his tongue slide over her teeth and urgently meet hers. His love washed over her like an endless summer wave, curling her toes, unfurling all her senses as the taste of him silenced almost all her doubts.

Claire pulled away briefly, she needed to say these words as much as Jamie needed to hear them. 

“I love you James Fraser.” 

Their lips met again and she threw her arms around his neck, kissing him with every ounce of passion in her body. She wanted him more than ever, but _needed_ his forgiveness. She grabbed him by the chin and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Can you forgive me Jamie? Honestly, do you believe what I’ve told you?”

“Aye, I believe ye Sassenach. I dinna understand it all, not yet, but I trust ye. I trust there’s a truth between us, so whatever ye tell me, I will believe ye.”

She drove her hands into his hair and pulled him as close as humanly possible. 

“Christ, I’ve missed ye Claire,” he smoldered against her lips. He lifted her from her feet and carried her to the bed, throwing her down, tearing off her shirt and diving on top of her. Their tongues danced against each other while his giant hands roamed her body, quickly settling and moulding her bountiful ass. 

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Yer ass is the roundest thing I've ever seen. Do ye have any idea what it does to me?”

“I’m starting to get the feeling, yes,” Claire laughed breathlessly as she rubbed herself against his bulging erection, desperate to feel him against her aching flesh. She was losing herself to the moment, to his touch and taste, but she had something else she wanted to talk about before she lost herself to him completely. 

“Jamie, there’s just one more thing we need to talk about.” 

“Can it not wait, Sassenach? I dinna feel like talking right now, I need yer body Claire” He gripped her hands, pinned them down beside her hips and pounded his hardness against her pulsing core.

_Jesus H Christ!_

“Fuck Jamie, that’s...oh I’ve..been thinking” she stammered, barely able to focus as his tongue roamed distractingly up her neck and along her jawline. 

“I love that you were waiting for sex and... Oooh god!” He had taken a firm grasp of her breasts and was twirling his tongue over her hardened nipples. 

“Jamie stop! I want _us_ to wait for sex!” 

He stopped instantly, completely frozen, just as he was about to take her breast into his mouth. His face remained firmly planted between her bosom and a muffled sound, maybe a giggle was all she could hear.

Slowly, he lifted his eyes to hers and his expression was priceless, he looked so beautifully surprised and genuinely happy. 

“Are ye sure Claire? ‘Tis not an easy thing tae do, I can assure ye of that,” he said with a crooked grin. 

“Yes, I am sure.” She placed her finger under his chin and lifted his face to hers. “Jamie, as much as I want you, I know there is something between us, something special and rare. I want to nurture it. I’m not saying we have to wait forever, just a little while longer.” 

A tear spilled from Jamie’s eye and he swept her curls from her forehead and kissed her lovingly. 

“Aye, I think ‘tis a bonny idea, Claire. We do have something special.” He sweetly kissed the palm of her hand, then her wrist, then planted dozens of tiny kisses all the way up her arms before returning to her breasts. 

“I would wait a thousand years tae be with ye, tae lie with ye. We’ll know when ‘tis right Sassenach.” As soon as the words had left his mouth, his lips were upon her again. 

This time though, Claire decided it was her turn to take control. She grabbed his arms and forcibly flipped him onto his back, surprising him with her unexpected strength. 

“You know,” she said teasingly, “even without sex, there's still plenty of fun to be had.” 

With an evil laugh and wicked glint in her eye, Claire pinned Jamie’s arms above his head and gave a stern nod to imply they were to stay put.

Tenderly, she removed his shirt and kissed his body, starting with his lips. She kissed and licked all the way down his tight, toned chest and stomach where she took a sneaky bite, causing him to jump in a pleasurable pain. 

“Do you want me to stop?” she whispered.

“Nah,” he smirked, “If ye bed wi’ a vixen, ye must expect tae get bit.”

Claire raised one eyebrow and slipped one hand inside his jeans, tightly gripping his engorged cock and working it back and forth. His hips lifted from the bed and he moaned with each stroke. 

Not letting him enjoy it for long, she gave him a firm squeeze before withdrawing her hand. He whined at the sudden disruption but was happy to see her unzip his fly and set him free.

She kissed his stomach and hips, then hovered, just above her intended destination. She lowered her head and began to lick the tip, then enjoying the moment of torturing him, slid her tongue back to his stomach. He threw his head back in frustration, he knew her plan and he wanted it now. 

Her tongue began a deliberately slow descent from his belly button down, until she finally reached his already glistening length and took him into her mouth. 

Jamie whimpered and bit his lip– the sensation racing from his cock and spreading throughout his body was overwhelming, and one he had never experienced. She began to work her mouth up and down it’s length, then switched to licking from his base to his tip, each time circling his head. “Oh Claire, I...It feels sae good, please...dinna stop.”

His animated reactions drove her to delve deep, and take as much of him into her mouth as she could. Working at a harder pace, she sucked and licked as his hips began to move with her. He grabbed her hair and pulled it tightly. “Oh Claire, I can’t...I’m gonna come.” 

She grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed, moving her hands in time with her mouth. He moaned and arched his back, his body tensed as he thrust up and spilled inside her mouth. She continued to move up and down on him, draining him of his cum. She looked up, desperate to see his reaction as he remained pulsing on her tongue. 

He sat up and watched as she licked him clean, moaning as her tongue took its last taste, then fell back on the bed and sighed. He lay perfectly still but blinking rapidly, almost in disbelief, his only body movement was the heavy rise and fall of his broad, muscular chest. Sweat beaded on his brow and a smile, as big as she has ever seen, was spread across his face. 

She rolled to her side and grabbed a towel to clean herself up, then slipped back by his side to cuddle underneath his waiting arm. He gave her a cheeky wink, then with the cutest little sigh of contentment slipping from his mouth with each still panting breath, he closed his eyes and drifted off, still grinning from ear to ear. 

Claire lay watching him sleep, feeling so grateful for his forgiveness and trust. To be here like this with him again was everything, _he_ was everything. Completely exhausted, she could feel her eyes becoming heavy and was ready to join him in slumber. She closed her eyes and made him a silent promise.

_I will never hurt you again._

~~~

The next few days were harrowing for all– Brian suffered 2 more seizures and with no structural issues found on his MRI, he was diagnosed with epilepsy. Anti-seizure medication was commenced but unlike the days following his strokes, he was feeling quite well despite it all.

Jamie, who was healing well at home and lapping up Doctor Clarie's full attention, was helping out as much as he could on the farm, but he was still not up to his normal abilities. He and Claire had planned to fly back to Melbourne early the following week, but with each passing day, Claire became more and more concerned about Jamie leaving his sister. 

The stress of witnessing her father’s seizures, caring for him all day, then returning home to two young children and her farm duties were starting to take a toll on her. Clearly exhausted, she had fallen asleep at the dinner table last evening and was carried to bed by Ian. 

Two days before their intended departure, Claire's first thought upon waking was Jenny. Jamie was thinking of other things as per usual and was busy nuzzling into his favorite part of her neck.

“Jamie, I’ve been thinking,” she said. “Mmm, so have I Sassenach,” he said as he pulled her firmly against his morning erection. “Not about that,” she laughed, slapping his arm, “about Jenny.” 

His firm grip loosened, “way to kill the mood, Beauchamp,” he scoffed.

Apparently the mood wasn’t permanently killed as he grabbed her and pulled her back almost immediately. 

She tried to ignore his busy hands but a tiny giggle escaped her mouth as he attempted to pull up her nightgown. “Jamie! I mean it. I think you should stay here with her and Ian. I have to go back Wednesday as planned, but I think it’s important you stay. They need you, Jamie, they can’t manage everything themselves,” shimming out of his grasp, she rolled to face him. 

Missing her body against him instantly, he sighed and rolled onto his back, kicking his legs in a little faux tantrum. “I dinna wanna be apart from ye, Sassenach, no’ for a day,” He buried his head under his pillow for a few moments, before reemerging with a cute little pout. His beautiful curls lay over his eyes and Claire just _had_ to kiss his forehead. _God, he really is adorable_

“I ken ye’re right though,” he whined. “They do need me here. Are ye sure ye canna stay any longer? I need ye tae.” Claire wanted nothing more than to stay but she had to return or she would risk losing her position in the residency program. “Hopefully it will just be a week or two, but I do need to go back. I don’t want to risk my residency.” 

“Aye, ye canna do that Sassenach,” he agreed. “Ye have worked tae hard tae get where ye are, I ken that. I just hate the thought of being here without ye.”

Claire's body melted into him, feeling warm, safe and lucky to have found a man that truly understood just how much her career meant to her. His love for her was something she had never felt before, it was expressed in his every word, touch and action. 

“Jamie, I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you understand that. I love you.” 

“And I ye.” he whispered, as he snuggled back against her, muttering sweet gaelic musings into her ear. With her peachy round ass wedged firmly into him, the heat permeating from his body was irresistible. 

Claire could feel his hardness pulsing, and she couldn't help but teasingly wriggle her ass against him. It resulted in him pulling her closer and closer with each cheeky wriggle and his hands alternating between running up and down her legs, and cupping her ass cheeks. 

With his body practically begging for her, she surrendered to the growing ache in her core. Slowly and much to Jamie’s delight, she slipped on top of him and released her nightgown from her shoulders, baring her perfect breasts. Straddling his hardened length, her hands leant on and pushed off his toned stomach as her hips rolled over his bulge, eagerly seeking and finding the friction her body demanded. 

“Mmhh, Jamie...” Those wee noises, the one she knew drove him crazy, began to escape from her lips. Leaning down, she swept her hair to one side, exposing her beautiful long neck. “I guess we have to make the most of the time we have left, James.”

Jamie cocked his eyebrow and chased her lips as she teasingly pulled away from him, unable to bear their distance from his, and desperate to feel them against his own. His hands tightly gripped her hips and pulled her down firmly against his cock. Both threw their heads back as they moaned, ground and thrust into each other. 

“I guess ye’re right Sassenach.” 

  
  



	8. Blackness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jamie...” she moaned into his ear, “you shouldn’t have kissed me like that!”

Claire stood on the banks of the River Forth, shivering and laughing herself silly, as her near-naked beau splashed about like a drunken sailor gone overboard.

“T-Tis not c-cold, S-ss-sas-sassenach, I swear t-tae ye.” 

Now late Autumn, the weather was unbearably cold this time of the morning; the Highlands were beautiful in the early hours of the day, but bloody freezing, even for an English woman. 

Determined to make her last two days in Scotland unforgettable, Jamie had planned a horseback tour of Lallybroch and the surrounding lands. Unable to sleep and up with the sparrows, he insisted they take advantage of the clear weather and set off at an ungodly predawn hour. 

They rode through the nearby hills, past quaint, historic villages that had now merged into bustling new suburbs. They continued riding down the coast, till they reached Blackness Castle, and a little secret hiding spot Claire was sure had been the scene of many a local teen’s loss of virginity. 

It was a truly beautiful and thoroughly Scottish location; the views stretched out for miles over the water and the centuries-old castle stood stoically in the background. 

“Jamie, there is no way I’m getting in that bloody water. I can see your teeth chattering from here!” she yelled across the water.

“Och, ‘tis not from the cold, ‘tis from anticipation,” he said, grinning cheekily as his pants came flying at Claire's head. “I just can’t wait tae get ye in here and see yer nipples, hard and firm, s-st-staring back at me like two ripe c-ch-cherries.” 

Completely naked, his hands attempted with little success to cover his more than generous manhood as he motioned with his head for her to join him. She knew how cold he must be feeling and really dreaded the thought of it, but damn, he looked irresistible. 

Still fully dressed, Claire rolled her pants to her knees, urging herself to take the plunge. She dipped her toe in the shallows, then squealed and quickly withdrew as soon as the icy water lapped up to her ankles. 

“I want to, Jamie, I do, but I don't know if I can do it,” she said, rubbing her frozen feet together in an attempt to bring them back to life. 

“I promise ye, Sassenach, I will keep ye warm and safe. Well actually, I canna guarantee yer safety, but I willna let ye feel the cold, I can promise ye that.” 

His face, so alive with conflicting looks of complete innocence and fierce, passionate desire made Claire abandon all rationale. She couldn’t resist him and ran into the water, peeling her jumper and shirt off in one move. Her pants clung to her curves and were completely drenched by the time she reached Jamie’s open arms. She lunged at him, their lips connected brutally and her momentum forced them both backwards into the water. 

“FECK ME!” Jamie screamed as he emerged from the icy cold water with Claire gripping tightly to his side, laughing helplessly as he struggled to find his footing on the slippery rocks. 

Claire watched with awe as he moved through the water, holding her up in one arm, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. He looked like he was shooting a Calvin Klein commercial. The water glistened off his muscular chest as he ran his hand through his soaking hair, shaking it to remove the excess water. 

“You are the most ridiculous human being, but God, you’re gorgeous,” she said, looking straight into his eyes. 

“Ye’re not so bad yerself, Sassenach,” he commented back with a cheeky grin.

He pulled her even tighter, and his lips were on hers the moment he finished speaking, while his hands went straight to her ass, tugging furiously at her jeans as the icy water lapped around them. 

“Damn these things to hell! I think the zippers rusted up!” he laughed. “They’re so fecken’ tight. If I canna get ‘em off, ye’ll be getting married in ‘em.”

“Like hell!” cursed Claire. She wanted out of those pants and nothing was going to stop her. She pushed Jamie's hands away and yanked feverishly at the zippers until her hand slipped and flew up, slapping Jamie square in the face. 

“Aye, ‘tis like that, is it? First, ye try tae drown me, now ye’re beating me,” Jamie accused with faux sadness in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, I just need to get out of this thing,” she laughed, planting a soft kiss on his abused cheek to make it better.

Jamie nuzzled into her neck and skillfully removed her bra while Claire continued to struggle with her jeans. She had given up on the zippers and was just trying to squeeze them down over her hips and round ass. 

Jamie suddenly took a deep breath and ducked his head underwater. Dragging Claire about like a rag doll, he pushed and pulled and ripped at her metal zippers, till it finally loosened. He rose to the surface, took another breath, and dove back down, determined for her body to be free. Finally, just as he was about to give up, the jeans and panties gave way and slid down over her thighs. Still underwater, he kissed between her legs causing Claire to almost doubled over in ecstasy.

“Aha! Now ye’re all mine!” He cheered as he emerged from the water, quickly gathering her clothes, throwing them to shore, and wrapping his arms around her once again.

Wading deeper into the river, he pushed her upwards, allowing her legs to again, wrap around his waist as she lowered her head to suck and nibble his bottom lip.

As the mixture of excitement and exhilaration coursed through his body, he struggled to maintain his grip on her ass; his trembling arms almost dropping her, as she began flicking her tongue against his.

Claire could feel his erection throbbing, pushing up against her ass cheeks. She rubbed herself against his rigid cock while gratefully admiring his fortitude; even in the freezing water, he was deliciously hard. He kissed her again, hard and raw, then buried his face into her chest and took her breast into his mouth.

“Jamie...” she moaned into his ear, “you shouldn’t have kissed me like that!” She knew this was getting dangerously good, her body was crying out for more and she could feel her resolve washing away with the current that flowed so strongly around them.

Her movement intensified as his pubic hair rubbed against her center and tickled her clit. The sensation as they moved through the water was amazing; the contrast between the coldness of their surroundings and the heat of their bodies was intoxicating.

She worked hard against him, searching for the right angle and the right amount of friction that would satisfy her hunger, but no matter how she drove her hips against him, or how hard he thrust against her, this time, it wasn't enough; her body ached to feel him, to feel all of him.

Unable to exist another moment without him inside her, she spread her legs wider and moved her body to just the right height. Reaching between her legs, she took his burning hot length in her grip and lined it up to her opening.

“I want you inside me, Jamie,” she moaned. 

“No, no,” he said, shaking his head. “Not like this.”

“Jamie, look at me,” she grabbed his chin with one hand, forcefully, while the other remained tightly around him, stroking his cock, and with determined eyes, she demanded, “do it now, and don't be gentle.”

“Claire, are ye sure? Ye said ye wanted tae wa...”

She kissed him hard, stopping his words before they escaped his lips, then dragging his lip between her teeth as she pulled away. 

“Yes, Jamie. Please, I need you inside me!” She pleaded. 

He didn't ask again, he didn’t dare; the almost maddening need was written all over her face that he just couldn’t deny her any longer, not when he needed her just as badly. 

His hands, his legs, his whole body was shaking; she was unsure if it was the freezing water or his first-time nerves to blame. He wrapped his hand over hers — still gripping his cock firmly — he nodded, then drove hard and deep, both cried out as he filled her. He stopped, pausing inside, his head fell backward as her tight, wet warmth enveloped him, “Christ, Claire.”

Her head dropped against his shoulder as he filled and stretched her centre, his size took her breath away; she had been waiting, fantasizing about this moment since that first night at the bar, and it was so much more than she expected.

She leaned back, trusting his strong arms to support her while she watched him hungrily. He stood motionless, biting down hard on his lip and clenching his jaw; his face, a perfect combination of bliss and concentration. She smiled and wiped his curls from his brow, she needed to see his eyes as he felt her for the first time.

Understanding he was in new territory and finding herself enjoying the sense of control, she further arched her back and began to rock onto him, desperate to feel him move inside her.

Following her cues, he pushed up and into her, again and again, deeper and deeper, each time drawing a louder cry from her. It became a vicious circle, the louder she moaned, the harder he pushed. Jamie threw his head back and groaned breathlessly as he tried desperately to hang on, gripping her luscious ass as though his life depended on its closeness. 

Again, Jamie bit into his lip in a vain attempt to find some control of the carnal sounds that were flying from his mouth. She knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, she could feel him pulsing inside her and his stomach muscles clenching. Wanting so badly to climax with him, she let go of her grip on his neck and furiously rubbed her clit. The sight of Claire touching herself was too much for Jamie, “Oh fuck!” 

Any control he had was gone, he thrust wildly inside her, almost stumbling as he pounded her again and again.

“Come in me Jamie, come inside me,” she screamed as she continued to rub her clit. She leaned in and kissed him, calling his name with her lips against his as they came as one. 

Her whole body trembled with ecstasy; he ran his long finger from her lip, down her chin to her neck, and circled her velvety soft, goosebumps covered breasts. 

Still, inside, he could feel her tightness slowly relax as the orgasmic wave washed over her.

“Tha mi tog an sgàin mo chridhe,” Jamie whispered as his hands tightened his grip across her back. 

“What did you say?” Claire replied, breathlessly into his ear.

Embarrassed, he smiled and chuckled against her lips. “I thought my heart was gonna burst.” 

He kissed her softly and they stared into each other's eyes, both glistening with tears. No words were spoken, they didn’t need to be, both knew how the other was feeling, thinking. They remained in the water, clinging onto each other, letting what they had just shared melt deep into their memories.

“Oops,” Claire said with a smile, once she had recovered her ability to speak.

“Aye,” Jamie laughed looking at Claire. “To be honest Claire, I’m surprised we lasted as long as we did. I knew ye wouldna be able to keep yer hands off me.” 

Claire playfully slapped him on the bum and snuggled in the crook of his neck, pressing her lips just below his ear. They stayed cocooned in each other's arms until the distant buzz of morning traffic became louder and the water temperature unbearable. 

They swam back to shore and searched for their scattered items of clothing, all the while smiling, giggling, and blaming each other for their loss of self-control and their inability to sustain their abstinence agreement, not even for one day. Claire could feel Jamie's eyes burning into her the whole time, he was glowing and seemingly unable to wipe the smile of satisfaction and pride on his face. 

Kissing her hand with almost every step he took, they returned to their horses, and Claire watched on as Jamie began poking around in the large saddle bag she had seen him sneak something in earlier. He pulled out a tightly wrapped plaid — possibly an old Fraser kilt — and unfolded it to reveal a multitude of snacks and a bottle of Claire's favorite wine. He proudly held it up for her inspection, “’Tis five o’clock somewhere, Sassenach.”

Holding her hand tightly, he led her down a narrow pebble path, under a beautiful moss-covered gateway and out onto the lawned area that sat in the shadows of the stone castle wall. 

Ever the perfectionist, Jamie would not allow Claire to sit until he had arranged all the goodies neatly, and had a glass of wine poured, ready for her to drink. 

“You spoil me too much, Mr. Fraser,” she said as she sat snugly beside him. She dipped her finger into the velvety whipped cream he had brought to accompany the fresh Lallybroch grown strawberries. Jamie's eyes stayed on her the whole time as she licked the cream from her fingers, then dipped a strawberry into the cream, and placed it in his mouth. 

“Christ, I'd take ye right here again, Claire... If we were no’ in full view of that bloody tourist bus.” They both laughed and waved to the onlookers as they filed off the bus that had parked opposite them and shuffled past into castle grounds. 

With a raised brow, Claire took another cream-laden strawberry into her mouth, sucked the cream clean off, then took a massive bite of the sweet berry. 

“I’m glad the bus wasn’t here for our _swim,_ that would have been a memorable sight for them all,” she smirked.

Cream came flying out of Jamie’s mouth as he burst out laughing, almost choking on the berry. 

“Aye, they would never forget that,” he chuckled. His face changed suddenly as he brushed Claire's chin with his fingers, and cupped her cheek in his strong hand. 

“Neither will I, Sassenach.” He kissed her so tenderly, and sweetly, it brought a tear to Claire’s eye. 

“Jamie, was it like you thought it would be?” Claire asked softly. She looked awkwardly at the ground, nervously plucking grass and feeling slightly embarrassed. 

Claire had always been a sexually confident woman, always knowing what she wanted, what she liked. But Jamie did _something_ to her, unlike anything she had known, unlike anything she had thought could even exist. With Jamie, even when in control, she felt weak, like he could demand anything of her, could do anything to her, and she would be unable to resist. He had shaken her to her very core, she needed him like she needed air to breathe. She was desperate to hear that he felt what she did, that same undefinable, undeniable chemistry.

“Aye, ‘twas more than I could have ever imagined,” his hand shifted back to her chin, raising it so her eyes, flooded with tears, met his. Her heart raced on his touch, and she knew, with that one look, with that gentle, tender touch, he felt it too.

”Cause it was with ye. Yer face is my heart Sassenach, and the love of ye is my soul.” His lips pressed so hard against hers, she fell back against the grass, still damp with morning dew. 

Unfazed by the passersby and their still wet clothes, he lay on top of her and caressed her hair, smoothing the curls back behind her ear.

“I want to ask ye something tae if I can. Did ye like it?” He asked a little shyly, in stark contrast to his continued public displays of affection. 

“Yes, I did Jamie. I did like it. Couldn’t you tell?” Claire tried to suppress her giggles but failed miserably. An adorable soft blush rose to Jamie’s cheeks and Claire couldn’t help but kiss each rosy part of his face she could find.

“Aye, ye sounded like ye enjoyed it, but, I ken it didna last long. I promise I'll do better next time.” He kissed her again and pressed himself harder against her hips.

“You're already planning a next time? And what might this ‘next time’ entail exactly?” Claire asked softly, pushing back from underneath him. 

"Well, I shall take you on my knee and kiss ya," he says. "Then I shall lay you down, twist your hair up in my hand, taste your mouth..."

“Excuse me, mam. Would you mind taking a photo of us in front of this castle here?” A rather large shadow appeared above them, shadow belonging to a large, loud, Texan sounding gentleman. He wore possibly the largest hat ever made and leaned over the top of the loved up duo and casually dropped his camera beside Claire's shoulder. 

Jamie, who was regretting his decision to lay atop of Claire, slipped off of her to the side and was forced to lay chest down on the blanket, trying his hardest to hide his growing erection. 

Claire politely agreed, picked up the camera, and took several quick shots of the man and his young, busty wife, who seemed to have more of an eye for Jamie, than showing interest in a picture with her husband. Jamie remained with his face buried into the blanket, shoulders shook with laughter as several other couples started to line up beside Claire, requesting for photos. She was too polite to decline of course and remained stuck for quite some time.

Once Claire had completed her impromptu photographic duties, they packed up their picnic leftovers and mounted the horses for the journey home.

It was an uncomfortable ride back; the cold morning air had done little to aid in the drying of the clothes. Both rode in still damp jeans that made the most inappropriate sounds as they shifted and squished against their saddles. 

“That haggis Jenny served us last night not sitting well wit’ ye, Claire? I can hear ye farting from here,” Jamie teased, playfully wrinkling his nose. 

“It is my jeans, thank you. You bloody know it is, I can hear yours, too!” Claire countered, rolling her eyes while pointing at Jamie’s jeans.

“Nah, ‘tis my ass. ‘Tis why I knew it was the haggis ye see,” he chuckled, thoroughly amused by his own joke.

They laughed and chatted the whole ride home, talking about the events at the castle with the tourists. Occasionally the memory of her impending departure would force its way into Claire’s mind, but she was quick to dismiss it each time, refusing to let anything ruin the time they had left.

Nearing home, they were passing through a neighbouring farm when they heard a loud voice called out from behind them. 

“Jamie Fraser! Well, I’ll be damned, two sightings in as many weeks. How are ye lad?” 

“Hamish, good tae see ye again,” Jamie said as Hamish rode closer and stopped beside them. 

“What are ye doing out here?” Jamie asked as they shook hands.

“This farm belongs to my wife's family, I just came out today tae check the fences. Who’s this ye have wit ye?” he asked, motioning to Claire.

“Sorry, this is Claire, my girlfriend.” Hamish gave Jamie a cheeky nod of approval before exchanging waves with Claire across the horses' backs, while Jamie faced Claire to continue the introductions.

“Claire, Hamish is a mate from school. We ran into each other when I picked up my new phone. He’s the manager at the Tesco in Queensferry,” 

He turned back to Hamish and nodded back towards the river. “We’re just riding back from Blackness. Went for a wee swim and a picnic.” 

“Oh, aye. Took her down to the auld make out spot hey,” Hamish winked. “Yer Jamie here was a real ladies man, ye ken,” Hamish teasingly told Claire. “Many a lass was overcome by those wee dimples and curly red locks.” Laughing, Jamie shook his head and scoffed then punched Hamish's arm, the way that only a true friend could do, without receiving a bigger blow back. Jamie looked back to Hamish who was still rubbing his arm after Jamie’s ‘playful’ punch. 

“He made the rest of us look like shite, no girls approached us in school when he was around,” Hamish recalled. “He was taller than all of us by sixth grade, looked 5 years older tae, nae one could compete.”

“Oh really,” Claire laughed, giving a mischievous look at Jamie, she added, “do tell me more, Hamish. I find this all very interesting.” 

“Oh, we’d love tae, but we ain't got the time,” Jamie rolled his eyes at Claire. “We need tae get back before Mrs. Crook drops off the bairns, remember?” He was feeling extremely uncomfortable and lying through his teeth. He motioned in the direction of Lallybroch to Claire, hoping to make obvious his desire to end the conversation. 

Taking pity on the poor lad, Claire agreed and they bid a fond farewell to Hamish, but not before he invited them to a family get together that evening to celebrate his da’s 70th birthday. “We’d love tae see ye there Jamie, ye tae Claire. Oh, ‘tis Highland dress too,” he smiled as he kicked his horse on and rode away. 

Jamie and Claire continued on their ride, with Jamie refusing to answer Claire’s repeated questions about what ‘Highland dress’ actually meant. She automatically presumed it meant a kilt, something she had longed to see Jamie in since first hearing his irresistible accent.

They arrived home from their ride a few hours later— after stopping here and there for some sightseeing — to a full house. It had been a rare occurrence since Claire’s arrival. Everyday, one or two of the adults and sometimes the kids, would be at the hospital with Brian, but today, he had insisted the family take a break and spend the day together. 

So when Jamie shared news of their invitation from Hamish, Jenny was quick with an offer to take Claire shopping for a dress, while the boys stayed home and cooked a lovely family meal. 

The unexpected shopping trip had Claire nervous, to begin with. Jenny’s attitude towards her had certainly improved, but this would be the most time they spent together without Ian or Jamie acting as a circuit breaker. 

Claire was relieved and pleasantly surprised, almost -knock me over with a feather- level surprised, to find she need not have worried. Jenny was amazing, and Claire almost felt like she was out with a different person, to the one who had made her very presence in the Fraser family home seem so unwanted. She giggled and joked, shared embarrassing stories of Jamie's youth, and revealed to Claire just how much she had been struggling and how urgently needed some fun time away from the pressure of the hospital and the kids.

Attempting to take advantage of Jenny’s good mood, Claire had tried her best to have Jenny divulge the meaning of Highland dress too, but she had been sworn to secrecy by Jamie before they left and had even gone to the extent of taking Claire’s phone away from her to stop her from googling pictures. All that she would reveal was that Claire was not bound to any such attire, neither being born in the Highlands or married to a native; she could choose her outfit as she pleased. 

After several different stores, a sinfully delicious afternoon tea, and lots of fun trying on beautiful frocks, Claire fell in love with the most inappropriate dress for this time of year. It was a 50’s style, white, sleeveless and sat just below knee length. Claire looked and felt divine; it accentuated her stunning figure perfectly and Jenny agreed she had to have it, and even promised her best winter dress coat would match it perfectly.

With their shopping trip over, the ladies drove back to Lallybroch and arrived just as their meal was being served. The family ate together — another rarity these days — and then spent some time just relaxing and talking, until Maggie decided she had had enough of everything and began to scream the house down. No one was able to settle her, so in a last ditch attempt, the Murray's all piled into the car and took her for a drive, hoping the humming of the engine and winding roads would do the trick and send her off to sleep.

With the house all to themselves, Jamie’s eyes, and hands, turned immediately to Claire’s lovely ass. 

“I havena touched ye for hours sassenach, I need ye now,” he whined, giving her the most adorable puppy eye look he could summon. 

As hard as it was to resist his charms, the time for the party was almost upon them. Claire reluctantly released herself from his grip, tutted, and shook her finger in his face. “No, no, no, my love. We have to get ready. I promise, if you're a good boy, I’m all yours when we get home.” 

Jamie grabbed at his chest and pouted, reluctantly leaving Claire to dress in their room, while he dressed in his da’s. For once, she was ready first and waited impatiently by the fireplace in the lounge for Jamie, eager to see what he was wearing.

Heavy footsteps on the wooden stairs alerted her to his entrance, with each step increasing her excitement and anticipation. She turned, just as his feet hit the stone floor and what she saw took her breath away. He was decked out in his full regalia; collared frilled shirt, his plaids gathered at the shoulder and draped over his jacket, broached by the Fraser family broach. His kilt, made up of grey, brown, gold, red, and black tartan, sat just above his knees and he even wore a traditional furred sporran. His socks, just visible over the top of his boots, was quite possibly the sexiest thing she had ever seen in her life. 

Immediately wet; the throbbing between her legs was maddening. Claire had wanted Jamie since the moment she first saw him. She was constantly hungry for his touch, to feel him inside, but this was different, this was primal.

Jamie had just opened his mouth to ask her opinion on the kilt when she launched herself at him and pushed him back into the staircase. Her tongue thrashed against his lips as she tugged helplessly at his kilt, hitching up what felt like endless layers of pleats, to find his length, already hard and glistening. 

Pushing aside her underwear, she slowly slid down his cock, relishing the feel of him as he entered her inch by inch; both moaned in relief as she was stretched all the way until he filled her completely. She pressed her hands into his chest and rode him wildly, both completely lost in the explosive lust that had overcome them. 

Jamie winced in pleasure and pain as she bore down, grinding her hips into him, his ass ramming him into the hard staircase with every thrust; he didn’t care if he couldn’t walk for a week, nothing was stopping this. 

She squealed in ecstasy as he began to push into her from underneath, meeting her hips and driving him deeper inside. She tore off his shirt sending buttons flying into the air, while he licked the hint of her breast squeezing out from the top of her dress. It wasn’t enough, so he slipped her shoulders from her dress and hungrily chased her breasts into his mouth, tasting, suckling each one as if his life were dependent on them. 

Her frenetic pace continued and she rode him, screaming, “harder Jamie, fuck me harder,” again and again. 

“I’m close,” he cried as she felt him pulsing inside her. “Ye look sae bonny, Claire.”

Unsure how much more he could take and wanting to try something to pleasure Claire, he reached his hand underneath her and lightly pressed his finger in her ass; the new sensation pushed Claire into the deepest, mind-altering orgasm she had ever felt. Jamie moaned as he felt her come around him, desperately chasing her lips as he spilled his seed inside her, while she helplessly collapsed on top of his heaving chest. 

Jamie lay beneath her, smiling to himself, softly kissing her hair and running his fingers up and down her neck.

Each stroke was a reawakening to Claire's desire. She could still feel him pulsing inside her, and the delicate caressing of her skin was too much, she wanted, needed him again.

She slid from atop him, took his hand, and pulled him to his feet. 

“I’m not finished with you, Fraser,” she teased, with a wicked smile and a nod up to the bedroom that portrayed her exact intentions. 

Holding his hand, she led him up the stairs and as her foot hit the landing, she turned to face him. Walking backward, watching him eyeing her breasts bounce up and down; her eyes sparkled in anticipation of seeing Jamie hard, ready again within three steps. 

She dragged him to his room, paused in front of the bed, and bit hard on her finger. Her eyes darted across his body, drinking him in, almost disbelieving how delicious he looked standing before her, shirtless, in his tented kilt. 

“Can you handle some more, Jamie?” she moaned, as she spun around, bent over the bed, and looked back at him over her shoulder.

“Christ Sassenach, ye're unbelievable.” He wet his lips, grabbed her hips and slid into her effortlessly. 

“Ye’re sae wet,” he moaned as he gently pushed deep into her core. He took his time in this new position, thrusting slowly and gently at first, out of concern of hurting her and curiosity at the curves of her body from this new angle. “It’s okay Jamie, go harder, I can take it.” She pushed her ass back, demanding deeper penetration.

“Aye, ye like it like this do ye? Watching me fuck ye, filling ye from behind? I thought ye were a lady,” he grunted, his nose scrunching, struggling to speak as his pace and intensity increased as she commanded. 

Claire continued to watch him over her shoulder, loving the enthusiasm and wonder on his face; he clearly liked what he saw, as did she. Every sculpted, defined muscle in his body glistened with sweat as he pounded into her. 

She closed her eyes and listened to the sounds of him fucking her; the slapping of his legs against her ass, the grunts and moans he released with every thrust, the depth and heaviness of his breathing, spurred her on and she felt her body tensing as she raced towards climax. 

“Please... touch me, Jamie,” she begged. 

Wetting his lips, he dipped his fingers in her wet folds, then slipped them forward to her pulsing clit, caressing it in time with each deep hard thrust. His fingers worked furiously while his other hand gripped her hip tighter and tighter.

Lost in the relentless pleasure, Claire felt almost dizzy. She held her breath and threw her head back, her whole body jolting, absorbing each powerful blow but needing more. “Faster, Jamie. Harder!” she moaned. 

Her moaning brought him so close, that with a hard pull on her hair, one last ferocious thrust, and the most animalistic noise he had ever made, he filled her again. The sound and feel of his climax spurred Claire to hers and she came with a scream, his name on her lips, crying it out, again and again, like a desperate prayer.

The whole room flashed white and unable to stay upright, she fell forward onto the bed, bringing Jamie along with her. Their bodies, entangled and helplessly exhausted, lay still, unable to summon the energy to move. 

Once both recovered from their glorious highs, laughter bubbled to the surface. 

“Feck, if I kent that would happen when I wore my kilt, I woulda worn it a bit sooner,” he chuckled at himself, while Claire continued to lay breathlessly, unable to feel anything from the waist down.

As the afterglow slowly dissipated, Claire began to regain some sense and feeling in her body. She propped herself up against the bed head and scanned the scene of destruction that Jamie's room had become; sheets were ripped from the bed, pillows and clothes were scattered across and the floor and Claire’s beautiful new gown was in ruins. She cringed and bit her lip as she looked down and found the shoulder seams ripped on both sides, and the zipper completely jammed. 

“Christ, I'm sae sorry, Sassenach. I must have torn it when I ripped it from ye body.” Jamie said, as he softly kissed her shoulder. 

“If I recall correctly, a few buttons flew off my shirt when ye launched yerself at me.” With a half smile and his eyebrow cocked, his fingers caressed her neck and back.

“We really need tae learn a wee bit of self-control, Claire.”

Laughing together, they looked each other up and down. Her dress remained around her hips on one end and sat beneath her still bare breasts on the other. 

“Jamie, would you mind terribly if we skipped the party?,” Claire asked. “I mean, look at us.” 

“I think ye look bonny, Mo ghraidh, but ye may be right. I dinna have another dress shirt and Ian’s would be way too small,” he smiled cheekily, gripping his bicep. “I’ll give Hamish a call and make an excuse if you run downstairs and pick up our belongings. I dinna think Jenny would be impressed if she came home tae see the mess we made of her staircase.”

Claire quickly threw her robe over her torn dress and ran downstairs. She collected the shirt and buttons, then ran back up, just as Jenny and Ian walked in. Jamie was just finishing his call with Hamish and was still shirtless in his kilt.

 _God damn,_ Claire thought to herself as she slipped off her dress and climbed into bed. Unable to take her eyes from him, she felt not one bit of remorse over the damage to her dress or missing the party. The idea of lying naked, next to Jamie, still in his kilt and socks, was heaven. Her mind began to drift and she considered asking him to leave the boots on too when she felt his arms slip around her waist. 

“I have tae be honest, Sassenach, I’m glad we’re not going,” he pulled back the sheet to expose Claire’s nakedness. “I’d much rather be here in bed ‘wit ye, then at that party. Tomorrow’s our last day together before ye fly home. Let's make every moment count.”

With that, he lay her down; her body melted into his, as he circled her nipples with his tongue, trailed up to her mouth, and whispered softly, “I love ye, Mo chridhe.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	9. Leaving Lallybroch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are ye feeling okay Claire? Ye dinna want tae stop?” he moaned. He was praying she would say no, but he never wanted her to feel that she had to do anything she didn’t enjoy. 
> 
> “No. I don't want to stop. I want to see you, I want you to look, I want you to watch me,” she sighed.

“Hmmm,” she whimpered. “Please, there, right there.”

Jamie grabbed Claire’s hips, slid further underneath her, and pulled her lower onto his mouth. She was hovering above him, collapsed forward onto her elbows, barely managing to stay upright as his tongue devoured her clit. 

He released one hand from her hip and fumbled his way up her stomach to find her heavenly breasts. Her nipples, already taut as cherries, tightened further as he pinched and flicked them, then caressed and cupped her breast.

Loud moans, that Jamie was sure half the house could hear, pushed him to work harder, to do whatever it took to draw more. He didn’t care who heard them, all that mattered at this moment was Claire—her body and her pleasure. He had total control of her right now, and he wanted to make her scream. 

While his tongue remained focused on her clit, two of his long, strong fingers glided along her hopelessly wet folds, then plunged inside her tight, wet core, curling and pumping, over and over again, desperately seeking out her favourite spot. 

Claire moaned with pleasure, biting down fiercely on her quivering lip, almost unable to bear his relentless attention. Her whole body shook as she desperately struggled to maintain her position.

“Ye like that Sassenach? Tell me ye like it!” he said, briefly pulling his head from inside her.

“I, hmmmm, I like it, Jamie...I...” 

Jamie couldn’t help but laugh as his lips pressed against her again. 

“Aye, I have ye squealing like a wee mouse. I need tae hear more, gimme more Sassenach,” he growled, the laughter gone. 

Her breathing and shaking intensified as his tongue replaced his fingers, lashing inside her pussy. She shifted her body weight to one side and reached down, her hand gripped his curls as she pushed down, forcing his tongue deeper again. 

Her hand stayed twisted among his curls, holding him right where she wanted while she rode him. 

His muffled moans drove her wild as she sat on his face, helplessly rocking back and forth as his tongue continued to fuck her. Desperately close to climax, she dragged him back to her clit and with one last frenzied assault, she shattered, screaming as he carried her over the edge, “God...Jamie!”

Slowly, he began to slide from between her trembling legs, but quickly returned for one last delicious taste. Unable to take any more pleasure, her body seized from his touch. She was done, breathless. Smiling and sated, she collapsed onto her back. 

Jamie lay with his head on her velvet thigh, gazing at her, simply in awe of her magnificence, and full of pride with his mastery of her body.

“Ye look bonny, _mo nighean donn_. Ye’re glowing. Yer cheeks are so rosy, and yer lips, god they’re delicious, so plump and pink, I just wanna kiss em.” He lavished her still goosebump covered thighs with kisses, before his eyes settled upon her face again. “I could lay here and watch ye like this forever.” 

Taking a moment to catch her breath before answering, Claire’s hand reached down and lightly caressed his face. 

“Perhaps I need to cancel my flight. I would have never agreed to leave Scotland if I knew I would wake up to _this_ every day,” she giggled, biting her finger.

“Aye, ‘tis the best way to start the day, Sassenach, and I look forward tae many more mornings like this with ye over the years.” 

He released a hungry growl from deep inside his throat as he climbed slowly towards her. 

“Ye ken, I always wake up verra hungry,” he said with a devious grin. 

Grabbing her hips as she snarled, he pulled her down towards his face, sliding her over the crumpled sheets and flipped her effortlessly onto her stomach. “Time for seconds _mo cridhe_ ,” he smirked, taking a sizable bite of her ass.

“Owww, Jamie!” She laughed, swatting her arms behind her back, trying, but not really trying, to slap him.

A loud knock on the door and even louder clearing of the throat by Jenny, cancelled his intended seconds. 

“If ye’re quite finished in there, it's almost time tae leave. Ye dinna want Claire tae miss her flight,” she scolded.

Claire instantly flipped onto her back, grabbed the quilt from the floor and buried herself beneath it, glowing with embarrassment. Jamie, however, didn’t flinch. 

“Dinna fash, Sassenach. I’ve heard those two rutting plenty of times, ‘tis the county air and the Fraser blood, ye ken,” he said, proudly banging his fist to his puffed chest.

Regrettably though, Jenny was right. Jamie knew they had to get ready if they were to make Claire’s check-in time. So with a heavy sigh, he began to move from the bed, but not before he cheekily dragged the quilt with him, exposing Claire's beautiful naked body yet again. 

“A Dhia, cuidich mi.” 

Jamie dove back between Claire’s legs and pinned her down onto the bed. “Christ, ye’re so beautiful. I dinna want ye tae leave, Claire. Can we not just stay here, like this forever?”

Claire sat up from underneath him, grabbed his hair; her sweet, velvety lips pressed hard against him as she pulled him into a deep, slow kiss. He moaned, melting into her, his tongue, trying valiantly to find it’s way inside, before she grabbed his face, teasingly licked his lips and pushed him away.

Letting out a whimper of disappointment, Jamie grabbed after her; his arms, flailing wildly, causing him to fall flat on his face against the bed as she jumped most ungracefully to her feet. 

“Hey, I can hardly feel my legs thanks to you, but if we don’t get out of this bed now, we never will.” She smiled and laughed, but her beautiful whisky eyes betrayed her true feeling of sadness. Jamie, who was still laying down and looking up at her adoringly, buried his face into the pillows to hide his burgeoning tears. 

“I don't want to leave either, Jamie,” Claire whispered, leaning down over the bed and kissing his shoulder. 

Heartache was coming, it was inevitable. She was leaving, and even as she stood before him, he was pining for her already. 

Jamie had never known it was possible to laugh so much with a woman; share so much with her, yet still want her so badly. Their connection was the most powerful thing he had ever felt. Every moment spent together, each time they made love, he discovered something new, something more he admired, and fell deeper and deeper in love.

After several deep, shaky breaths, and a few hard slaps to his own cheeks, Jamie was finally able to tear himself from his hiding place under his pillow. His decision to leave the bed was made easier when Claire beckoned him to the bathroom. 

Jamie entered the ensuite and stood behind Claire as she turned on the shower and stepped in. He waited, capturing every move she made as the steaming hot water drenched her body. Knowing he was watching, wanting to tease him, she slowly ran her hands through her hair, down her face and neck, but as soon as he saw Claire’s hands caress her firm wet breasts, he was unable to keep his hands to himself any longer. 

He pounced, spinning her round, gripping her hips, he slammed them onto his agonisingly hard cock. He pressed against her, gliding his cock back and forth, watching her squirm against him, determined if she was to leave him today, he would give her something she wouldn’t soon forget. 

He put his hand on her back, folded her over, and took her from behind. 

It was hard and raw, the force of his thrusts, the power and passion in each one had Claire quickly coming hard around him.

Watching her fall apart, seeing the pleasure on her face, feeling her come on him was all he needed. He slapped her ass, moaned, and cried her name as he filled her. She collapsed forward against the wall, knocking her head against the tiles but not feeling it a bit—she was simply too consumed, rejoicing in the orgasmic waves crashing over her. Jamie, attentive as always, spun her to face him and kissed the red, and quickly swelling mark left behind. 

Once able to breath, and string more than two words together, they lovingly washed each other's hair—Jamie being extra cautious around her still read forehead—then bodies, lavishing kisses on every inch of bare skin. Stepping from the shower, Jamie wrapped Claire in a tick cotton towel, and covered her neck in a thousand more tiny kisses. 

Fighting back tears, he closed his eyes and let the sweet smell of her conditioner envelop his senses as he gently brushed the tangles from her glorious curls. He smiled proudly, observing and admiring their stubbornness and determination. _Just like my Claire._ No matter how much he stretched them out, or tried to tame them, they immediately bounced back into whatever shape and form they so desired. 

They slowly dressed, with Jamie continuing to check if Claire was okay every few seconds. _She may develop a headache, just a tiny wee one, but a bad enough one to not feel like flying, maybe?_

But unfortunately, all that developed was guilt for his thoughts; Claire was perfectly well, and they were almost ready to leave. Enjoying one last embrace before heading down stairs, they were interrupted by Jenny knocking on the door again. 

Jamie opened the door and there was an awkward silence for a moment, with Jenny staring intently at her brother, who eventually got the hint, and slipped out the door taking Claire's case with him. 

“Ready to go?” Jenny asked. “Anything ye need for the flight? Snacks or a book or two?” 

“No, I’m all set, thanks Jenny. I already picked some things up yesterday,” Claire answered hesitantly. Their relationship had certainly improved, they even had fun together shopping, but Claire could see Jenny was tense. And had learned a tense Jenny, was a scary Jenny. 

“Jenny…” 

“Claire…” 

They both said at the same time. “After you,” Claire said, smiling. 

“We had a good time yesterday, Claire, but…” she paused, tapping her foot and tightly holding her waist. Fearing what the ‘but’ would be, Claire took a step back and braced herself for the onslaught.

“I want tae apologise before ye leave.” Jenny said, her gaze fixed to the floor, ”I was too hard on ye when ye arrived. I judged ye before I got tae know ye, and I had no right,” she looked up to Claire, smiled and held her hand. 

“I can’t thank ye enough for everything ye’ve done for us here, with Da, and Jamie of course.” She stepped closer and hugged Claire tightly. “Ye’re a special person, Claire, and I now see why Jamie loves ye so.” 

Jamie, who was hiding outside the door in the hallway listening, peeked his head around the corner and smiled to see his two girls embracing each other. He dropped Claire’s case and joined them in the cuddle, almost squeezing the air out of them both.

“Och, bugger off, Jamie. That's enough of that,” Jenny snapped suddenly, uncomfortable with the amount of affection on display. “Ye better hurry and finish up or ye will miss yer flight.” She gave Claire one last hug and walked out, slapping Jamie’s arm as she passed him.

“Have ye noticed that when she’s nice tae ye, she’s horrible tae me? I think I liked it better when she hated ye, Sassenach.” He swept her into his arms, holding her leg around his waist and effortlessly lifting her off her feet. 

“I don’t want ye to go, Claire. I ken ye have tae, but I am going tae miss ye so much,” he swooned, kissing her as she deserved to be kissed, with all the love and passion he could muster.

“Are you trying to make me stay, kissing me like that? Cause it just might work.” she sighed, as he released her leg from his grip, allowing her to gracefully slide from his waist and plant both feet on the floor. 

“Nah, ye canna risk yer career, I would never forgive myself.”

He tenderly swept the errant curls from her forehead, and leant his against her soft flawless skin, staring lovingly into her eyes.

“Ye are such an amazing doctor, Sassenach, ‘tis a part of who ye are. I’m so proud of ye, and I look forward tae getting old and fat, while ye support me.” 

“You have no idea what that means to me, Jamie. The sweet part, not the fat bit,” she laughed, slapping his chest.

“Frank never understood or accepted how much being a doctor meant to me. In fact, he hated it. To have found you, to have the passion I feel for you, and for you to understand me so well, it’s just unbelievable,” she said quietly, letting her head softly fall against his chest as she began to cry. 

“Even though we will be apart for a little while, just know that you are my home now Jamie, and we will never truly be apart. Somehow, we’re always together, connected, always _each other's home_.” 

Jamie kissed her forehead again and gently wiped her tears away with his thumb.

“Christ I love ye, mo nighean donn,” he said, cradling her face in his hands. “And ye’re right, ye are my home, and I yers. I will do everything I can tae make ye happy, even if it means being without ye for a week or two.” 

The slow, tender kiss that followed quickly deepened and spiralled into a raw, unbridled passion, both seeking comfort and distraction from their imminent separation.

“Ye really need tae get going now ye two, the traffic is terrible this time of the day,” Ian called from downstairs.

“Aye, we know, Christ,” Jamie replied, annoyed by the interruption but more so at the fact that Ian was right, and he just wasn’t ready to say goodbye. He gave Claire one last kiss before grabbing her bags and hand and walking downstairs.

“Come, quickly eat something and then off wit’ ye,” Jenny said, holding and bouncing baby Maggie on her hip. She had prepared a big breakfast for all to share and seemed determined they would eat at least one thing before they left. 

“I think Jamie's already eaten, love,” Ian snickered, earning him a good slap on the back of the head from his wife for his comment. 

“Aye, ye’re verra funny aren’t ye,” she said covering Wee Jamie's ears. 

“What were ye thinking, brother, waking the whole house with ye rutting and carrying on. We could hear ye half the ruddy night.” Claire hid behind Jamie and wondered what happened to the sweet Jenny who had just hugged her upstairs.

“Och, calm down, Janet,” Jamie said, his fingers pointing in an accusatory fashion between her and the still chuckling Ian. “‘Tis not like I never caught ye both going at it in the stables, or the fields.” 

Claire and Ian exchanged smirks, knowing it was best to leave the Fraser's to bicker between themselves and stay well out of it.

They quickly ate, with Jenny and Jamie trading barbs the whole time, Claire and Ian at the side, laughing to themselves. Once breakfast was done, Claire hugged each one goodbye and said a teary farewell. 

“Now, ye come back whenever ye can, Claire,” Jenny said. “Ye’re part of the family now,” she said, bordering on, but almost refusing to cry. Jamie gave her a big hug, so happy that his sister had accepted his Claire into her heart, even if she was a right pain in his ass. 

Blowing kisses to the kids, Claire hopped in the car and waved goodbye. “Thank you, I’ll miss you all so much.” 

As Jamie drove away, he looked up into the rear-view mirror and watched, as the gates of Lallybroch became smaller and smaller, while feeling his heart growing heavier and heavier. 

He drove at a snail's pace, enraging the unfortunate drivers stuck behind them on the winding, narrow roads. He was happy as long as Claire remained beside him, and was more than tempted to just keep right on driving as they approached the airport exit. But the knowledge in his heart, that this was best for Claire, that her work fulfilled her, was the only thing that stopped him from turning around, and returning her to Lallybroch.

The concept of not doing everything possible to make Claire happy was beyond Jamie’s comprehension. Her revelation of how unsupportive Frank had been about her career enraged him. _That bastard had the fortune of being with Claire, of being her husband, but was too stupid and selfish to appreciate what he had._

Clearly, Frank only saw himself—his needs, his goals, and regardless of what it did to his wife, he put himself first and threw it all away. 

Jamie knew he was not that man; he would never ask Claire to sacrifice her career for him. So, as much as he needed and wanted her by his side, he was willing to sacrifice his happiness for her. She had to leave him, to go back to Melbourne and to the hospital.

The deliberately slow trip left little time for sulking once they had raced to the international terminal. The gate was filled with families, friends, and couples, all wishing each other well, and exchanging teary farewells—but Jamie and Claire saw only each other. They stood at the security checkpoint in near silence, leaning against each other, moping, neither wanting to be the one to first say goodbye. 

“Och, this is silly, ‘tis not like it’s forever, we’ll see each other in two weeks,” Jamie said, his chin rested neatly on top of her head, savouring the sweet fragrance of her hair as they swayed back and forth, almost dancing in each other's arms.

Her grip tightened around his waist and she leaned into him so much, he had to take a step back to stop from falling. “I hate the thought of being apart again, especially not waking next to you each morning.” 

“Dinna fash, Sassenach. I'm sure the time will fly by once ye get back into ye routine. Ye’ll be back in my arms before ye know it.” 

His words were meant to be of comfort to Claire, but in truth, he didn't believe them himself. The thought of being here without her, of waking up without her nestled into his side, pushing him to the edge as she hogged the bed, broke his heart. 

The final call for her flight rang out above their heads, resulting in their grips on each other tightening. _Just gimme five more minutes._

“I’ll call you as soon as I land,” Claire sobbed “I… I,” Jamie cut off her words by pulling her into a long goodbye kiss that neither wanted to end. 

“I love ye tae, Sassenach.” Jamie kissed her again, swallowing back tears, trying to hide the emotion threatening to overcome him. “Please dinna cry, Claire. “Tis just two weeks, and then I’ll hold ye again.”

After one final kiss, she turned and slowly walked away. With tears streaming down her face and a final look over her shoulder, she passed through the gate and out of sight...but for only a moment. She raced back to him, jumping into his arms, shaking. “I’m not ready, Jamie,” she sobbed. 

His hand gripped the back of her head and he held her close, whispering 

_‘Na bi a ’caoineadh’_ into her hair, until her sobs slowly subsided. 

“Ye have tae go, Claire. For me, for ye, for us. I promise, t’will be okay. Do ye trust me?”

She looked up and nodded, “with my life.” 

“Then, ye have tae go.” His body ignored his words, and he clung to her for dear life.

“I love you, Jamie.”

“And I, ye.” He kissed her and finally, let her go.

“Goodbye, Jamie,” she sobbed, as she turned and ran to the gate. 

Jamie stood and waited, frozen to the spot, hoping she would return, that he could keep her with him, forever. But this time, she didn't come back.

_Just two weeks Fraser, and you can kiss her again._

~~~

“Claire...Claire..Hello, earth to Claire!” 

Claire jolted from her chair and spilt her coffee down the front of her crisp, linen shirt. 

“Bugger! Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Lizzie said, quickly passing her a napkin from her pocket.

“No, no, it's okay, I was miles away. What did you need?” Claire replied, hopelessly dabbing at the stain with the napkin while wondering, How long has this been in her pocket for?

“Do you remember this handsome devil?” Lizzie wheeled a young boy in a wheelchair in front of her, both with big smiles on their faces.

“Willie!” cried Claire, “it’s great to see you again. Well, it’s not great that you are in hospital again, but I’m very happy to see you.”

“I’m having my VNS implant put in tomorrow. Doctor Mackenzie is doing the operation and look, he just gave me this.” Willie held out his hand to show Claire a little Minecraft figurine. “I told him last time when I was here that I loved Minecraft. I can’t believe he remembered.” 

“Me neither,” Claire said under her breath. 

Her disdain for Dougal had only increased as she spent more time with him. There was something truly unsettling about his nature. His ability to seamlessly switch his personality on demand, depending on the circumstances, was something Claire had never come across before. 

He was so kind, caring and thoughtful to his patients, and his surgical skills were second to none. But a very different Dougal was on display when he was alone with a woman; his behaviour bordered on predatory. Claire had witnessed many occasions where he would deliberately brush up against a young nurse’s breasts or bottom, or make derogatory or overly sexual comments. 

He was very careful when selecting his targets; always choosing the newest, youngest and most seemingly vulnerable and easily influenced woman. Perhaps his past success in keeping his secret activities quiet had left him overly confident, because by choosing Claire as his latest victim, he had made a drastic miscalculation. 

Claire and Lizzie sat and chatted with Willie for a few minutes, catching up on his adventures at school and with his friends, and learned all about his favorite Minecraft realms. “Jamie knew all about Minecraft. Is he here today?” he asked innocently. 

Jolting in her seat on hearing Jamie’s name, Claire felt like Willie had taken that figurine and stabbed her straight through the heart. 

“No, Jamie’s in Scotland,” Claire forced a smile while swallowing back her tears. “Hopefully he will be back this week, but his dad has been unwell. He’s been gone over a month now.”

Willie was fascinated by Jamie’s Scottish trip and a whole new line of questioning commenced. “Does he eat that blood pudding stuff? Does he wear a skirt, and one of those little bum bags?” he asked, laughing. 

Despite her attempts to hide it, the change in Claire’s demeanour and her difficulty to keep smiling while fielding Willy’s onslaught was obvious to Lizzie.

Claire was struggling in Jamie’s absence and had dumped her woes onto Lizzie and Geillis for that matter, several times over several wines. Wanting to give Claire some respite from Willie's interrogation, she offered to take him down to see the hospital's Meerkat enclosure. “It’s nearly their feeding time, let's go,” she said and rubbed Claire's arm gently as she walked away. 

The relationship between Claire and Jamie had become common knowledge in the hospital after Claire received a call from Jamie at the end of her second week back. Her initial excitement to hear his voice mid-shift, quickly changed to tears of disappointment—Jamie had offered to stay on in Scotland. 

His da had been discharged and was now recouping at home. His care needs had been more than expected, and Jenny and Ian simply couldn’t manage everything without him, especially since Jenny had revealed the happy news that she was expecting their third child. She was suffering terribly with morning sickness and Jamie couldn’t live with himself if he abandoned them now.

Jamie had already spoken to his manager at the hospital and made arrangements to extend his leave, meaning he could stay as long as needed while securing his job. Claire may not have liked Dougal in the slightest, but his standing in the hospital had surely helped out in coming to this arrangement. 

Unable to hide her distress on hearing Jamie’s news, Claire wept freely, not only over her concerns for Brian's health, but the daunting realisation she could possibly be without Jamie for several more weeks. She was happy for Jenny and Ian of course, but still, she was heartbroken.

Facetiming several times each day and often all night had helped ease the burden of loneliness, but the time difference was wreaking havoc on both of them. Their need to be together won out over sleep so much that Claire had gone to the extent of swapping shifts this week with Joe, to be able to sync up her and Jamie’s sleep schedules. 

With two weeks of night shifts in a row, they had their new routine down pat. Each day, she would be home by around nine AM, which was midnight in Scotland. She was normally exhausted and couldn’t wait to get home, jump into bed and talk to Jamie as they fell asleep together. 

Tonight's shift was almost over and Claire was heading back to the ward to finalise the day's medication changes. As she rounded the corner and approached the staff room, she came across Dougal and Joe, standing face to face, chests puffed and fists clenched, in what was clearly a heated exchange. 

As soon as they saw Claire, they parted ways. Dougal stormed off, so agitated and angry, his shiny bald head was glowing as red as tomato. Joe too, was furious, he paced up and down the hall taking deep breaths to calm himself. 

“Jesus H Christ! What was that all about?” Claire asked to the still pacing, still mumbling, Joe. 

“I was speaking to Mary a little while ago, came across her crying in the staff room. Apparently that wanker...” he said, ponting in the direction of Dougal’s retreat, ”has been hitting on her and trying to get dirt on someone here in the hospital.” His pacing re-commenced and an ominous feeling began building inside claire. _Is he getting dirt on me?_

“I confronted him and he denied it outright, called Mary a slut and a liar. Now, I know a liar when I see one, and I can tell you, Mary is not the liar in this scenario,” he said with his hands still shaking from the pent up rage inside him. 

“I can confirm he is a complete creep. I know he has hit on several of the nurses here, he’s even been very forward with me,” Claire said quietly. 

“With you?!” Joe yelled. “Why in God’s name hasn't anyone reported him? Surely in this day and age, he can’t pull this crap and get away with it.”

“I don’t know if there has ever been a formal complaint.” Claire joined Joe and began to pace back and forth alongside him.

“He’s very selective, Joe. A lot of the girls he’s hit on are probably too scared to say anything. I haven’t got involved and maybe that was a mistake.” They circled around each other, both concentrating, rubbing their chins, trying to think of what to do. 

“We need to start with Mary. If we can get her on board, she can help us talk to the others. She’s very close to all the nursing staff, so they would trust her.” Claire chewed on her fingernails while Joe, stopped his pacing, stood right in front of her and placed his hand on her shoulder. 

“Lady Jane, he’s Jamie’s uncle. Do you think Jamie knows about this?” Claire shook her head, she knew enough of Jamie’s respectful and caring nature to know he wouldn't ignore any woman, particularly her, being treated like that.

“Jamie is well aware of his uncle's roaming eyes, but I don’t think he knows the extent of it. He would do something about it if he knew. They are very different people Joe, chalk and cheese,” Claire assured. 

Joe nodded, trusting Claire’s judgment without question. 

“Look, I have to get back to the clinic. You get out of here and I’ll see what I can find out from Mary, get the ball rolling, so to speak.” Joe went to walk away before he turned back sharply. 

“Dougal has never hurt you, has he Claire? When you say he was forward with you, what do you mean?” Both arms rested on her shoulders now, he looked so concerned and worried for her safety. 

“No, Joe, he’s just been super creepy. Overly friendly you might say, but he's never actually made a move or pressured me, I promise.” 

Joe patted her shoulders twice, seemingly satisfied with her answer and walked down the hall. 

“Go home and get some rest, Lady Jane,” he called without turning. “Leave it to me!” 

**~~~**

_What time is it?_

Jamie grabbed his watch from the bedside table for probably the tenth time in fifteen minutes. 23:50. _She should be home any minute_. 

He’d been waiting in bed for an hour already, just in case she finished early. He’d scrolled through twitter and IG, re-folded all his socks and underwear in his bedside table, and the last 20 minutes had been spent simply tapping his fingers nervously on his wrist and humming. 

At some point, he drifted off to sleep and the sound of his phone suddenly ringing startled him so much he fell out of bed. His phone landed neatly on his chest and he quickly answered it from his position laying on the floor. _Perfectly natural, ye numpty_

“Sassenach!” 

“Hi Jamie, oh I've missed you. How was...are you lying on the floor?” Claire was squinting into the camera to see what he was doing. 

“Ahhh...aye. I fell out of bed when ye called,” he laughed, red as a beet. “I was going tae try and tell ye I was doing sit ups or something but I canna lie tae ye.” He dropped his head in shame as he laughed.

“You DORK!” Claire was laughing so hard, Jamie couldn’t see her properly as her phone was shaking in her hand.

“Oh is that how it is? Ye’re laughing at me now. Ye’re lucky I’m not there with ye or I'd have to punish ye, Sassenach.”

“Really?” she asked, still laughing. “And what would that punishment consist of exactly?”

“Well, we take our punishments verra seriously here in the Highlands, Claire, ‘tis no joking matter.” 

Jamie's smile turned to a sexy smirk as he began to imagine what he would do to her, if given the opportunity. His voice lowered, deepened in tone. 

“Ye’ve been verra naughty, so I would have tae take ye over my knee.” 

Claire’s laughter ceased immediately. Her face had softened and a slight blush rose to her cheek. 

“Really, what then?” she asked, chewing the side of her lip.

Jamie’s grip on his phone tightened, almost as he was tightening his grip on her body. He climbed back onto his bed and lay the phone beside him. 

“Well, for the next part, I need tae know what exactly ye’re wearing. Can ye show me?”

Claire stood from her couch and slowly ran the camera up and down her body.

“Describe it tae me, Sassenach,” he said. “Tell me what ye’re wearing.”

She waltzed over to the bed and stood by her mirror.

“I am wearing a sheer burgundy shirt, the one with the frills on the shoulders,” 

“Oh aye, I like that one. What else?” he said

“A dangerously short, dark grey skirt that's bordering on inappropriate, to be honest. Underneath that, black tights, then my black ankle boots,” she said, showing each item as she described them.

“Are they yer suede boots, Sassenach?” he asked, becoming more and more turned on with each passing heartbeat.

“You do know my wardrobe very well, don’t you? It's kind of sexy, yet kinda creepy,” she giggled. “Yes, the black suede boots, can you see them? or is it too dark?”

“Nah, I can see ye just fine. Ye look bonny Sassenach, but I still have tae punish ye I’m afraid.”

Claire playfully raised her brows and bit her finger. Jamie feared he may faint. 

“Please, dinna do that Claire, I canna take it,” he whimpered.

“What? This?” she replied, again biting her finger, then slowly licking the tip.

“Oh aye, now ye’re in real trouble.” 

He was now holding the phone as close as he could, and it made Claire laugh again. 

“You do know, holding the phone that close doesn't make it easier to see me. It’s not bringing me any closer.” 

They both laughed at his stupidity for a moment, but Jamie quickly brought the focus back to dishing out his punishment.

“I am going tae ask ye tae do exactly as I say. Now, I need ye tae slowly slide that lovely soft shirt out from underneath that silly wee skirt.”

“This shirt?” Claire replied, playfully cocking her brow. 

“You want me to do this?” She gently slid her hand down the front of her skirt, bit her lip as her hand moved around against her panties, then tugged at the shirt until it slipped free.

Jamie was already hard as a rock and not sure how much more he could take. But he was prepared to find out.

“Now trace yer finger along the hemline of yer shirt, then, I need ye tae slowly take it up over yer head.” 

Clare followed Jamie's instruction, sexily shaking her loose curls out and sat waiting in her bra for her next command. Jamie could see Claire's excitement, her nipples were hard like cherries pointing straight at him through the sheer lace of her bra.

“Okay, now, I need ye tae slip off those boots, then pull down yer tights.” Claire dramatically kicked her boots off across the floor, then placed her phone on the table and reached under her skirt to find the waist of her tights. She slowly lowered them, stopping mid-thigh level. 

“Christ, Claire. Ye’re driving me crazy, I need tae touch ye,” begged Jamie.

“Uh, uh, uh, you have to finish undressing me first.” She whispered into the phone.

“Aye, slip those tights off then,” he ordered. The tights were slowly rolled down her thigh, calves and ankles, then kicked off like her boots. 

“Now, I want ye tae slide those panties of yours down, then yer bra is a tae come off too.”

Claire reached with one hand, up in between her legs and pulled down her panties, stepping out one foot at a time. She then stood facing the camera and removed her bra. Her breasts spilled out as she dropped her hands to her waist to remove her skirt.

“Leave the skirt Claire, please?” he said softly, wetting his lip as he always did right before a kiss. 

“Lay down on yer stomach for me, then just pull yer skirt up, over yer lovely round ass.”

Claire did as told. Moving the camera first, she then lay down on her bed. Then she began to lift her skirt, inch by each, until it lay around her waist and her bottom was exposed. 

She was panting helplessly now, so turned on by Jamie's demanding instructions and her obedience in following them.

“Have you ever done this before, Jamie?” she asked shyly. 

“Nay, have ye?” 

“No, never. But I like it, it’s hot Jamie. I want you so bad. God, I wish I could touch you.” Her hands absentmindedly gripped the sheets, twisting, almost binding around her hands, while her thighs rubbed together, seeking any kind of friction she could find against the sheet.

“Aye, me tae, mo chridhe.” He quickly dispensed of his jumper and jeans, and as per usual, he was wearing no underwear. As soon as his jeans slipped from his waist, his erection was clear for Claire to see. 

“I’m sae hard Claire. Can ye see what ye do tae me?” Jamie couldn’t take his eyes off the screen, hypnotised by the sight of Claire writhing on the sheets, begging for his touch. 

“I want ye tae feel good Claire. Please I want ye tae touch yourself, let me see ye, please,” he begged.

Claire flipped onto her back and slipped a hand in between her legs. She began to rub softly, then increased in intensity as the sensations flowed through her body, flushed with heat. She was so wet and she felt like she may reach her peak almost straight away. Turning to the camera, she could see Jamie had a firm grip of his cock and was masterfully working it front to back, drawing a sigh as he saw her watching. 

“Are ye feeling okay Claire? Ye dinna want tae stop?” he moaned. He was praying she would say no, but he never wanted her to feel that she had to do anything she didn’t enjoy. 

“No. I don't want to stop. I want to see you, I want you to look, I want you to watch me,” she sighed.

One hand continued teasing her clit, and with the other, she slipped two fingers into her pussy, the sight of which almost drove Jamie to come instantly. He grit his teeth and released his grip in a desperate bid to hang on.

Slowly withdrawing her fingers and moaning as they tickled against her entrance, she held them to the camera, to display her wetness glistening on her fingertips. 

“Look how wet you made me, Jamie. Do you see what you do to me?” 

An animalistic growl roared from deep in Jamie's chest, forcing his hand back to his throbbing length. 

“Oh God,” he moaned, his pace and pressure surging. He couldn't stop now.

“I’m sorry Claire, I’m so close,” he whimpered, barely able to speak.

“Me too,” Claire replied breathlessly. She arched her back and felt the tension in her body increase with each desperate stroke of her hand. 

“Fuck me Jamie, fuck me!” she cried in vain, aching to feel him inside her despite the thousands of miles between them. Jamie gripped the sheets on hearing her desperate cry, his hips thrust off the bed and he threw his head back, the intensity became too much.

“Claire! Claire!” he cried as he spilled into his hand and fell back onto the bed. Within a heartbeat, his eyes focused back onto Claire, hoping he hadn’t missed her peak while reveling in his own.

“I’m so close Jamie, I want you to touch me.” Jamie reached out his hand and hovered his fingertips just in front of the camera. 

“I want that too Sasseanch, but for now, I need ye tae touch your breasts for me, like I was there with ye, touching ye, can ye do that?”

“Yes,” she moaned. She released her grip of her inner thigh and grasped her breast firmly, squeezing in time with her strokes. Her whole body trembled as she pinched her nipple lightly.

He could feel his cock throbbing again at the sight of her, sweating and moaning. “Christ Sassenach, ye’re going to make me come again. Look at ye.” 

“Call my name Jamie, I’m coming,” she cried.

“Come for me, Claire” he cried. “Just think of me there, touching ye.”

He watched, unblinking, as her hips rose from the bed, her face turned to the camera, desperate to see him as her body finally reached its glorious peak. “Oh, God, Jamie!” She screamed, overcome by the orgasmic sensations coursing through her body. 

They lay face to face, panting, both slowly coming down from their high. Jamie was about to speak when Claire suddenly began to cry.

“Sassenach, what is it? Why are ye crying?” He grabbed the phone in his hand and sat upright.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I just miss you so much.”

“I miss ye tae mo ghraidh. Please dinna cry,” he pleaded softly, as a single tear rolled down his cheek. 

“I love ye so much Claire, ye know that don’t ye?”

“I do Jamie, I do. I love you too.”

“Claire, I need ye tae know, hearing ye say _I do_ just now, was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Ye’ve bewitched me Claire. I would do anything for ye lass, tae give ye the life ye want, the life ye deserve. But ye have to promise me something, Claire.”

With love and passion coursing through her veins, Claire nodded, her voice shaking as much as her hands. “Anything, Jamie.” 

“Promise me, ye’ll always talk tae me, tell me how ye feel, what ye need.

I would lay the world at yer feet, Claire, but I dinna have nothing tae give ye. I have no money. I canna buy ye the beautiful things ye deserve. I dinna even have my own home.”

He stopped to wipe the tears from his eyes, but was determined to finish speaking his truth. 

“But what I can give ye, is all of me—my heart and soul. And a promise, that I will work hard, everyday of my life, tae give ye everything I can.” 

Claire wept and kissed the screen. “But you do have a home, Jamie. I am your home, as you are mine. As long as we have each other, we have everything we need. I love you, James Fraser.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, I mention a VNS Implant, Here is a description of what I am referring to. -  
> What is Vagus Nerve Stimulator (VNS) Implantation?  
> A VNS is a device used to treat seizures when seizure drugs are not effective and surgery is not possible.  
> VNS consists of a pacemaker-like generator that is implanted in the chest wall and is programmed by the physician to stimulate the vagus nerve in the neck.  
> Thin wires are threaded under the skin and woven around the vagus nerve in the neck. This device often reduces the frequency of seizures and can also be activated by a patient or caregiver to stop seizures just as they are beginning.
> 
> Vagus nerve stimulation can work for any seizure type, but it is most often used for children with debilitating epilepsy. The VNS device often becomes more effective the longer it is in, and physicians typically know within six months if the VNS is helping to control the child's seizures.
> 
> Also. The Royal Childrens hospital in Melbourne really does have a Meerkat enclosure!


	10. Home. Family. Security.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He loved Melbourne, and the life he had created there, but Lallybroch, Scotland, was home. Being here with Claire had shone a whole new light on his homeland. What had seemed so small, closed off and boring, what had driven him to seek out adventure on the other side of the world, was now the very thing he craved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful people!  
> Thank you for reading the last chapter.  
> I can't believe we have made it too chapter 10!  
> Thank you so much for the ongoing support of my first baby.  
> Love and Kind wishes to you all.

* * *

* * *

“Dougal Mackenzie is an ass.”

Lizzie was huddled in the corner of the staff lounge, mascara running down her cheeks, sobbing uncontrollably. She had just returned from an encounter with the infamous surgeon, but unlike their previous run-ins, this time Dougal had become physical. Geillis and Claire were crouching on either side of her, doing their best to comfort and support her.

“Did he hurt you, Lizzie? Do you need to be checked over? I’m happy to do it.” Claire placed her hand on Lizzie’s shoulder. Clearly traumatised, the slightest touch of her hand caused Lizzie to jump. Geillis looked worriedly at Claire, knowing Lizzie was at risk of shock.

“No, he—he didn’t hurt me, just frightened me. I told him no, I told him to stop, but he wouldn’t listen. If you guys hadn’t walked in, I don’t know what would have happened.” Her whole body began to shake as her mind became lost, trawling through the dreaded ‘what if’s’.

Geillis walked out to the hallway and grabbed a blanket from the warmer, then gently wrapped it around the trembling young nurse.

“Can ye tell us what happened, lass? Only if ye’re able to, of course. We need to report him this time, Lizzie,” Gellis said, nodding to Claire for back up as Lizzie shook her head and buried her face into the blanket.

“Absolutely, we have to report him,” agreed Claire. “If you want to talk now we can, but if you want to go home and rest, we can always talk later.”

“I can’t report him! He’s the head surgeon, he’s on the board. No one will believe me. He told me so—‘Ye ken, no one will believe a silly wee thing like ye. Not over me,'” Lizzie said, mocking Dougal's raspy voice and accent.

“He said if I didn’t do what he wanted, he could have me fired. And I need this job to send money home to dad, I can’t afford to lose it,” she cried.

Claire stood and began pacing the room, hands on her hips, fuming not only at Dougal, but herself, too. It was her mistake, her own cowardice that allowed this to happen. She had not reported Dougal earlier, and now, an innocent young woman was fearing for her job, and her safety.

“Jesus H. Christ. That man is so damn sure of himself. Well, he’s gone too far this time and now we have witnesses. You and Mary,” said Claire, looking down at her watch, doing the math on how long it would be before Joe arrived.

It was only yesterday that their discussion about Dougal took place after Joe discovered Mary in tears. With two incidents in two days, Dougal’s behaviour appeared to be escalating, something had to be done.

Claire left Lizzie in the comfort and safety of Geillis’s arms and called Jamie. Her shift should be over and Jamie would be waiting at Lallybroch for their evening Face Time. This would be the first call she had missed, and it pained her greatly, but she had to address this immediately.

“Sassenach, ye’re early tonight, and no camera. Are ye okay, lass?” Even in her rage under these circumstances, Claire couldn’t help but smile as soon as she heard his voice and the happiness and excitement it always conveyed whenever they spoke.

“Hi, Jamie. Yes, well, no, I'm not okay. I’m angry and sad, and frustrated, and, still at the hospital. I can’t leave. Something came up, and I have to deal with it now. We may have to miss the call tonight.”

“What’s happened? Are ye hurt, Claire? Did someone hurt ye?”

Claire decided she had to tell Jamie what was happening. They had promised to talk—be honest, always tell each other the truth—and she certainly wasn’t going to break a promise to Jamie over that creep, Dougal.

The initial panic in Jamie's voice faded, and anger built as she revealed the truth about his uncle. He was shocked, but couldn’t say he was surprised, revealing even as a child, he had witnessed his uncle’s unwelcome advances on women. Teachers, doctors, young and not so young, he didn’t seem to have a type, but he did seem to enjoy power, always preying on those he believed to be lower in stature than himself, less able to fight back.

“And Lizzie, she’s okay? He didna hurt her?” he asked, moving Claire with his compassion and kindness.

“Physically, yes, she seems fine. But she’s shaken, Jamie, and very frightened. Dougal has convinced her she will lose her job if she reports him. I’m going to get Geillis to take her home...”

As she spoke, Joe strode towards her, grinning widely and pointing at his watch to indicate Claire’s late departure. His happy smile didn’t last long as he came near her and read the angry look on her face.

“I have to go, Jamie. Joe’s just arrived, we need to figure out what to do. I’ll try and call you tomorrow. Go get some sleep, okay?”

“Aye, go talk tae Joe. But Claire, call me when ye get home, no matter what time ‘tis. And, don’t underestimate my uncle. He’s a canny bastard, Claire, be careful. I love ye.”

“Love you too, Jamie.” With her heart and body aching to see him and feel his reassuring touch, she ended the call and proceeded to fill Joe in on the events of the night; uncertain of any action he may have taken during her absence yesterday.

“That goddamn bastard can’t get away with this, Joe. What do we do?” she asked, as she moved towards, then poked her head in the staffroom door, only to find Lizzie still huddled on the floor with Geillis holding her to her chest.

“I spoke to one of the HR advisors yesterday, Clarence Marylebone, he led me to believe with only one report, and it being a non-witnessed incident, it’s his word against hers. He would likely receive little, if any, reprimands. But, if we can get Mary _and_ Lizzie to make complaints, and with you two as witnesses, we stand a much better chance of something happening.”

Joe and Claire returned to the staff room just as Lizzie and Geillis were standing. Lizzie was still quite shaken and a little wobbly on her feet. Joe reached out to help her, but as soon as his fingers brushed against her skin, she jumped and shrank back into the corner of the room. Slightly taken aback, Joe returned to the doorway, leaving the ladies to calm her again, then assist Lizzie to her feet.

“Sorry, Joe. I know you were trying to help me,” she sniffed. “It was just, your hand, it’s so big like his, it frightened me a little.” A tiny attempt at a smile appeared on the corners of her mouth and she reached a hand to Joe and placed it on his arm.

“It’s okay, Lizzie. I understand you’re frightened. Claire and I are going to do everything we can to help you out, alright?” he said softly, trying as much as he could to have a gentle, calming voice.

“That’s right, Lizzie,” Claire inserted, “we’re going to make sure this doesn't happen again, not to you, or anyone else here at the hospital. It's over for Dougal.”

~~~

Claire couldn’t have been more wrong. Not only did Clarence, the slimy HR rep, disregard the new information she and Joe brought to him that morning—including fully signed victim and witness accounts—but he also turned the complaint back onto Claire.

Dougal had claimed she was targeting him, and was laying false accusations against him to cover for her own indiscretions. Mainly, the knowledge he had acquired on her, and Mary’s improper access to Jamie’s HR records.

Jamie had warned Claire not to underestimate Dougal, and he was proving to be 100% correct.

As they left Clarence’s office, a young, but rather sickly looking man named Alex, who had been sitting at the rear of the room taking dictation, discreetly slipped a note into Joe’s hand and nodded as Claire passed him.

Joe waited until they were out of view of the office’s window before reading the crumpled note:

_'Dougal is in cahoots with Clarence, bribed over gambling debt._

_Don’t go to Clarence again, find John Grey. He will help.'_

Claire watched on eagerly as Joe's eyebrows raised, then furrowed angrily. He passed her the note while shaking his head in frustration.

“John Grey. I’ve never heard that name before, have you?”

Claire raised her eyes from the note and chewed on her lip as she thought. “I don’t think so. I spoke to the HR team a lot when I was doing my residency application, but I don’t recall him. Maybe he’s management? I never had to go that far up the chain, so I wouldn’t have met him.”

The sudden appearance of Clarence behind them in the hall meant the search for the mysterious Mr. Grey would have to wait. With a sickly fake smile, he brushed past the duo and arrogantly suggested they return to their duties. Joe's jaw and fists clenched immediately and Claire was forced to grab him by the shirt to stop him from lunging after him.

“He’s not worth it, Joe,” she said, holding her hand over his chest to keep him in place.

“He’s a pompous fool, but he’s dangerous. We have to be really careful now. Both of us have targets on our backs. You can't give him or Dougal any more ammunition to use against us.”

He grabbed Claire's hand and angrily brushed it aside. “But Claire, we can’t let them get away with this.”

“And we won’t, trust me. I have no intention of letting either of them get away with anything. But we need a plan, and we need to find this John Grey.”

~~~

Jamie was fast asleep, strewn across his bed over the covers, and half dressed. He’d tried valiantly to stay awake until Claire called him back, but after heavy dumping of snow the previous night, his day had been exhausting.

Hours had been spent shoveling snow and herding the livestock into the various barns and stables spread across the many fields in the Lallybroch estate. It was hard, physical, manual labour, and after a few days of rest recouping both in hospital and home, the work had hit him hard.

Jenny had reminded him to rest several times throughout the day, but he ignored her each time. He was in a filthy mood and didn’t take kindly to her advice and gentle ribbing.

“Dinna fash, Jenny. Ye think I’ve gone soft living in the city, do ye?” he’d grumbled. Jenny rolled her eyes and smirked towards Ian, who was working beside Jamie, cleaning out the stables. She couldn’t help but laugh at her brother's seemingly delicate ego.

“I’ve worked in these fields since I was a wee bairn, remember?” he continued, “I could do this in my sleep. I’m the future laird of Lallybroch, ye ken. Dinna forget that,” he said, slapping her on the arm.

This time, both Jenny and Ian laughed, which only infuriated Jamie more. He threw down the saddle he was about to hang on the stable wall and walked off in disgust. He knew very well he was overreacting, but he was tired and heartsick. He missed Claire and thought of her constantly. Trying to focus on other things, keeping himself busy and distracted, living a ‘normal’ life without her by his side was exhausting.

Everything he did, and everything he saw, reminded him of her. The saddle he had so immaturely tossed to the ground, was used by Claire on their ride to Blackness Castle—the place now forever etched into his mind, the place he gave himself fully to Claire. The herb garden she had worked so hard on with Jenny, stocking it with herbs useful to make various potions and concoctions to aid his da’s recovery and the kids frequent cuts and scrapes, and then of course his bedroom. The setting of their reconciliation, their laughter, their love making.

The fact was, if Claire didn’t have to return to Melbourne for her job, if it didn't mean so much to her, he would have asked her to stay with him at Lallybroch forever, maybe even asked for her hand in marriage.

He loved Melbourne, and the life he had created there, but Lallybroch, Scotland, was home. Being here with Claire had shone a whole new light on his homeland. What had seemed so small, closed off and boring, what had driven him to seek out adventure on the other side of the world, was now the very thing he craved.

Home, Family, Security.

Even as he sat surrounded by his da and the Murray’s that night at dinner, silently eating his meal while still sulking, feeling embarrassed over his tantrum earlier, he still felt lonely. What would have been an ideal, happy night spent with his family just a few nights ago, now felt like salt being poured onto his open, gaping wounds.

He’d gone to bed early, and spent the night alone in his room looking over old family photos and pining. It was very unlike him, he had always been a glass half-full kind of guy, and apart from the time spent in hospital from his back injuries, he had always been able to stave off any serious cases of the blues. But tonight, he was low, really low, and he desperately needed to speak to his Claire.

So when his phone rang, and her perfect face popped up on his phone just before midnight, he felt truly relieved. He felt as if sunshine had suddenly burst through the clouds after days of snow and rain.

“Sassenach. Ye’re early tonight, and no camera, are ye okay, lass?” His happiness and relief didn’t last long. In fact, it quickly turned to anger and despair.

“What’s happened? Are ye hurt, Claire? Did someone hurt ye?” He could hear it in her voice, something was wrong. Claire kept the promise they had made to each other early on in their relationship, and instantly revealed the cause of her troubles: Dougal Mackezie.

A sense of hopelessness filled Jamie’s heart. His sassenach was in pain, all because of his bastard of an uncle getting up to his old tricks. Harassing women was one of Dougal’s favorite hobbies, and one he had revelled in as a young lad, earning quite the reputation as a true Highland ladies man amongst his mates, and a complete snake amongst the women. Jamie had witnessed his uncle's vulgarity many times as a boy, when he would spend summers with Dougal, but had believed his uncle's predatory tendencies had waned with age. He certainly hadn’t witnessed any such behaviour at the hospital, but his uncle was canny enough to know when it was safe to let his inner demons out to play.

Jamie was pleased to hear some good news—that Lizzie was not physically hurt—but it pained him to think of the psychological stress the lass must have been under.

Claire had to leave the conversation as her friend, Joe, was approaching. Jamie insisted she call him back later, no matter what time. He was glad Claire had Joe there with her, he seemed like a good guy, loyal and honest, and he trusted Claire in his hands.

The call ended with a warning from Jamie not to take Dougal lightly, and a heartfelt exchange of ‘I love you’s’.

The sound of the call disconnecting tore through Jamie's heart like a thousand blades. Wounded, he sat looking around the room that was once everything to him, that contained everything he’d loved so dearly since his childhood; but now, seemed empty and soulless without her.

Her voice, her words from just days ago echoed through his mind. _‘You are my home now, Jamie.’_

Within a single heartbeat, everything changed. Suddenly, he felt like a stranger in his own home. He didn’t belong there alone, he belonged wherever Claire was, and he could hear her in his mind.

He knew then, what he had to do.

_I need to go to her. I need to go back to Melbourne._

He lay in bed, checking flight times and trying to think of just how quickly he could arrange for someone to replace him on the farm. Luckily, the Lallybroch estate was surrounded by lovely families, many of whom had farmed the lands for generations, and who Jamie knew, would be eager to help out the Murrays and Frasers in their time of need, just as they themselves would do and had done many times before.

Scrolling through the flight times, he began to see blurred symbols and lines, rather than words and charts; his eyes were betraying him, ready for sleep before his mind. He dropped his phone and began to take off his jeans, only getting them around his hips before he fell asleep. He woke with a jump several moments later, and removed one arm and his head from his jumper, before again nodding off.

He remained twisted in his clothes, gripping his phone tightly as he slept, until it beeped and scared him half to death just after 2am.

“Sassenach, are ye okay?” were the first words from his mouth. It took as few moments for his sleepy eyes to clearly see her face, smiling back at him through the screen.

“Yes, I’m okay. Sorry to wake you, but I promised to call when I got home.” Noticing Jamie's state of undress, she laughed and pointed at his jumper, hanging around his neck.

“Did you fall asleep getting undressed?” she chuckled. “You are so bloody adorable, Jamie Fraser,” she teased with a cute little pout that took any embarrassment Jamie may have felt right away.

“Aye, I must have, more than once too I think.” He laughed at himself as he panned the phone down his long, muscular body to show his jeans still sitting around his hips.

“Hahaha, you dork!” she cried. “Poor widdle Jamie, couldn’t get undressed by himself. If only I was there to help you.” She winked into the camera and flirtatiously bit her finger.

“Aye, ‘tis true. With you around, I have a hard time keeping my pants _on_. Ye canna keep yer filthy hands off me.”

Claire laughed heartily, but a pang of guilt stabbed right into her heart remembering the news she had to deliver to Jamie about his uncle. She knew he would be appalled by Dougal’s behaviour —no one likes to hear these kinds of things about someone they care about, someone who had taken them into their home, given them shelter, even helped get their job.

“How did things go wit’ yer friend Lizzie? Did ye manage to come up with any ‘Dougal’ sized solutions?” Jamie asked, miming air quotes with his hands.

“No, quite the opposite actually,” Claire replied.

“‘Tis okay, Claire, ye need no’ be scared tae tell me anything about my uncle. Remember, I ken the kind of man he is. Tell me what happened.”

Claire took a deep breath, and turned a fierce shade of red as she spoke. Jamie wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment or anger and didn’t have to wait to find out: it was both.

“Do you remember when Mary got your address from the HR system at work?”

“Aye, I do, ye wee hacker.”

“Hey, I didn’t hack into anything. I committed no crime here, I just profited from it,” Claire giggled. “Stop distracting me with cuteness and let me tell you what happened.”

“Aye, I willna say a word.”

“So, Joe and I went to see this HR advisor, Clarence. He was good when we first spoke over the phone, and seemed really understanding. But by the time we actually got to meet the man, he had completely changed his tune. No matter what we did or said, he dismissed them all. He then brought up the HR system access, and threatened to dismiss Mary and I if I looked any further into Dougal. “

“He threatened ye? Christ, Claire. I will guarantee ye, Dougal is behind this, it reeks of him.

Threats intimidation, that's how he works. He was like that with mam and da ye ken. He didna approve of da, and tried every trick in the book tae keep ‘em apart. We have tae stop him, Claire. The higher up he gets in the hospital, the more damage he can, and will, do.”

Nothing that Claire heard surprised her. What did surprise her was the anger she could feel boiling within her. Anger directed not at Jamie, Clarence, or even Dougal.

No, her anger was directed at society. A society and systems that allowed someone like Dougal Mackenzie to succeed, to climb to the top of their profession by being surrounded by sycophants constantly looking the other way, ignoring, condoning and enabling their behaviour.

She had witnessed it with Frank at Oxford. The preferential treatment that the straight white, usually male professors received, and she was damned if she was going to let it happen here, too.

She would use her voice to fight for those that didn’t have one, and she felt privileged to have Jamie by her side in battle.

They talked for another hour, Jamie giving Claire the latest news and gossip from Lallybroch, and Claire, forcing herself to push Dougal to the back of her mind and share her joy to be back at work . As much as she missed Jamie, working with her kids again, treating patients, using her skills and abilities as she knew she was meant to, just getting back into routine felt good and fulfilled her.

Both tired and emotional, neither could barely speak, but when Claire dropped the phone and almost rolled from the bed mid-sentence, they knew it was time to get some sleep. But after exchanging a million ‘I love you’s’ and ‘goodnights’, neither could bring themselves to end the call. Instead, they positioned the phones on their nightstands, lay facing each other, together on opposite sides of the world, and were both asleep within minutes.

~~~

Jamie was unable to get a flight for two days, and the one he did manage to book left at the ungodly time of four AM.

As impatient as he was to get to Claire, he was somewhat grateful that he didn’t have to rush, and could prepare more at Lallybroch before he left. He had been able to secure a truckload of hay to be delivered, and he, Hamish, and his brother, Ewan, had spent the whole of today repairing and weatherproofing the barns and stables. It was predicted to be a harsh winter, and it felt good to know he was leaving his beloved home, in the best condition he could.

The final and most important thing he needed to do before leaving the next day, was to make the final choice of nurse for Brian. Returning home had lifted his spirits and they were all keen to keep the momentum going. Having a nurse in the home ensured that Brian could continue the progress in his recovery, without Jenny and Ian having the pressure of doing it all on their shoulders.

Jamie, Jenny and Ian, had agreed to share the costs, and had settled on an amazing local nurse, Mrs. Fitz. She was actually older than Brian, and had retired from full time nursing.

Retirement had not agreed with her at all, however, sitting around the house all day left her bored and lonely. Nursing was part of her—she’d always loved her job—so she had begun working part time as a home rehab nurse to keep her mind and body busy. Jamie liked her immediately, and was sure her happy and caring nature would be well suited to Brian and the rest of the family.

With the prospect of seeing Claire in real life, of being able to touch, hold, and kiss her, as much as he wanted within a day fueled him; he completed all his chores earlier than expected. After checking in on the still unwell Jenny, losing a quick game of chess with Brian, and being forced to rest by Ian, he made time for a quick nap before eating.

Ian had spent the afternoon preparing an early Christmas feast as a special farewell dinner in Jamie’s honour.

All Jamie’s favorites were there, including haggis and a huge Christmas pudding with brandy custard. There was still a couple of weeks until Christmas, so the effort that Ian had gone to and the opportunity to celebrate with his family before leaving meant so much, and made it ever harder to leave Lallybroch behind.

The evening was spent opening gifts and singing Christmas carols, a hilarious attempt to teach a completely confused and tech-phobic Brian how to FaceTime, and of course, drinking obscene amounts of whisky.

A tispy Jamie called it a night early around ten thirty, hoping to sneak in a little sleep before his nightly midnight call with Claire, then leaving for the airport around two AM. He set his alarm for 11.55, and was asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

~~~

“Sassenach, hello, hello!”

“Jamie! God, it’s so good to see you. I had a terrible day and missed you so much. How was yours?” She sat smirking, deliberately hiding her face from the camera.

“Busy and productive. I really miss ye too... where are ye? I can only see yer arm. Why are ye hiding, lass, something wrong?”

“Umm, I've got something to show you but I’m worried you won’t like it. I've done something impulsive... I’ve cut my hair, Jamie. It’s short, I’m not sure about it myself.”

She was lying through her teeth; she loved her new hair and had fluffed and played with it for 30 minutes before their call. It was parted to the side, just a slight wave sneaking through the day old blowout.

“Let me see yer beautiful face, Sassenach. I don’t care if ye have a merkin on yer head, ye’re always beautiful tae me. ”

_Oh god, take me now_

Sitting on the bed, she leaned into the camera. She knew she looked good. She was wearing a grey, silk shirt, tight in all the right places and an almost studded gold necklace. Her lips were plump with just a hint of colour, just how he liked.

His eyes nearly popped out of his head when she drew close to the screen and flipped her hair to the opposite side. He gulped and shifted in his seat, moving closer and closer to his screen.

“Aye, yer hair looks bonny, Sassenach. Verra sexy, I like it verra much.” He shifted in his seat again, this time looking like he adjusted himself also. “I like yer wee necklace, too, what do ye call that? A choker?”

“It’s not a choker, you dork. It's just a short necklace. I’m glad you like it, I picked it out just for you.” She ran her fingers along her collarbone and up her neck, running her finger back and forth underneath the necklace.

“Oh, a dork, am I?” He licked his lips as she continued to trace her fingers around her long elegant neck, slightly raising her chin to accentuate her enviable bone structure. “That’s not verra nice. I think ye owe me a favour now, Beauchamp.”

_God, I love it when he calls me that._

“Really, what did you have in mind for this _favour_?”

The flirty, playful tone was over. “I want ye naked, except for that silly wee necklace, and I want it now.”

His voice was low and stern, Claire didn’t think she’d ever heard him sound sexier, which in itself was no mean feat. He has the sexiest voice known to man, so low and deep it rattled her bones and opened her centre with every rolling word.

“Where should I start, sir?” Her tongue rolled over her top lip as she answered.

“Christ! There’s no fooling around tonight, Claire. Take it off, all of it.”

Claire wasted no time in peeling her shirt over her head. She stood and turned sideways to the camera, slowly gathered her skirt in her hands, and slid it down, exposing her black stockings and garters.

Jamie let out a soul deep moan, as her hands travelled upward to her satin French knickers. She slipped one hand inside and moaned, before shimmying them slowly down her hips, leaving her in just her stockings and necklace.

“Holy mother of Christ, I want to touch ye so bad, Sassenach, I think I’ll explode.”

“Not before we’ve finished, Jamie.” Her knickers now laying at her feet, her hand slid up her long legs, releasing the stocking from each garter and slowly, rolling them down, one at a time.

Jamie sat biting his lip, so hard in fact that he drew blood. It didn’t escape Claire's attention, and she reveled in it; she knew she was torturing him now. _So much for him being the boss._ She now stood before him naked as he had demanded and she had allowed.

“I want to see you. Stand up, Jamie.” He stood, placing the phone against the lamp in his nightstand, his pants tented with his massive erection. “What do ye want me tae do, Sassenach?”

“I want you to do everything, Jamie.”

His pants hit the floor in a flash and he stood before the camera, proudly displaying himself to his woman.

“Are ye still awake, a bhrathair? I just found some o’ ye....Jesus, Mary and Joseph,” wailed Jenny, throwing the laundry basket she carried into the air, covering her eyes and collapsing to the floor. She continued cursing in Gaelic and apologising as she crawled on her hands and knees out the door.

“Aaaahhhhhhh!” Jamie's hands flew to his groin to cover himself, while Claire screamed and lunged at her phone.

Jamie slumped onto the bed and buried his face in his hands, unsure whether he would die from embarrassment or from the laughter that suddenly burst from his belly. Much to his delight, he wasn’t alone. One of the most beautiful sounds in his world—the sound of Claire laughing—began to ring out, increasing in volume with each moment that passed.

“Ye still there, mo ghràidh?”

“Yes! I just turned off the camera. Oh my god, Jamie, Jenny is going to kill you, or me, or both of us.”

“I canna believe that just happened.” Jamie moaned into his hands. “I mean, she’s seen my ass before, but not for a verra long time, and certainly no’ wit my cock in my hand and a naked woman on my phone in front of me.”

“Well, it is a lovely cock, and ass...”

“Aye, tis,” boasted Jamie. “I’ve always thought so.”

His train of thought was derailed, when Ian’s riotous laughter echoed into his room from down the hall.

“Alright, Jamie!” he roared.

Nodding with pride but covered head to toe in a furious blush, Jamie stood and began to dress. As his ginger curls peeked through the neck of his shirt, Claire turned her camera back on to reveal she, too, was dressed. Well, kind of. She was wearing a black satin slip and looked sexy as hell. Jamie's embarrassment dissipated immediately and threw himself on the bed.

“Is that new too, Sassenach?” he said, taking the phone into his hands. “I like it verra much. I’ll like it even more when I rip it off with my teeth.”

“Alright, Romeo, I think that’s enough for one night,” Claire chastised, shaking her finger at the screen. “Jamie! We can’t do anything now, not with Jenny and Ian on to us. Besides, I have an appointment with the HR team tomorrow, with another manager, John Grey. If he's anything like Clarence, I need to be well rested and on top of my game. I love you, Jamie.”

“But, but, Sassenach…ye look sae bonny, just give me a wee twirl. I promise I’ll behave myself.”

Jamie’s puppy eyed pout melted Claire’s heart, but had little effect on her steely resolve.

“Uh, uh, uh. Playtime is over for you, young man, off to bed.”

“Oh, aye. Go then, get yer sleep, leave me here alone and wanting,” he moaned, then laughed. “I’ll see ye,” he almost slipped up and said soon, but caught himself just in time. “I’ll call ye tomorrow. I love ye.”

Claire dropped her phone by her pillow, her lips still curled into a smile, her body shaking from spurts of giggles, as she thought of her ridiculous, adorable man-child.

She drifted off to sleep, wondering when she would see him again.


End file.
